CH:20
Their lips met.
That was the only thought that crossed Amelia’s mind at first upon contact with Ivan.
“……”
She hadn’t even closed her eyes. She didn’t know what had just happened. It was only natural that her gaze met Ivan’s, who had been watching her closely.
Without any words, they simply looked into each other’s eyes. It felt as though her heart had been taken out and placed next to her ear — the pounding of it was deafening. Amelia didn’t avoid Ivan’s gaze, nor did she pull away. She just gulped.
At that, Ivan’s lips curled smoothly upward.
“You’re supposed to close your eyes.”
He whispered in a low voice, lips still lightly touching hers. It was advice, laced with desire.
“My… eyes?”
Amelia unknowingly repeated, then flinched. With each movement of her lips, she could feel his, every sensation vivid and new — something she had never experienced before.
“Close your eyes and relax your lips.”
Every time Ivan spoke, their lips brushed. Amelia trembled slightly, a shiver running down her spine. Perhaps she was too tense, because her body wouldn’t respond, even to such a simple request.
“I… I can’t…”
She barely managed to reply, her voice trembling with embarrassment. Ivan, who had been staring intently into her confused black eyes, chuckled softly. Then he gently bit her lower lip and tugged.
“Can’t do it?”
When Amelia gave the faintest nod, Ivan’s large hand covered the center of her back and pulled her into his arms.
“……!”
Her lips, which couldn’t even relax moments ago, parted in surprise. Still, neither of them closed their eyes — they continued to gaze into each other.
“Iv…”
She tried to call his name, but Ivan reached out and covered her eyes with his broad hand. With her vision blocked, her other senses heightened.
What’s he going to do now?
Though she was unsure, her chest fluttered with subtle anticipation. Then, something soft brushed against her nose — his skin. Ivan tilted his head, and the moment she thought their noses touched, he melted into her.
The kiss deepened quickly, desperately. His body heat, his soft tongue — all unfamiliar sensations that stirred her. Amelia reflexively shrank back and shut her eyes tightly. Ivan pulled her closer with firm strength.
Their chests pressed together. Through the contact, she could feel his heart pounding fiercely, his body burning with heat, as though set on consuming her.
“Mm…”
It felt like her lips were being crushed. Like Ivan was devouring her.
When Amelia wriggled from a discomfort she couldn’t name, Ivan stroked the soft skin on the back of her neck, as if to soothe her — or maybe, to keep her from escaping.
While she remained locked in his embrace, Ivan began walking toward the bed. Amelia hesitated and stepped back with each of his advancing steps. Then, suddenly, she fell backward onto the bed with a startled sound.
“Surprised?”
Despite always speaking informally, this time he used polite speech.
Amelia didn’t answer. She simply gazed up at the man above her. In the dim candlelit bedroom, his face was the only thing that shone brightly — as if he were light itself.
“Not as surprised as I was… to see you again.”
Amelia reached up and gently stroked his face. Ivan flinched, seemingly caught off guard by the bold touch.
“I really…”
“……”
“I’m just… happy you’re alive.”
Even that slight surprise on his face, she found beautiful. Amelia pulled his face closer with her hands. Ivan, swayed by that gentle force, tilted his head slightly.
Then once again, he invaded her mouth — claiming it, stirring it, as though declaring it his. Rough, but heartbreakingly tender.
That contrast made Amelia feel as if she were burning beneath his firm body.
It was her first time feeling anything like this.
“Ah.”
Perhaps realizing what she was feeling, Ivan pulled away. Then he began placing soft kisses along her earlobe.
Each time his lips touched her skin, it felt like heat blossomed. Amelia turned her head to the side, trembling with every unfamiliar sensation as he kissed her neck.
“Are you scared?”
At some point, her hands had pressed against his shoulders, applying faint resistance. Sensing that, Ivan asked, lips trailing down toward her collarbone. His hot, damp breath grazed near her chest, making her heart feel like it would explode.
“I’m scared,”
Amelia admitted without resistance.
“Because it’s a feeling I’ve never known before.”
“……”
“But it’s okay… because it’s you.”
But it wasn’t to push him away. She was saying that she could bear that fear — that she hoped this night would belong to him.
“I won’t ask again. You won’t regret this?”
Ivan’s voice sank lower, as if even he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer.
“I won’t regret it. Because this is the last time.”
Amelia whispered with a smile. Ivan, staring down at her, smiled faintly back. Then, with a smooth motion, he slipped off his shirt and tossed it aside.
He left a brief kiss between her ear and jaw, then gently parted her slender legs with his thigh. She had always thought of herself as thin, but his body, now pressed against hers, was firm as stone. As Ivan kissed her ears and neck to warm her up, his face gradually lowered.
And when his hand finally slipped beneath her skirt to touch a place no one else ever had, Amelia trembled violently. She swore to a god she wasn’t sure existed — this was a sensation she had never known, electric all the way to her fingertips.
“……”
She nearly cried out. Amelia bit down hard on her lower lip, stifling the sound that nearly burst from her throat. Pleasure that bordered on pain filled her eyes with tears.
“You’re crying.”
Ivan wiped the tears from her eyes with his damp hand — a gesture laced with far too much intent.
“I was trying… not to make a sound…”
But Amelia didn’t notice that. Ivan smiled down at her, as if she were a flower splayed beneath him.
“If you can’t hold it in, bite my shoulder.”
Shoulder?
Before she could ask, Ivan lowered himself and wrapped his arms around her upper body, binding her. And when he pushed forward, Amelia finally understood what he had meant.
He was far too large, far too strong.
“Wait, just—!”
Amelia instinctively grabbed at his shoulder, trying to stop him. But perhaps because of his lean muscles, her fragile fingers merely slipped over his smooth skin. They left neither pain nor mark.
“Bite.”
Ivan commanded. Her mind blanked. The only thing she could do was obey, and so she sank her teeth into his shoulder, forgetting it might hurt him. So hard that she tasted blood. But Ivan didn’t seem to mind at all.
“Ugh…”
In the end, Ivan completely claimed her. Amelia let out a whimpering moan and released his shoulder.
“It hurts…”
She whimpered tearfully. Ivan, pulling away, sat up and looked down at her.
“You’ll have to endure.”
“……”
“You said you wouldn’t regret it.”
Ivan smiled, satisfied like a lion after a meal. And yet, perhaps seeing her tearful face stirred his sympathy — he leaned down and kissed her sweetly.
His hands, however, continued to boldly stroke her, from her slim waist to the soft curves of her body.
At some point, when he could no longer hold back, he began to move.
The white dress rippled like waves on the sea. Amelia, overcome by waves of pleasure, writhed beneath him. But Ivan didn’t release his grip on her.
And so, even as her vision blurred, she kept her eyes fixed on him.
To say it wasn’t painful would be a lie, but she was happy — happy enough to die.
Even knowing this love would end in tragedy, she felt as though she was finally blooming, cradled in his arms.
