Chapter 16
The sound of leaves crunching beneath our feet was louder than when I walked alone.
That was only natural.
“The sound of stepping on leaves… It’s been a long time since I last heard it.”
“By this time of year, hasn’t the snow already melted in your territory?”
“Even if it has melted, it’s not weather like spring. Still, as you said, the north has grown a bit warmer.”
A quiet chuckle escaped me.
Without realizing it, I thought of the people there.
To me, that place had been a warm winter.
“Only now do you look at ease.”
At Kardin’s words, I touched the corner of my mouth.
Sure enough, it was curved into a gentle smile.
Lowering his head slightly, he asked,
“What were you called before you became a saintess?”
“Shallen. That’s what they called me. I was actually an orphan, so even that name was given to me by the previous saintess. My memories from before then are so distant that I can’t recall them.”
Even so, every time someone called me by that name, my heart would feel strange.
“She gave you a very beautiful name. Do you know what it means?”
It was a question I had never once considered, and I slowly shook my head.
“Here, I don’t know its meaning—but in the Helen Kingdom, it means ‘hope.’”
Hope.
It was a meaning well-suited for a saintess, yet for some reason it felt bitter.
To him, I was not someone who brought hope.
When I stayed silent, he spoke again.
“I think it suits you well.”
I didn’t know whether I could live up to that meaning, but hearing him say it made my lips lift softly.
“It makes me happy to hear that—from you, Your Grace.”
With a faint smile, I matched my steps to his.
“Does the god Gloria truly exist?”
At his question, I couldn’t help but laugh quietly.
“You’re asking that to me? A Saintess?”
“Yes.”
His serious voice made it impossible for my smile to fade.
I slowly closed my eyes, then opened them again.
“As a Saintess, I’d give you the obvious answer—that God exists. After all, I am her daughter.”
Suddenly, Kardin stopped walking.
“Then setting aside your title as Saintess—do you, personally, believe God exists?”
“Well… believing in God is a personal choice. But there were things I experienced that wouldn’t make sense if God didn’t exist. So yes, I believe she does.”
He looked curious but swallowed his question and deliberately changed the subject.
“This forest is quite different from the one in my territory.”
Following his gaze, I responded to the topic he’d gently shifted.
“Yes. Very different. Even the sound we make while walking isn’t the same.”
Kardin stopped and looked back the way we had come.
I watched him quietly.
This place had once held nothing but lonely memories of me walking alone—
And now he had stepped into it.
That meant that every time I came here again, I would remember today.
The path I once walked to forget him would now be covered with memories of walking with him.
“I see.”
He replied briefly, and I nodded in the same way.
After walking deeper into the forest, a familiar floral scent brushed my nose.
“Wisteria.”
“…Yes.”
Soft violet blossoms cascaded down the vines, beautiful enough to steal one’s gaze.
“You live here, yet you speak as if this is your first time seeing it.”
I liked these flowers.
But I had never said that out loud.
Strangely enough, the moment the Grand Ducal glasshouse had been completed, wisteria vines had been growing there.
Even now, their scent reminded me of that greenhouse.
“… It’s been a long time since I last saw wisteria.”
When I answered in a slightly subdued voice, Kardin turned his gaze back the way we had come.
“It seems we’ve walked quite far.”
“I’m glad we could see the wisteria together.”
The place where I once waited alone for you, surrounded by the scent of wisteria.
The time I spent longing for you.
Just when I thought I had forgotten, fleeting memories grabbed at my ankles.
Would a day ever come when hearing your name wouldn’t hurt?
In this place I wandered into by chance, I realized something:
My feelings for the you of my past life—and the you standing beside me now—were far too deep.
For them to fade would take a very long time.
When Kardin silently looked down at me, I forced a smile and pointed at the wisteria.
“I just meant—it’s too beautiful to look at alone.”
He followed my fingertip with his eyes, then nodded shortly.
Pretending to look at the wisteria, I instead filled my eyes with him.
We stood there like that for quite a while.
Eventually, regretfully lowering my gaze, I spoke.
“Shall we go back now?”
Kardin turned his body and looked down at me, carefully reading my expression.
“You may stay longer if you wish.”
Having lived always receiving only his kindness, I refused even that sweet consideration.
“It’s enough.”
“I see.”
When he lifted one eyebrow slightly, I smiled, tilted my head, and said,
“Let’s go.”
Sometimes, I wondered what kind of life God would grant us this time—
two people living the same life while remembering different ones.
My god answered that question quickly.
As we turned our backs on the wisteria and emerged from the forest, someone approached us.
Fabian, whose complexion looked far from healthy, was walking toward us, his brows twitching.
When I stopped, Kardin stopped as well.
Looking between me and the approaching man, I grabbed Kardin’s sleeve and pulled him behind me.
“It’s been a while, Saintess.”
“While you were unable to leave your chambers, Your Excellency, I had many matters to attend to and couldn’t come visit you.”
“I should have been of help to you, Saintess. I regret that my poor health prevented that.”
He forced a smile and turned his gaze toward Kardin.
Kardin twitched his brow and offered a brief greeting.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Hoho. Aren’t you Grand Duke Ferdian? To say it’s our first meeting wounds me. We met at the Helen Kingdom’s coronation ceremony.”
“Ah, is that so? I’m afraid I’m not good at remembering faces. Please forgive me.”
“Of course. You were quite young at the time, after all.”
As their conversation continued, I felt the corners of my mouth tense.
“Still, to think you would visit the Melissa Temple—what brings you here?”
Before Kardin could answer, I stepped forward and spoke for him.
“He was curious, since he had never visited a temple before. As it was his first time, I showed him around.”
“Hoho. I never imagined the Saintess herself would personally guide him. What a remarkable connection.”
I restrained my smile carefully.
“He was very helpful during the Helen Kingdom’s Crown Prince appointment ceremony.”
Before my words even settled, Kardin added calmly,
“And to meet Your Excellency before leaving—I must be quite fortunate today.”
“It seems I am fortunate as well to see the Grand Duke again now that he has grown into such a fine adult. Hoho.”
As Kardin stepped forward, I instinctively moved in front of him again.
I didn’t even have the presence of mind to wonder what he might think of my actions.
“However, Your Excellency—your complexion still looks quite poor. Are you truly well? I worry you may be overexerting yourself.”
“With the Saintess worrying so much, how could anything happen to me?”
“Even so, I cannot help but worry.”
At my politely false concern, Fabivan’s face twisted for just a moment.
From afar, a familiar priest hurried toward us.
“Greetings, Saintess. May God’s grace be upon you.”
I returned the greeting with a gentle bow, and he turned to Fabivan.
“Your Excellency, you must not strain yourself yet. Please return inside.”
“Hohoho. I seem to have worried many people. I should take my leave. Grand Duke, please do visit again sometime. Then—may God’s grace be upon you.”
