Chapter 13
I stepped outside and took in the quiet scenery with my own eyes.
Before long, my thoughts drifted back to the day before I left for the Helen Kingdom—more precisely, to a conversation with someone.
I had run into a priest.
A familiar face.
He was the only one who had spoken up for me when I suffered in that chainless hell in the past.
“S-Shallen… please, eat.”
“If I eat this food, will I end up living like Lady Aria?”
He had never dared to raise his voice against the Temple Head or the cardinals, but he was someone who felt guilt on behalf of their atrocities.
He saved portions of his own meals and secretly brought them to me—and to the former Saintess.
It was never easy, which was why he couldn’t come every time.
That male priest felt guilty for the sins committed above us and begged us for forgiveness.
“I—I’m sorry, Shallen.”
“I know well enough that this isn’t your fault.”
When I had already given up on everything—refusing to eat even proper meals in the days leading up to the banquet, contemplating simply dying—he had begged me to live.
If he hadn’t pleaded with me to eat, I might have clung to my meaningless pride.
The man who saved my past self.
After turning back time once more, I met him again.
On the day I went to meet the Temple Head regarding attendance at the Crown Prince’s appointment ceremony in the Helen Kingdom, that same priest approached me to show me the way.
“Saintess, this way.”
As he smiled gently and tried to leave, I called out to him.
“May God’s mercy be upon you.”
“If that were possible, it would be the greatest honor.”
“Then please—stop them.”
He approached me again, his steps stiff.
“While I am away, I hope nothing untoward happens to Lady Aria. Please stop it this time.”
At that point, the former Saintess was the only one who had escaped that prison.
Those who knew the filthy, vile side of Melissa Temple would never tolerate her remaining beside a new saintess who hadn’t yet been tamed to their liking.
Even if Fabian was acting in the Pope’s place, the highest authority in the Melissa Temple right now was the Saintess.
So they would surely strike while I was gone.
“How can I stop it?”
His stiff shoulders and trembling eyes told me everything.
What Aria must have gone through.
Until I became a saintess, he had likely begged her to live as well.
“Until I return, please personally inspect everything that goes to Lady Aria—food, water, all of it.”
It wasn’t his responsibility.
But there was no one else in this temple I could trust.
“I ask this because I hope God’s mercy is with you.”
As if solidifying his resolve, he placed a hand over his chest and bowed briefly.
“I will do it. I will stop them.”
On the night I returned from the Helen Kingdom, he came to me and asked—
Did I know what the former Saintesses had suffered?
Was that why I had asked this of him?
“You saved a life, Priest. And you protected what you wished to protect.”
My answer may have sounded vague to him.
But he protected Aria.
Someone worthy of God’s mercy.
And so I bestowed a blessing upon him.
He wept before me, tears reddening his eyes, making small sounds—as if washing away years of guilt he had never been able to voice.
Having granted a reward, I delivered punishment to those unworthy of God’s mercy—just as I had foretold.
The cycle of death.
Experiencing death every time they fell asleep.
That was the first punishment I gave them.
A cycle of death far too vivid to be dismissed as a mere dream.
I did not wish to be a saintess who bestowed blessings upon everyone simply because I was a saintess.
My god, Gloria had given me an answer.
I merely acted according to my own way—and according to God’s will.
That was all.
And so, my days passed like this.
* * *
Late at night, a man sat in his study.
Knock, knock.
At the sound of a knock, he opened his tightly sealed lips.
“Come in.”
The one who entered slowly after turning the handle was the butler of the Ferdian Grand Ducal House.
“Master, a letter has arrived.”
“Leave it here and go.”
Focused on his work, the master didn’t even look up.
The butler nodded gently and placed the letter on the desk.
Yet, instead of leaving immediately, the butler hesitated.
“Master.”
“Yes.”
“Do you have any connection to the Melissa Temple?”
At the mention of Melissa Temple, the man raised his head and furrowed his brow.
“What do you mean?”
The butler pointed to the letter on the desk.
“It is a letter from Melissa Temple, so I thought I should ask.”
“What?”
Kardin shifted his gaze to where the butler pointed.
A thick envelope entered his dark eyes.
“It was delivered personally by the Saintess’s attendant.”
“… Did she leave any message?”
The butler shook his head gently, stroking his chin.
“She said there was no message.”
“I see.”
“However, she did say that the Saintess described you as handsome and very well-mannered.”
“…You seem quite uninformed about rumors.”
The butler smiled at his master, who muttered softly, and continued.
“She also said that rumors are just rumors.”
“……”
The young woman who delivered the letter had chatted cheerfully about this and that.
It had left an impression even on the butler.
“In my opinion, the new Saintess seems to be someone who sees people clearly. Hoho.”
“You’ve never even met her, yet you think that highly of her?”
“I simply know that you are not a cold person, Master—and since the Saintess recognized that as well, I dared to think so.”
“…You also see me too favorably. Go and rest now. It’s late.”
“How could I possibly rest while you are still working, Master?”
“Are you saying I can’t rest because of you? Or are you telling me—indirectly—that I should stop and go to bed?”
“It is late. If you would accept my words as concern for your health, I would have no further wishes.”
At that, Kardin rubbed his brow and let out a small laugh.
With a resigned expression, he stood up, taking the letter from Saintess Shallen Melissa with him.
“Very well. I’ll stop here for today.”
“Thank you.”
“Tch. I don’t understand why you’re thanking me for deciding to rest.”
The butler smiled, recognizing his master’s consideration.
Seeing the gentle look directed at him, Kardin shook his head lightly.
“I’m going to my room. You should rest as well.”
“Thank you for your kindness.”
Turning his back to the butler, Kardin walked steadily to his room.
Night had settled outside the wide window.
After briefly gazing out, he sat at the desk in his room.
With long fingers, he slowly took the letter out of the white envelope.
As the handkerchief slipped out along with it, he slightly furrowed his brow.
It was the handkerchief he had given her when she cried while looking at him.
“I missed you, Grand Duke Ferdian.”
“Why do you look at me like that?”
“Because no matter how much I look, I still want to keep looking.”
Fragments of her strange words and unreadable gaze flooded his mind.
Kardin closed his eyes briefly, then opened them and unfolded the letter.
***
To Grand Duke Ferdian,
Since I do not know when “later” will be, I am sending this letter along with the handkerchief.
Around this time, the North must be seeing white snow melt under warm sunlight, forming small puddles.
If so, then perhaps the North truly is warm—just as I said.
I wish to once again thank you for your warm consideration on the day we first met, and I will end my letter here.
May the grace of the god Gloria always reach you fully.
Saintess,
Shallen Melissa
