Chapter 9 …
“Did you buy this?”
I asked as casually as I could. Seoyeon shook her head while scooping ice cream into a mug.
“My brother must’ve gotten it from somewhere again. I don’t know why he keeps bringing stuff he won’t even eat and just shoving it into the fridge.”
Hearing that, I couldn’t laugh or cry. A faint sense of embarrassment crept in, and my mood turned bitter, like I’d been hurt.
I almost pulled out my phone to check whether the voucher had been used, but stopped myself. It felt too pathetic.
Giving the gift had been my choice. Whether he ate it or not… that was probably his choice too.
I tried to console myself with my clumsy self-healing, repeating over and over that I was fine.
No, I’m not fine.
The thought struck suddenly. I narrowed my eyes and checked the voucher’s status after all. It was marked as used, and I had no choice but to accept that the ice cream Seoyeon and I were eating right now was the very gift I had given.
Strangely, what came after that realization was disappointment. I had given it to Chaehyun to eat, yet somehow I still felt upset.
I mean… why say those things then? Like suggesting we eat together, or asking what flavor I liked.
And yet, despite everything, I still liked Chaehyun. In the end, I concluded that because I liked him, I hadn’t been able to take his words lightly. He was generally kind to everyone, after all.
And so, it became a one-sided love where I expected nothing.
“Seriously. Why isn’t Yoo Eunsaem going to the same school as me?”
At Chaehyun’s words, Seoyeon’s face quickly fell.
“Who am I supposed to eat lunch with now?”
“You can eat with Chan-seong.”
The moment his name came up, Seoyeon’s eyes widened.
“Park Chan-seong? You think I should still eat with him even in high school? What’s that going to help…?”
“Hey, at least you have Chan-seong. I literally have no one.”
After getting assigned to high school, my emotions had gone through three stages. First, disappointment that I wasn’t going to the same school as Seoyeon. Second, excitement that I would be at the same school as Chaehyun. Third, despair when I realized I wouldn’t have a single close friend.
Could someone like me, with almost no social skills, really make friends before lunchtime on the first day? Everyone would probably already be grouped up with people from the same middle school. I had no confidence.
Just thinking about the future made everything feel bleak, and my shoulders naturally slumped.
“What do you mean no one? You’re acting like I don’t exist. I’m here.”
Chaehyun said it.
Did he mean he’d eat with me? My heart started racing, and I could only blink, but Seoyeon quickly cut in.
“If you hang out with my brother, Eunsaem will have an even harder time making friends!”
Chaehyun and Seoyeon bickered back and forth. In the middle of it, I caught the scent of flowers drifting in with a sudden breeze.
If I said that in my anxious future, I saw a glimmer of hope in Nam Chaehyun, Seoyeon would probably smack me and call me crazy.
Suddenly, I found myself looking forward to the new semester. I tried to hold it in, but a smile slipped out. Lowering my head toward the bouquet, I felt the unnatural smile from earlier finally settle into something real.
At last, high school life began. As I walked to school in my new uniform, it felt like excitement was blooming at every step.
Crossing the school gate, I imagined the playground and everything that would happen here over the next three years.
“I’m so nervous…”
After taking a deep breath, I quickly headed toward my classroom.
Even before first period started, messages from Seoyeon flooded in like a barrage. The main point was that she ended up in the same class as Chan-seong, but he was sitting with another girl, which made her feel threatened.
[Seoyeon: Why does he keep smiling at that girl he just met?]
[Seoyeon: Why are seats arranged by height, seriously]
[Seoyeon: Why is Park Chan-seong short and sitting in the front??]
[Seoyeon: Being tall is a crime, I guess]
Maybe you should just confess to him today.
I was typing that as a reply when I suddenly heard someone shout “Nam Chaehyun!” from outside the classroom. My ears perked up, and my eyes widened.
Nam Chaehyun?
I turned my head immediately. There was no one in the hallway outside the window, so it must have come from the stairs.
My seat was right by the back door. I quietly pushed my chair back, opened the door slightly, and peeked out. Footsteps echoed as someone came up the stairs.
“Hey, what time do you think it is? You’re seriously bold, being late on the first day.”
“Are you the homeroom teacher or something? Stop nagging.”
“I’m the homeroom teacher’s pigeon. You’re getting sent to the office.”
“What? Didn’t you say I went to the bathroom?”
“I did, but still. Just go and make up something. Why were you late anyway?”
Their voices grew fainter as they climbed higher. From the conversation, it seemed Chaehyun had just arrived at school.
Wait… no way. Are we in the same building?
It was already enough that we were at the same school, but realizing we were even in the same building made my heart race uncontrollably.
“I don’t know. Something about Da-eun’s ex-boyfriend waiting for me in front of the school this morning. Who knows where he heard my name.”
That was Chaehyun’s voice. I strained to listen as it faded.
“Cha Da-eun?”
“Yeah.”
“Who’s her ex?”
“How would I know?”
His tone, lacking warmth, felt unfamiliar.
“Wow, seriously. So what did you say?”
“What else? I told him that I am her boyfriend, so he should get lost.”
After that, I couldn’t hear anything more. Honestly, it might have been better if I hadn’t heard it at all.
I sat back down, leaning weakly against my chair.
Who is Cha Da-eun?
Before I could even reply to Seoyeon, still wondering about that name, the classroom door opened and the teacher walked in.
As I looked at the homeroom teacher standing at the front, I found myself imagining Chaehyun, in his uniform, meeting some girl whose face I didn’t even know.
As expected, I couldn’t make any friends, so I spent every break alone. The first break I managed by just sitting at my desk, but after second period, it felt awkward to stay in the classroom, so I wandered around the halls or went to the restroom to kill time.
I never realized how long ten minutes could feel until now, when I had no friends.
[Seoyeon: Who are you eating lunch with?]
On my way to the cafeteria, I got a message from her. If I went right after fourth period, the line would be long. It was already sad enough eating alone, so I left the classroom a bit later to avoid waiting.
[I’m on my way now. Obviously eating alone ^^]
[Seoyeon: Just grab anyone and ask to eat together ㅠㅠㅠ]
Easy for you to say…
[What about you? Did you end up eating with Chan-seong?]
After sending the message, I put my phone in my pocket and looked around the cafeteria while picking up a tray. There were plenty of empty seats, as if a crowd had rushed in earlier and then drained away all at once.
My phone vibrated, but I couldn’t check it while getting food.
“Please give me lots of sausages.”
My eyes lit up at the Vienna sausages, and the server generously piled them on.
“Thank you.”
I bowed my head and moved along. After getting soup, I sat down at an empty table, finally feeling hungry.
“Ah, I’m starving.”
I took a spoonful of soup first. It was egg soup, but maybe I got unlucky because there were fewer eggs than green onions.
After checking that no teachers were nearby, I read Seoyeon’s message.
[Seoyeon: LOL I’m eating with Chan-seong and his seatmate, the three of us LOL]
[Seoyeon: What kind of combo is this?]
I couldn’t help but sigh. That nosy and oblivious Park Chan-seong must’ve dragged his seatmate along, probably thinking they had no one to eat with, just like me.
Good news for that kid who found someone to eat with, but bad news for Seoyeon, who lost her chance to eat alone with Chan-seong.
Chewing on a sausage, I typed:
[Chan-seong is so clueless he’ll probably ask to eat together again tomorrow lol]
I was looking for a fitting emoji when someone sat down across from me, placing their tray on the table. I looked up while chewing—and saw Chaehyun, wearing a knit under his winter jacket.
“O-Op… oppa?”
Like a side character in a morning drama, I nearly spat everything out. I almost dropped my spoon.
“You’re really eating alone?”
Chaehyun sat down. I glanced around, but no one had come with him. It seemed he was alone too.
“Are you eating alone too?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“No, I mean… why are you alone?”
He seemed like someone who would have plenty of friends, not none at all. Was that just my prejudice? Had I asked something rude?
Holding his chopsticks with his long fingers, Chaehyun picked at his food before answering.
“I was a bit late because of counseling.”
“Counseling?”
“Yeah. They’re already doing career counseling at the start of the semester.”
“What about your friends…?”
“They get cranky when they’re hungry. Didn’t feel like waiting.”
“Ah… I see.”
I nodded, and he gestured toward my tray.
“You’re not eating?”
“Oh, I will.”
I moved my spoon again, relieved I hadn’t dropped it earlier.
I felt uneasy. Ever since getting braces, I usually didn’t talk while eating. Maybe because of the discomfort, it just became natural.
I mostly just listened and nodded in conversations. But I didn’t want this moment, eating alone with Chaehyun, to pass in silence.
The variable that always changed my situation… was Nam Chaehyun.
I kept eating, covering my mouth every time I chewed. Somehow, I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to finish my meal.
“What class are you in?”
While we were quietly eating, Chaehyun asked. Like I’d been given a serious question by an adult, I wiped my mouth with a napkin, took a sip of water, covered my mouth, and answered:
“Class 1.”
“Mm.”
He nodded slightly. It felt strange, talking without even properly meeting each other’s eyes.
“Made any friends yet?”
“No… not yet.”
“Are first-years mixed classes this year?”
At that moment, he looked up at me. I met his eyes and nodded.
“Oh, really? I heard they were going to separate boys and girls last year. Guess they changed it.”
“Is separating better?”
At my question, he shrugged.
“Well… if they did, there wouldn’t be any guys talking to you in class.”
Then he smiled as if it were a joke.
…What kind of joke is that?
Am I supposed to laugh? At what part?
I forced an awkward smile and replied that even in mixed classes, that wouldn’t happen anyway.
(To be continued)
