Chapter 8 …
At eleven, I had left home. By the time I graduated middle school, the feelings that had deepened during those years had sunk so low that I couldn’t pull them back up anymore.
What had once been a faint tickle in my chest, something I used to dig at with a shovel, had somehow been excavated deeper and deeper, as if a machine had come in and hollowed it out to the lowest depths, where those feelings were hidden and left to grow. I didn’t even know when that had happened.
“I can’t believe we’re suddenly high schoolers.”
At my friend’s words beside me, I let out a hollow laugh.
“Eun-saem, yours is co-ed, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Lucky. I’m going to an all-girls school. I’m totally doomed.”
She said it with a gloomy face.
“Go date a lot on my behalf….”
She patted my shoulder, cheering me on for something other than studying.
Hearing the word dating, I didn’t know why only one person came to mind. Nothing had even happened, but I felt strangely happy and let out a small laugh.
I was sitting in the classroom, listening to our homeroom teacher’s final closing remarks. Resting my chin on my hand, I gazed out the window when I spotted a tall boy walking down the hallway. Clean-cut and striking. It was Chaehyun.
My eyes widened. I dropped my chin from my hand with a thud against the desk and leaned forward. Chaehyun walked past, holding flowers. Judging by his direction, he seemed to be looking for Seoyeon’s classroom.
Oh. Wow.
This wasn’t the time to be slouching around, wondering what to eat after the graduation ceremony. I immediately pulled out a compact mirror and lip balm from my pocket and applied it.
“You’ve all worked hard. Congratulations on your graduation.”
Some of the classmates who had been especially close with our homeroom teacher were teary-eyed. I had also teared up earlier in the auditorium while singing the school song, and seeing our teacher’s reddened eyes made my throat tighten. But maybe because I was excited to go see Chaehyun, no tears actually fell.
Still, the atmosphere didn’t shift to dismissal like I expected. One by one, the students went up and hugged the teacher. Starting from the front rows, they lined up in order, so it wasn’t like I could skip it.
When the student in front of me stood, I followed. Slowly, I moved forward and hugged the teacher who had always cared about my future and given thoughtful advice.
“Eun-saem, congratulations on your graduation. I still remember you writing that you want to become a good adult. Now that you’re going to high school, you’re a little closer, right? Don’t forget to build strength in your heart. If things get hard or exhausting, contact me anytime. You’re always welcome.”
“Yes, teacher. I’ll miss you.”
Maybe I shouldn’t have said anything. The moment I closed my mouth, my eyes burned.
And then, inevitably, I started crying. Everyone who returned to their seats after hugging the teacher was sobbing too. There was a reason for it.
After the final homeroom ended, with swollen eyes, I took pictures with my friends. One with two of us, one with three, one with five. We moved around, taking tons of photos, and when I stepped out into the hallway, my dad smiled and lightly tapped my nose.
“Why are you crying so much?”
“It’s sad.”
“What’s sad?”
“I don’t know. Goodbyes are just sad.”
Holding the bouquet my mom gave me, I walked down the hall. As I exited the main entrance of the old building, I got a call from Seoyeon.
“Hey, Seoyeon. Where are you?”
—I’m on the field. Did your class finish?
“Yeah, I just came out. Where on the field?”
Holding the bouquet in one hand, I looked around. In the middle of the field, I spotted Nam Seoyeon, just like me, holding her phone and scanning the area.
“Oh! Found you!”
I raised my bouquet high and waved it. Our eyes met. As a bonus, I also made eye contact with Chaehyun, who was standing behind her.
“Hello, ma’am. It’s been a while. Hello, sir.”
Seoyeon bowed politely to my parents.
“Hey, did you cry?”
Nam Seoyeon asked, looking at me.
Could she still tell? I rubbed my eyes with one hand and answered casually, “No?” But from behind me, my mom ruined everything.
“She did. She clung to her teacher and bawled.”
“W-when did I bawl? That’s an exaggeration.”
I nudged my mom, wanting her to go away since I was conscious of Chaehyun watching me from behind Seoyeon, but she didn’t budge at all, probably thanks to all those years of exercising in the park.
“Where are your parents?”
At my question, Seoyeon shook her head as if asking why I even needed to ask, then pointed to Chaehyun behind her.
“Can’t you tell since my brother’s here? They got the date wrong and couldn’t adjust their schedule. They said they’d rush over, but since my brother’s here, I told them not to bother.”
“Really? They must be disappointed.”
“Why? Because they missed the graduation? There’s high school, college… lots more graduations ahead.”
Seoyeon smiled brightly, without a hint of regret.
“Seoyeon, want me to take a picture?”
Chaehyun, who had been standing at a distance, approached and asked.
“Yeah, yeah. Take one of me and Eun-saem.”
Seoyeon immediately stood beside me, linking her arm with mine and resting her head on my shoulder with a smile. She completed the pose and expression in an instant, and as I looked at her in amazement, Chaehyun’s voice came from the front.
“Eun-saem, you should look here.”
At his voice, I turned my head and met his gaze. I was supposed to smile at the camera, but I froze a little, and my stiff lips curved awkwardly.
I saw Chaehyun’s lips curve into a gentle smile behind the camera. That small smile made my heart pound, but at the same time, I felt uneasy.
Am I funny right now? Why is he smiling?
“I’m taking it.”
At his words, I forced my stiff lips into a slightly bigger smile.
“Eun-saem really doesn’t know how to take pictures.”
My mom, who was watching with my certificate tucked under her arm, shook her head and said to my dad.
“Seriously. She needs to practice smiling.”
My dad chimed in. It was clearly a conversation between the two of them, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
“….”
I glared at them quietly. My mom lifted the corners of her mouth and said, “Smile, smile.”
What do you mean? I am smiling….
“Yoo Eun-saem, look here.”
At Chaehyun’s voice, I turned my eyes toward him again. Feeling self-conscious because of what my mom said, I raised the bouquet to cover my lower face.
“I can’t see your face, Eun-saem.”
“…I’ll take it like this.”
At my response, Chaehyun smiled faintly.
“I’m taking it.”
Even with my lips hidden behind the flowers, I gave a small smile.
“Let’s see.”
To check the photo, Seoyeon hurried over to Chaehyun. Curious about just how bad my smile had been, I followed her.
“Ah, Nam Chaehyun, you’re really bad at taking pictures. You should center us. Can’t you even frame it properly?”
Seoyeon grumbled. Looking at the photo, we were slightly off to one side. Seoyeon was at the edge, which made me closer to the center.
Still, Seoyeon looked pretty in the picture. And since my face was half-covered by the bouquet, I didn’t look too bad either. I was fairly satisfied.
“What? Want me to take it again?”
“No thanks. What’s the point if you take it again with those clumsy hands? Where’s Park Chansung?”
Holding the camera, Seoyeon looked around.
“He was in the classroom earlier.”
“Still?”
She pulled out her phone and called him.
“Hey, where are you?”
She walked away while talking, her voice gradually fading.
“Congratulations on your graduation, Eun-saem.”
Chaehyun’s voice came from above me. I quickly looked up and met his eyes.
“Thank you.”
“You’re a high schooler now.”
“Yeah.”
I let out a small laugh, “Hehe.” Then Chaehyun raised his hand and placed it on my head.
“I think you’ve gotten a bit taller.”
At the weight of his hand resting on my head, a shiver ran through my entire body. Was my scalp always this sensitive? It felt like a tingling sensation spreading from my toes upward.
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. You might be as tall as me soon.”
“Excuse me?”
I frowned slightly at the ridiculous statement. He was clearly over 180 cm. Was he serious? At that moment, Chaehyun smirked and withdrew his hand. It was a joke.
Seriously…
I almost narrowed my eyes at him like I do with Park Chansung.
“Oh, you have another camera?”
I pointed at the camera hanging from his wrist.
“Yeah. This one’s a film camera. Want me to take a picture?”
That’s not what I meant, but before I could refuse, he had already lifted the camera and captured me.
Wait, what kind of picture is he taking here?
I blinked, holding the bouquet down, when the flash went off.
“Oh….”
Still stunned, I looked at him as he lowered the camera from his face and gave me a playful smile.
“You’re pretty. I like natural photos.”
“….”
Well, if that’s what he says. Muttering under my breath that he could’ve at least warned me, I glanced at his camera.
“Hey, Chansung’s coming down. Let’s take a picture together when he gets here.”
Seoyeon returned after her call. We waited there for him.
“By the way, which high school are you going to?”
Chaehyun asked me.
“Jieum High School.”
“Huh? That’s my school.”
He sounded surprised. I had known this already and had been so happy about it that the high school I hadn’t even attended yet appeared in my dreams three times a week.
But that happiness didn’t last long. There was a day I went to Seoyeon’s house to cheer her up because she was upset about us going to different schools.
While waiting for the chicken we ordered, I washed my hands and came out of the bathroom when Seoyeon suddenly stopped me.
“Wait! There’s ice cream in the freezer.”
I grabbed two spoons and opened the freezer. Inside was a half-gallon tub of ice cream. The moment I saw it, I recognized it as the gift I had given Chaehyun.
We put it on the table and opened the lid. There was some left inside. Among the flavors was one called Strawberry in Love.
“Let’s eat it before summer ends.”
His words echoed in my ears like a lingering sound.
(To be continued)
