Chapter 12
Russell was walking down the corridor. His steps were steady and unhesitant, as if he had a clear destination in mind.
“Brother, I need to talk.”
Gwen noticed the door suddenly open and saw Russell standing there, looking at him seriously. He let out a short sigh, dipped his pen into the ink bottle, and replied.
“Don’t you see what’s going on? We’ll talk later.”
“This is about Erina.”
At that, Gwen paused mid-motion as he wiped the excess ink from the pen and stopped filling out documents. His eyes, when he turned to look at Russell, were a striking red—just like their father’s.
“You’re not going to say you’re too busy, are you?”
Russell leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed. Gwen clicked his tongue softly, replaced the pen in the ink bottle, and rose from his seat.
“Mind your attitude.”
“You want me to act polite even when there are no servants around? There’s no reason for that. Don’t you know that imposing excessive discipline on a mage lowers efficiency?”
“So, you came here as a mage?”
“No, as the second son of the Marbas Duke family.”
“Then act with decorum. If you maintain proper posture regularly, there will be no disruptions.”
Gwen headed toward the sofa, speaking in a detached tone—but his steps faltered at Russell’s next words.
“Do you realize that your way of thinking is why Erina ended up like this?”
Gwen clenched his fists tightly. After a moment of silence, he turned toward Russell and asked,
“…What exactly are you trying to say?”
“You’ve been given this opportunity, yet all you want to do is handle documents as usual?”
Russell’s lips twisted. His eyes had changed, now resembling those of a reptile: pupils narrowed vertically, shimmering faintly with gold as if dusted with flecks of sunlight.
Dragon’s eyes.
Activating his ability, Russell glared at Gwen. He could see Gwen’s magic wavering under the scrutiny.
“Don’t use your power.”
“I don’t want to.”
“If you’re the son of the Marbas Duke family, maintain your dignity.”
“Damn it! Don’t give me your righteous lecturing!”
Russell strode forward, grabbing Gwen by the collar. His dragon-like eyes glowed with anger, yet Gwen remained composed.
Though faint light shimmered at the tips of Gwen’s fingers, enough to repel Russell, he didn’t move.
“Do you even realize what state Erina is in? Can you focus on your documents with that on your mind?”
If Russell hadn’t said that, Gwen would have thrown him off long ago.
“…What?”
“Do you think everything ends once Erina comes back alive? That because she survived, everything’s fine, and there will be plenty of time to correct our mistakes? Really?”
Russell’s fingertips trembled. The fabric of his clothes groaned under the strain.
“I can’t even bring myself to say I’m sorry—that I vented my childish anger on you—without it feeling like a meaningless gesture. Do you know what Erina said when I apologized? That apologizing itself was strange. That she had always been young, inexperienced, and never satisfied with me! That the older brothers had done nothing wrong!”
Those violet eyes, completely free of suspicion, were etched in Russell’s mind. They were the eyes of truth, saying, “It’s me who was at fault.” Yet they contained nothing but bewilderment.
It was unbearable to meet such a gaze without realizing it was wrong.
Those eyes were a mirror reflecting their sins.
“I don’t know. Even saying ‘sorry’ feels like trying to lessen my own guilt. I don’t know how to atone for Erina, how to prevent her death. But you, brother…!!”
A grinding of teeth followed.
“You cling to documents because you know the way? Huh? Someone like you, our esteemed brother, couldn’t possibly not know. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be wasting time on documents.”
“Russell.”
“Say it with your own mouth! No matter how much I think, how much my head hurts, I don’t know! Tell me how I can even slightly heal Erina’s wounds!”
Russell violently shook Gwen off, yet Gwen’s body remained firm. Only his eyes betrayed him, flickering with uncertainty.
“I thought she was just dead. But no matter how much I thought, I couldn’t understand why Erina was assassinated. Who had the audacity to send an assassin to the Duke family? And why? Do you know what I realized?”
Russell’s lips twisted into a bitter laugh.
“That they knew nothing about Erina.”
They didn’t know if anyone held a grudge against her, what her everyday life was like, whether she had untold stories—nothing.
“And yet they got angry that an assassin broke into the Duke estate? Ha! What a joke. Did they even deserve to get angry? Realizing that it was like hearing someone else had been assassinated—do you know how that felt?”
“….”
“I realized they were worse than others, as family. And if Erina saw me like this, what would she think?”
Russell’s dragon eyes distorted, emotions swirling within: anger, regret, and countless others, deep and heavy.
“Even if she comes back, the guilt doesn’t vanish. She only returned by some inexplicable force; our sins haven’t disappeared.”
“Russell.”
“Do you think you can focus on documents in such a situation, you damned fool!!”
Bang! The sofa shattered. Russell’s raw emotion and dragon eyes caused his magic to flare uncontrollably.
“Are you just going to leave it like this? Is surviving enough? Will it be fine if we just treat her better now?”
“Shut your mouth.”
“Answer me! I don’t know!!”
“I said shut your mouth!!”
Russell gritted his teeth. Gwen had grabbed his shoulders, generating a violent wind that swirled through the room.
“You wouldn’t know! If you did, you wouldn’t be sitting here!”
At Russell’s shout, Gwen froze, his expression stunned. But it lasted only a moment before he scowled and glared at his sibling.
“…What?”
“I said I don’t know.”
Gwen’s hands trembled.
“What am I supposed to say to her? No words reach her. She only says it’s her fault, and I only imposed rules—what right do I have to say sorry?”
Russell’s red eyes mirrored in Gwen’s were filled with a single emotion:
“How dare I not indulge even a single complaint…”
“…Hah.”
Russell flung Gwen’s arm away. Though Gwen could have resisted with ease, his arm fell limp.
“Our illustrious brother, the captain of the Imperial Guard… turned out to be such a coward.”
Russell’s face radiated contempt.
“What right? You think I said sorry because I had the right?”
“Russell.”
“No one has the right. Not me, not you, not even Father.”
The dragon eyes pierced the Imperial Guard captain with scathing reality.
“But if you stay silent, saying nothing, pretending to vanish—does anything change? Does Erina know you’re sorry? Whether she accepts it or not is her choice. But if you don’t even express it, all it says is you want to sweep it under the rug.”
They had no right. They had been indifferent bystanders until Erina was assassinated.
“…I was foolish. An idiot. Pretending to be a mage all this time, just because I could manipulate magic formulas. Was that being smart?”
Russell’s mouth twisted with self-mockery.
“I lived all this time not knowing my own family was cowardly and weak, and called myself a mage… Well, maybe I don’t even have the right to say this.”
Even I had only pushed Erina around. Muttering these words, Russell glared at Gwen with a bitter expression.
“…Do as you wish. Cowardly or not, hiding like a scared animal, I won’t care.”
His eyes returned to normal human form. Turning away from Gwen, he headed toward the door, clearly done with the scene.
“…One more thing I forgot to mention.”
Russell paused, hand on the doorknob. Without looking back, he spoke. Gwen’s eyes followed him.
“I intend to tell Erina some of this, to some extent.”
“…! You…!”
“I’ll convince Father as well. Right now, if Erina doesn’t even know the reasons, she won’t accept our apologies. And it’s us who caused her to be in that state.”
There seemed to be no reason she shouldn’t hear. Muttering this to himself, Russell turned his head.
“So when the moment comes, at least keep your place.”
“….”
“Don’t expect anything. Just comply. Help her accept it.”
Though his tone bordered on threatening, Gwen nodded silently.
“Very well.”
“Good to know you’re not such a coward.”
Russell snorted, smiling wryly, then left the room, clearly unwilling to stay any longer.
