Chapter 11
There’s a seven-year-old child.
Because her mother fell ill and had to be far away, the remaining family paid no attention to her.
A father who was difficult to even see, an eldest brother too busy managing the mansion and its rules to care about the child’s situation, and a second brother who vented his frustration from being separated from their mother on someone younger than him—Erina was raised in this environment.
Did the youngest child grow up normally under such circumstances?
Erina did. To put it positively, she became someone who always agreed with her two older brothers to avoid shattering the thin peace of the household. Put negatively, she was someone gaslit throughout her upbringing.
They had casually dismissed her, saying they were busy with family affairs and honing their magic and had no time to take care of her.
Even young Erina found their reasoning plausible. She could see that they were busy, that they were overwhelmed.
“Not yet. Wait. What do you know? What you demand is trivial, but what we must do is many and important.”
Their words were true. But because of those words, Erina had to endure things she shouldn’t have had to.
And as that became the norm, eventually Erina’s opinions were only half-listened to—it became her daily life.
Of course, the author occasionally depicted Erina’s past in quite some detail, while firmly maintaining the stance that “having an unhappy past doesn’t excuse evil deeds.” I agreed with that stance as well.
Still, knowing that, I could understand Erina’s behavior.
…Not that I wanted to become Erina—not even a little.
Anyway, in this situation, her family regrets their past actions and apologizes to her.
In such a scenario, what is a person inhabiting Erina’s body supposed to do?
“If I were a reader, I’d probably be like, ‘You idiots, you morons!’ and internally censor myself while firing a rapid-fire rap of insults in 64-bit precision…”
But now that I was Erina, the situation had changed. Sure, venting my emotions would feel relieving.
“The problem is that I’d have to deal with the consequences myself.”
From an outsider’s perspective, one could say anything. But now that I was Erina, and I knew I could get assassinated and leave this world in a flash in the future, I had to be careful whenever possible.
“And when the guilty party apologizes first, the worst way to strike them is by getting angry.”
Act naturally, just as Erina normally would. If I acted differently from her, it would arouse suspicion.
A minor change could be excused—blaming it on the effect of her mother’s passing would make it seem plausible enough.
“The Duke may have been indifferent, but Gwen and Russell didn’t pay much attention to Erina either.”
…Thinking this way, the child sitting in front of me looked even more aggravating.
But I’d keep my mouth shut. I shouldn’t ruin the mood in front of someone who was already regretting things. If I played it right, Russell might even drop a hint.
“…Really, mi—”
Russell stopped mid-sentence. It seemed he couldn’t bring himself to say “sorry.”
His red eyes, contorted with regret, shone poignantly, and I couldn’t help but feel an urge to comfort him.
Russell let out a long breath. I thought I sensed moisture in it—was that just my imagination?
“…It’s okay if you don’t understand why I suddenly changed, Erina. The unchanging truth is that I… we… have wronged you for a long time.”
For a moment, it seemed he had gathered his thoughts. His voice hardened as he looked me in the eye and continued.
“I was the one at fault. I… I was young, only thinking of myself… that’s why it happened.”
Russell bit his lip so hard that it bled slightly.
“…Don’t think like that. It’s not like everything was your fault.”
I stayed silent, fiddling with my teacup. In my mind, the phrase “just staying quiet will get you through the middle” kept spinning around.
“…I’ll try.”
Since Russell had remained silent, seemingly waiting for my reply, I gave him the most neutral answer. His expression softened slightly.
“…Okay.”
His voice was strained, almost choked, as he let out another long breath.
“Do you need anything else, Erina? Something uncomfortable, or something you want…?”
“This is enough for now, brother.”
“Alright, I see. Then I’ll take you back to your room.”
As he rose, collecting the mana stones and books, I sighed inwardly and got up.
…Damn it. He looked like he was about to say something, but it just passed like that.
‘Still… there was some gain, right?’
At least I could feel that Russell’s sincerity was genuine.
…Still, given the original story’s events, I couldn’t easily trust or relax.
The hallway was quiet as we walked back, only our footsteps echoing. I sensed Russell’s eyes watching me, but there was no time to care.
“The Duke, Russell… even Gwen… I didn’t speak with Gwen as much, but they all seemed to regret things similarly.”
Though speculative, based on the situation, it seemed the three of them had experienced the same event simultaneously and come to regret the past. And the target of that regret… was Erina, I guess.
“I can’t be certain it’s a time loop, but regret is clear. The question is, what triggered it? And why?”
Could it be that the moment I possessed Erina, the original story went off-track? Or maybe there was some hidden setting the author knew about, and bam! A sudden event triggered the moment I possessed her?
“Who in the world would want that kind of event!”
I felt a murderous impulse toward some unknown entity and sighed inwardly.
“It seems like escaping this house is the best option…”
If it were just her family regretting things, that would be fine—oh! No need to go through the hardships of the original story! I could enjoy that.
But in this world, ridiculous events called awakenings awaited the nobles. And Erina?
“Gaining the lowest-tier appearance-change ability… and Gwen and Russell awakened at fifteen, while Erina only at nineteen.”
In another ordinary family, this wouldn’t have been such a big deal. Awakening through a ritual at nineteen was normal, and even the lowest-tier ability is common among normal people.
The problem was that the comparison was with absurd geniuses. The plight of an ordinary among prodigies.
“Which is why the criticism was harsher. Even the Duke’s family isn’t perfect.”
Thinking of the nobles gossiping about things that weren’t their concern made me angry again. Hah… escape really is the best choice.
Lost in these thoughts, we finally arrived at her room.
Russell placed the mana stones and books on the table, far from the Lintburg egg, and looked at me.
“Then… if you ever need anything, call for me, Erina.”
“I will, brother.”
Russell smiled faintly, but hesitated before leaving.
I watched him, wondering if he had something to say—but it was brief. He dashed down the corridor like he was fleeing.
I sighed, closed the door, locked it, and collapsed onto the bed.
“Ha, this is maddening.”
Even though things seemed better than expected, the future still looked like a mess. My teeth clenched in frustration.
If this were a normal setup, I wouldn’t have to worry so much! No, then maybe I wouldn’t have read this novel? Damn, maybe that would have been better?!
“Author, you bastard!!”
Shouting felt good! Really, the author is a jerk! If it had been less entertaining, none of this would’ve happened! Or no, this is the disaster I brought on myself?!
Had I known, I would’ve smacked my past self and forced her to pick a different hobby!!
Rolling around the bed and punching the sheets in frustration felt useless—they were too soft.
That only made me angrier. I stared at the ceiling and sighed.
“Ha… what’s the point? Reality’s a mess anyway.”
For now, living as Erina, I had to figure out how to avoid the thorny path ahead. What if I tried leaving?
“Without reason? Would my father, who already regrets not doing enough for his daughter, just let me go?”
No, he wouldn’t. And Gwen and Russell would side with him, begging me not to leave, saying it’s all our fault.
“…This is too realistic, it’s creepy.”
Then what? Use my awakening ability? Could I even do that? The rules say no.
“That’s impossible, so skip it.”
Maybe ask the dragon Shrandis remaining on Earth? No, that’s out. Why would a dragon grant human requests? Why is it even still here?
“Also impossible…”
Then what’s left? I racked my brain.
“Ah!! There’s one!”
A thought struck me like lightning, and I jumped up.
“I could become a cleric!!”
Not new, but there were temples and clerics in this world too. They served the dragons who ascended to the heavens, serving those still on Earth, following doctrines.
It was also the organization the saint and the original heroine belonged to.
“Yes! Then I wouldn’t need to perform the awakening ritual, wouldn’t be crushed by noble gossip… and I wouldn’t have any conflicts with the heroine!”
As a cleric, I could choose whether to marry or not. Declaring no marriage means no entanglement with any male lead candidates!
If I ran to the temple for strict training, even the only Duke family in the empire wouldn’t dare touch me!
Eureka! I clenched my fist and made up my mind.
Alright! I’ll renounce the world! I’ll become a cleric!!
