~Chapter 86~
“That is…”
I looked at Emily in surprise.
I never expected her to suddenly offer to listen to my worries.
I bit my lip. Should I really share them with her?
My head was so tangled that maybe telling someone would help…
“…Alright. Will you listen to my worries?”
After some silence, I smiled faintly and nodded.
Maybe because I ran into her in this unexpected place, I felt strangely at ease. I wanted to talk naturally.
It even reminded me of the sister I once met in my past life—when I went alone to see the sea.
[You’ve been sitting here for a while. Are you okay?]
The older sister who had first listened to my troubles—the one I loved.
Phew.
I exhaled, pushing away the fleeting image of my sister.
When I looked at Emily again, her steady brown eyes were on me.
I began to speak slowly, facing her gaze.
“The truth is… I am destined to die soon, Emily.”
I told Emily everything that had been weighing on me.
That I had been receiving treatment for a long time due to the side effects of mana.
That recently I was given only a limited time to live, and that I had started refusing treatment.
Even the conflicts that arose because of it.
Of course, I didn’t mention that this was a novel’s world or that I knew my fate because I had read it.
When I finished, Emily’s eyebrows furrowed as she wore a serious expression.
“Hmm…”
“I know this must sound strange. I also know you might not understand why I don’t want to live.”
I continued, watching her solemn face.
“Because what I’m doing now goes against human instinct. I’m trying to choose against survival.”
But to me, the time spent struggling to live through treatment felt wasted.
I knew from experience in my past life—
How much pain and endless hours came with fighting illness.
Even after enduring all that “hope torture,” in the end, death still came.
In my final moments, I had thought— What if I had done what I wanted instead of clinging to that faint hope of recovery? Would I have had no regrets then?
If only I had traveled, eaten what I wished, and met the people I wanted to meet… maybe I could’ve died without regrets.
I just didn’t want to feel that same helplessness and regret again.
Since death was already coming, and it was certain, I didn’t want to waste my remaining energy merely dragging on life.
“…No. I understand.”
Emily shook her head and answered seriously.
“I can’t claim to fully understand. But…”
“…?”
“Everyone has a different level of attachment to life. Some want to hold on longer, some less.”
Her cautious words made me stare at her quietly.
“…That’s… touching. No one has ever told me that before.”
Emily was the first to say she understood.
Even Eric had only respected my wishes silently, never adding such words.
I was moved, gazing at her—when she continued.
“But, if I may give you one piece of advice…”
She hesitated, then spoke carefully.
“Lady, are you absolutely certain you will die within a year?”
“…What?”
I opened my eyes wide. Emily’s smile gleamed as her eyes sparkled.
“Maybe you won’t die a year from now, as you expect.”
“That’s…”
Because I had read it in the novel—Irene was supposed to be terminally ill, with one year left.
Though in the story, she was executed before even reaching that time…
Suddenly, I realized something.
I had never actually read Irene’s death within a year—it wasn’t directly written.
“Even if you really did come from the future, even if you think you know it 100%, the future can change endlessly depending on your choices and your will now.”
“….”
“So please don’t give up everything by being so sure of death.”
Emily’s expression was full of sincerity.
“Isn’t it more important how you see your life? Whether you want to leave or stay. What things you’d miss if you left. That kind of thing.”
“….”
Her words struck me like a blow. I just stared blankly at her.
Then Emily glanced at the time and gasped, jumping up.
“Oh no! It’s already this late. If I go back too late, the head maid will scold me. Hehe. I have to go now.”
She quickly gathered her things and stood.
I silently watched her.
Just before leaving, Emily turned back and added one last thing.
“Lady, there’s no such thing as a future that’s 100% certain. There’s always room for twists and turns. Please remember that.”
“….”
“And… you’ve really worked hard until now. I can’t imagine how painful it’s been, but I’m sure it was very difficult. I want to tell you that, at least.”
With those words, Emily bowed her head, as if she truly was running late.
“Then, I’ll really be going. I’m so glad we met like this. Let’s meet again next time!”
Emily hurried out of the coffee house.
“….”
I sat there for a long while, lost in thought.
“Hmmm…”
All the way back to the mansion in the carriage, I was deep in thought.
Thanks to Emily, the uneasy emotions that had been swirling in me since clashing with my parents had calmed a little.
But instead, my head was now full of the advice she had given me.
[Lady, are you absolutely certain you will die within a year?]
[Please remember—there’s always room for a twist.]
Emily had truly given me the words I needed most.
In truth, I had never actually seen Irene’s illness worsen until she died a year later.
Because in the story, Irene was executed by Albert long before that.
I had just accepted it blindly—because the novel said she was terminal and would die within a year.
But… could Irene’s life also have such a twist?
If she tried, could there really be even the smallest chance for her to live?
Hearing Emily’s words made me realize—I might have been too trapped in the original story.
As she said, the future had already changed so much depending on my choices.
But still…
“…”
I let out a faint laugh.
“…Twists like that only happen to the protagonists.”
If there was one thing I knew for certain, it was that Irene wasn’t the heroine.
She was only a villainess. There could never be a twist in her fate.
“…Feels like I’ve only ended up with a more complicated heart.”
I sighed. Maybe I shouldn’t have even shared my worries.
My heart was calmer now, but my head felt like it would burst.
Then suddenly, a thought struck me.
“But… how could she give such perfect advice?”
Emily had given me advice that fit me exactly.
It was strange. There was something uncanny about her.
The way she seemed to know my habit of running off whenever I was troubled.
The way her words matched so well, even though I had never told her about transmigration or the novel.
And those fleeting sparkles in her eyes when she looked at me…
Emily felt as if she knew something.
