Chapter : 51
Whenever those thoughts crossed my mind, I shook my head violently to dismiss such a possibility.
There was no way the male lead and the female lead—the very core of a romance fantasy novel—would ever be swapped.
Calix’s feelings for me were bound to last only until the heroine arrived.
In fact, once Calix became emperor, he grew even busier than when he was crown prince.
So, he no longer appeared along my walking paths.
Of course, that didn’t mean I never saw him just because he didn’t show up during my strolls.
Instead, Calix ordered me to change my walking route to the imperial palace.
And since it was the emperor’s command, I had no choice in the matter.
Even if he didn’t kill me, he was still the emperor now.
And there was another reason I couldn’t resist his orders—Rajiv’s presence, whose very face reminded me of Calix.
Having almost fully recovered and returned to duty, Rajiv never left my side when I went out for walks—he didn’t stay a ten rota away, not even one rota.
Sometimes when the wind blew my hair about, he became so anxious—as if I might get blown away—that he would stand in front of me to block the wind.
The incident where I threw myself into a spear had apparently turned not only Calix but even Rajiv into someone who saw me as “foolish Caelyn.”
About fifteen days after Father had left for Aolium, as I once again headed to the imperial palace under Rajiv’s suffocating protection, I felt unbearably weighed down.
That day, Calix had invited me for lunch.
If I had to eat while staring into his honey-dripping eyes, I’d surely choke.
And if I did choke and feel sick, Calix—along with Rajiv—would no doubt order the food to be cleared away.
So I had no choice but to eat well and digest properly.
With heavy steps, I finally arrived and waited for Calix in the dining room of the emperor’s main palace.
But no matter how much time passed, he didn’t appear—probably caught up with pressing matters.
With nothing to do, I struck up a conversation with Rajiv.
“Sir Rajiv, how long do you plan on staying at my side like this? Isn’t it time you returned to the knight order? You were excused until now because of your recovery, but you’re fully healed now….”
Shouldn’t he be serving properly with that body, instead of guarding someone like me?
“His Majesty’s command to guard you remains unchanged. And I also consider it an honor to protect you, my lady.”
“But I’m not in danger, nor do I plan on running away….”
That’s when it happened.
“Yes, that’s a good idea.”
Calix suddenly appeared, saying that as he sat down at the table. Flustered, I addressed him without even giving him the proper imperial greeting.
“Ah, Your Majesty… right? Since Sir Rajiv has recovered, why not just let him stay on at the imperial palace knight order now that we’re here….”
But before I could finish, Calix cut in.
“Excellent idea. Rajiv, Caelyn says you should do just that.”
Rajiv looked startled, glancing between the two of us.
But faced with Calix’s calm expression, he eventually replied in a small yet firm voice.
“Understood, Your Majesty.”
Ah, finally. Things were beginning to fall back into place.
Relieved at seeing Rajiv officially return to the palace, I felt my heart ease.
It was best to gradually lessen the ties between Calix and myself.
If I awkwardly lingered between the male and female lead and messed up the story, it would be bad both for them and for me, who just wanted to live quietly.
Satisfied with the situation, and with appetizers beginning to be served as Calix sat down, I couldn’t help but smile.
“Caelyn, are you that happy?”
Calix asked me.
Happy? About what?
Did he mean because of the food?
“Ah, yes! The appetizers look delicious.”
I pointed at the scallop and grilled shrimp dish drizzled with sauce.
“Appetizers? No, that’s not what I meant. I asked if you’re happy to be entering the palace.”
Entering the palace? What was he talking about?
Who was entering the palace?
“Who’s…? Ah! You mean because Sir Rajiv is entering the palace? Of course. He’s wasted just sticking by me—he belongs at Your Majesty’s side.”
“What are you talking about? Rajiv already belongs to you, my future empress. Rajiv entering the palace means you are entering the palace.”
“!!!!!!”
I was struck speechless.
Rajiv entering the palace means I am entering?
Wait a second!
What was he saying!
Was this… a marriage proposal?!
“Then, as soon as Chancellor Brockburk returns, we’ll hold the wedding.”
“Wait a moment!”
Why was this happening?!
All I needed to do was endure until Estelle fell in love with Calix. Marriage wasn’t part of the plan!
He was supposed to marry Estelle, not me!
As soon as Chancellor Brockburk returned, the wedding should be between Calix and Estelle—not me!
“?”
Calix stared at me with wide eyes after my sudden outburst.
“Marriage? But soon there might appear someone who truly loves Your Majesty… and yet you say marriage with me?”
But the moment I spoke those words, I regretted them.
Because Calix’s expression hardened instantly.
It was the first time since reuniting in Everen that I’d seen such a grim look on his face.
Clear anger shadowed his features.
Seeing it, a long-forgotten fear surged back into me.
I had spoken wrongly.
I had let my guard down.
“Caelyn, you love me enough to take a spear in my stead. And yet you say someone else could love me more than you? Do you really think that’s possible?”
Of course it was possible! Absolutely!
I hadn’t taken that spear out of love at all!
Oh no, had I just shot myself in the foot?
Was all my devoted acting now coming back as a marriage boomerang?
Even if I had admitted that saving him was just a mistake, the fact would remain—I had saved him.
Had I been too greedy?
“It might not be easy, but… it’s possible that…”
“No, Caelyn. It’s impossible. And for me, meeting someone I love more than you is impossible. Because even the emotions I feel for you now are already beyond my control. Do you understand?”
The way he asked “Do you understand?” sounded like a menacing threat.
And what if I didn’t understand? What then?
“Your Majesty, no one can know the future. Even if your heart feels that way now, it could change later.”
I spoke carefully, but his expression only grew more severe.
“Leaving aside your attempt to sacrifice yourself for me—before that, you had already promised to marry me. Are you saying you now intend to break the promise you made to me, the crown prince who is now the emperor?”
That damned sacrifice talk again. How long would it haunt me?
I had thought it would be a card I could use endlessly, but instead it felt like he was using it as leverage against me.
And wait—when exactly had I promised to marry him?
Perplexed by his attitude, as if this were a matter of obvious duty and right, I blurted:
“I never promised…!!!!”
Oh!!!
I had.
Suddenly, I remembered.
That day I had begged Calix to spare my father’s and brother’s lives, just before the news of war broke. In my desperation, I had agreed to his marriage demand.
Yes. I had said it.
At the time, it had been out of sheer panic, and I had assumed once I survived, Estelle would appear, fall in love with him, and render my words meaningless.
But Calix had clearly taken it as a binding, absolute promise.
Yes, I had promised him.
I had just forgotten.
Now, sitting at a tense dining table, I wracked my brain, searching for a way out of this situation.
I had survived, and the male lead loved me.
So maybe living happily ever after with him wasn’t the worst fate.
Besides, just look at the man sitting across from me.
Calix Everetian.
The perfect male lead, crafted from my very tastes.
How beautiful he was—living up to the very name “a beautiful man.”
If I set aside the negative fact that he could have killed me, then objectively and rationally, he was flawless.
His once dark, cold, antisocial personality had somehow brightened, become warm, even sociable.
Of course, traces of the character I had written still lingered. He could still appear stern, cold, and dangerously intense. But as an emperor, wasn’t a touch of charisma to be expected?
The real problem was that this was still the novel I had written—and I wasn’t the heroine.
And in just a few days, the yet-to-appear heroine would finally arrive in Everen.
Then would come the destined love between hero and heroine.
Thinking rationally and logically, no matter how much of my type the male lead was, no matter how dazzling… I didn’t love him. So why meddle, making things complicated?
My life had only just begun finding peace again. If I got involved, I’d only be fanning the flames that could destroy it.
If I interfered in their destined romance, I might end up not with a kind husband and a happy marriage, but as the divorced former empress.
But what I dreamed of was a safe, peaceful marriage.
The perfect man before me was, in truth, a dangerous threat to that peace.
As Calix continued staring at me with those fierce eyes I hadn’t seen in a long time, I cautiously opened my mouth.
