Chapter 8 – The Final Prayer
It had already been a week and a day since the child had begun staying with the 32nd Infantry Battalion.
In that time, perhaps because of the waves caused by Sergeant Hermann’s actions, the child had become something of a well-known figure within the military camp. No one dared enter the tent where the Major stayed, but every so often Sasha would overhear passing soldiers whispering among themselves.
“Taking in a child from the enemy… What on earth is the Major thinking?”
“Who knows. His expression is always the same, so it’s impossible to tell what he’s thinking.”
“…But isn’t that kid bored? How come they never step outside even once?”
“They’re just shy. I heard the bombardment wiped out their family and home. The shock was so great they can’t even speak. Even if the kid’s from the enemy side, it’s still pitiful. That’s probably why the Major took them in.”
“Do you really think so? Feels calculated to me. Like he’s saying, ‘Look how generous I am.’ Just wait until the war ends and we return. The Major might become Salvador’s spiritual pillar like the others and even step into politics. At least the kid’s a boy. No chance of a scandal.”
“Ha! True. If the kid were a girl, that’d be real trouble.”
Laughter followed the lighthearted remark.
At the sound, Sasha froze, pressing an ear against the thick fabric separating the tent from the outside.
“Ah, right. Look at me. Things have been quiet these past few days, and I forgot to throw out the medical waste bags. Let’s go quickly.”
“Yeah, we shouldn’t be standing around here. Let’s get back to work.”
The footsteps of three people faded away. They sounded like some of the few field nurses who had cared for Sasha when she collapsed from exhaustion at the field hospital.
Sasha lowered her head and stomped lightly at the ground for no particular reason.
They don’t know anything. They don’t know anything about the Major.
The child repeated that thought over and over, until a weak doubt crept in—perhaps the one who knew nothing was herself.
She had spent only a week and a day with him.
What would happen if she revealed that she was actually a girl?
The thought came inevitably. That was precisely why she was afraid to say anything too quickly. Having nowhere to go—having no one she could completely rely on—having to carefully judge whether someone would truly stand on her side… all of that was far too heavy and sorrowful for a child.
No… Even if the Major refused to take me in after learning I’m a girl, I wouldn’t be able to blame him.
That was only natural. Sasha had already received a great kindness from him.
Then what should she do?
Unable to find an answer, Sasha wandered around the tent for a long while.
At last, she clenched her two small fists and made up her mind.
For now, I’ll try to become a useful child.
So today as well, Sasha began cleaning the monotonous tent. No matter how much she swept and wiped, gray dust kept settling on places like the drawers because of the dirt outside.
While wiping a drawer, she noticed photographs and letters tucked inside a small gap.
After hesitating for a moment, curiosity won. Sasha opened the drawer a little wider.
The elegant light-brown envelope bore a sealing wax stamp decorated with an ornate rose pattern.
Is this what they call a family seal?
After fiddling with the wax for a few moments, Sasha noticed the photographs beneath it.
In the gray-toned photograph, a noblewoman with silver hair braided down her back sat gracefully in an ornate chair. Beneath her legs lay a large dog.
The background showed the interior of a grand and luxurious mansion—red carpet covering the floor, golden-hued walls, and a chandelier hanging above.
Wow…
Sasha gasped silently, her eyes shining.
It was another world entirely. She had never seen a chandelier like that, a red carpet like that, or even a noblewoman posing so elegantly for a photograph.
Am I going to a place like this?
Can I really leave my family behind—the family who died protecting me—and go there alone?
Suddenly the memory surfaced: her family collapsing while holding her, gray dust rising with white smoke from the aftermath of the bombardment.
The more Sasha revisited those memories, the more her body stiffened. Eventually she collapsed to the floor, clutching her trembling hands tightly.
How was she supposed to remember—and endure—the moment when time could not be reversed and her loved ones were taken from her?
Sasha closed her eyes as if enduring something, swallowing repeatedly. She had thought she had let many things go while staying beside her dead family… but perhaps that wasn’t true.
Would the day ever come when she could return to Inferna?
The thought filled her with uncertainty and dread about the path ahead.
“…Sasha?”
A low voice suddenly called out.
Startled, Sasha trembled and turned around. The Major was standing behind her.
For a moment she stared blankly at him—then suddenly realized what she had done.
She had touched and looked through someone else’s belongings without permission. That was the sort of behavior that could make anyone uncomfortable.
I’m sorry.
Her lips moved silently, and then she realized again that no voice would come out. Hurriedly she pulled out her notebook. In her fluster, the notebook and pen slipped from her hands and clattered onto the ground.
Just as Sasha dropped to her knees to pick them up—
“Honestly, what are you doing?”
At the sound of his deep sigh, Sasha tightened her grip on the notebook.
Why am I always so pathetic? At this rate, instead of becoming useful to the Major, I’ll only make him hate me.
Her vision blurred with tears that had gathered in her eyes. Just then she noticed a shadow growing darker over her lowered gaze.
“Up you go.”
The Major slipped his hands under Sasha’s arms and lifted her lightly, setting her down on the bed.
“Sasha.”
The Major, who had returned early for the first time in a while, spoke more gently than usual. At first she had thought he was someone who only knew how to say harsh things—but that wasn’t true after all.
Even so, Sasha couldn’t lift her head.
If she looked at his face, she felt like she might start acting spoiled.
Most people didn’t like children who clung to them. That was why Sasha wanted to become someone truly necessary to him.
“…For a child who spent her whole life in Inferna, leaving behind the memories of her family must be quite difficult.”
Startled, Sasha looked up at the Major, who spoke as though he had seen straight through her heart.
“Even for me, leaving my hometown felt unsettling. So for you, it must be even more so.”
He bent one knee and sat down so that his eyes were level with hers.
His expression remained as indifferent as ever while he spoke words of comfort. The Major seemed to be someone who rarely showed emotion.
Strangely, that made Sasha’s heart even more unsettled.
Because she could tell that he was trying—trying to comfort her, trying to say things he normally never would.
She had tried to hold back, but tears forced their way out.
Whenever she was beside him, she found it impossible to stop them.
“You won’t be able to return to Inferna until the war ends. No one knows how long it will take before you can come back here. But there’s one thing I can promise. I’ll do my best so that a world where Inferna and Salvador can travel between each other comes as soon as possible.”
Some words, the moment they were heard, felt as though they would never be forgotten.
For Sasha, these were such words.
She leaned her face against the Major’s chest. Her endless tears threatened to burst into loud sobs, but the tent remained quiet except for her faint sniffles.
A world without family and without a home was cold.
In that cruel reality, Sasha had been withering away among corpses, unable to go anywhere.
Without even a handful of hope, she had simply waited for the day she would join her family in the sky.
But in rainy Fors, on that day—
her eyes had met those of a strange man with ash-gray eyes.
Like beasts who understood one another without words, they had exchanged a silent greeting devoid of sorrow.
That was why she hadn’t run away.
Some foolish hope had stirred inside her—that perhaps he would save her.
And in the end, he hadn’t been able to leave the child behind.
He had taken her in, and now he was even trying to take responsibility for her.
How could Sasha ever repay such kindness?
If only she could speak.
If she could say it not through writing, but through words filled with her true feelings—that she wasn’t actually a boy, but a girl.
It felt as though everything would be resolved if she could only say that.
For the first time, losing her voice felt unbearably frustrating.
She wanted to sift through countless words and choose only the most beautiful ones to give to him.
“……”
While Sasha cried, the Major said nothing.
He only patted the child’s small back.
Now she understood—that was the best comfort he could offer.
Sasha remained in his warm embrace for a long time.
And she prayed to the god who held Inferna’s devotion.
Please… don’t take the Major away from me. At least not him. Please, not him.
Since childhood, Sasha had prayed every night according to Inferna’s tradition.
But after losing everything that day, she could no longer help doubting whether God truly existed.
Most of all, she had wanted nothing while staying beside her dead family.
For several days, she had not prayed even once.
Which meant that if God truly existed, this prayer had to be answered.
It was Sasha’s final prayer.
Perhaps because of that selfish wish, she still could not reveal the secret she had kept buried inside.
