Chapter : 04
Two prison guards walked down the dim corridor and stopped in front of my cell door. One of them unlocked it.
“Number 1555.” “Yes.” “You have a visitor. Come out.” “A visitor?” “Yeah.” “Wh-who came to see me?” “You’ll know when you go out.” “But why did both of you come?” “It’s protocol. Get out, fast.”
I stood up on shaky legs. The air outside the cell was cold and damp.
“Is it really a visitor?” “I told you it’s a visitor.” “Who is it? Please, tell me.” “I told you, you’ll know when you get out.”
I had a premonition of my execution. No one had ever come to visit me until now. My mother had visited a few times when I was first locked up here. I remembered those days.
“-Do-sik…”
My mother would call my name and cry. Every time I saw her tears, my heart ached.
“-The older brothers are treating you well, right?”
The “brothers” I was talking about were the organization members. But I realized then how truly foolish I had been. What had those bastards, who never once came to visit, ever done for my parents?
“-Do-sik…”
Again, my mother’s voice trembled.
“-Next time you are born, meet rich, good parents and live a kind life. I will always pray for that, your mother.”
At her words, I bit my lip hard. Her words struck my heart like a dagger. Her prayers were heavier than my crimes.
“M-mom… when I die, please don’t cry too hard.” “-I, I will…” “Don’t come again. Please. At least for as long as you live, live without having your heart ache.” “-Do-sik…” “Really, don’t come. Don’t worry about me and live a healthy life.” “-I understand… I understand…” “Mom.” “-Why?” “I love you. Truly.” “-I… I love you too, Do-sik…”
After that day, my mother never came to visit. But today, they said there was a visitor. So, it was certain that today was my last day.
“Number 1555. What are you doing? Not coming out?” “Yes. I’m coming.”
As I stepped out of the cell, the guard cuffed my arms and closed the cell door. I had an ominous feeling and reflexively looked back at the cell.
“Wait a moment.” “Why?” “Just a moment. Please.” “What is it?” “Just a moment is enough.”
I said that and looked inside the cell. At this moment, ironically, I thought that this small cell that kept me locked up was actually the only space that protected me. The cell felt like hell, but at the same time, it was the only place in the world where I was still alive.
“Thank you.” “What?” “And I’m sorry for acting like a maniac every dawn.”
At my words, the two guards were startled and reflexively gripped my arms tightly from both sides.
“What are you talking about? It’s a visitor.” “No, I know.” “Know what?” “I know what day today is.” “Hey, 1555. Pull yourself together.” “So, just a moment. Please. There won’t be time to say this if not now.” “It’s a visitor, a visitor. Let’s go.” “If you have something to say, just say it when you visit.” “Who is the visitor? Please, tell me.” “…” “Why won’t you answer?” “You’ll know when you get out.”
I struggled and looked at the prisoner inside the cell.
“I was wrong. Please forgive me. I’m sorry for acting like a maniac every night.”
Then, the prisoners who had never even made eye contact with me until now looked at me. And one prisoner stood up and approached the cell door.
“Be born kindly next time.” “1513. What are you saying?”
The guard shouted.
“You forgive me, right?” “Yes. I’ll forgive you.” “Really?” “Really. I would have done the same if I were you.” “Thank you. Thank you so much.” “And…” “Yes?” “Go in peace.”
The prisoner said, looking at me. At that moment, I felt as if all my sins were being washed away. That one sentence was deeper than any confession, and it was the first time I had received “forgiveness” in my life.
“Number 1555. Let’s go.”
There was a slight tremor in the guard’s voice, too.
“Understood.”
I slowly turned around with my trembling legs. And I dragged my feet slowly toward the end of the corridor where the light was coming in.
“Number 1555.” “Yes.” “Are you okay?” “Yes. I’m okay.” “…” “But, guard.” “Why.” “Thank you for everything until now.” “…What are you talking about?” “I’m just saying thank you.”
Then the iron door opened. At that moment, my lips trembled as if they were having a seizure.
“Just a moment.” “Why.” “Let me take a deep breath.” “…Alright.”
I looked at the open iron door. Hoo. I took a deep breath and looked at the iron door again. And along with the two guards, I crossed the iron door that felt like a death line. The intense sunlight didn’t feel like winter. The hexagonal rays of light beat down on my head, and I frowned at the light.
“The weather is warm.” “Yeah. The weather is nice today.” “I’m thankful for that. That my last day is warm.” “…Hey, number 1555.” “Yes.” “What are you saying, what’s this about a last day?” “Just because.”
Ironically, that warm sunlight felt like it was for my last moments.
◆ ◆ ◆
December 30, 2007.
I stood in the cold air of the execution chamber. The execution chamber is an old, one-story building in a corner of the prison. I only learned today that the building was one-story. I hadn’t tried to know, nor did I want to.
“Number 1555. Come in.” “Yes.” “Sit here.” “Yes.”
The execution was very simple. It was structured to tie the prisoner to a chair, put a noose around their neck, and then drop the chair into the basement. It seems Korea’s execution method is hanging. A prosecutor, a prison guard, a priest, and a doctor were present.
“Number 1555, Kang Do-sik. Is this you?” “Yes.” “Confirming your date of birth.” “March 15, 1975.” “Confirmed.”
The procedure for my execution began. The room was filled with a heavy silence, even the sound of breathing felt suppressed. Only the sound of the clock ticking cruelly divided the time. The priest stood in front of me.
“Mr. Kang Do-sik.” “Yes.” “God forgives all sinners.” “…” “Even at this moment, God’s love is with you.” “Really?” “It is.” “Even for a guy like me?” “God does not abandon anyone.” “…Thank you.” “Would you like to pray one last time?” “Yes.” “Then let’s pray together.”
The priest took my hand.
“God. Please forgive this sinner. And please open the gates of heaven. Amen.” “Amen.”
The priest’s sermon and prayer ended. The guard cautiously asked me.
“Do you have any last words?”
At that moment, tears streamed down my face.
“Yes. I do.” “Please speak.” “To the three people who died because of me… I am finally going to ask for forgiveness.” “…” “And please tell my mother I am sorry.” “I understand. Is there anything else?” “Yes. And…”
For a moment, I choked up and couldn’t continue.
“Take your time.” “Even if it’s the organs of a murderer… if they can be accepted… please use them for a good cause.” “I understand.” “And thank you to those who have cared for me during this time. That is all.”
I dropped my head and shed tears like drops of rain. In fact, I had already decided to donate my organs after death and donate my body for dissection. Of course, I had done that without meaning it, just to get my sentence reduced to life imprisonment. But now, at this moment facing death, I thought that pledging that donation was the best thing I had ever done. Since I hadn’t done a single kind or good thing in my life, I thought at least I could do something good after I died. For the first time, the fact that my name could potentially save someone else’s life gave me comfort. When my last words were finished, some of the guards shed tears for me sincerely.
“Guard.” “Why.” “Thank you for crying for me.” “…” “In the 32 years I’ve lived, the only person who cried for me was my mother.” “…Stop it.” “But you guards are crying for me too.” “I told you to stop.” “Thank you. Truly.”
I realized it at this moment. I should have lived for the people who cry for me, instead of living while making others shed blood and tears. Of course, realizing that just before dying was of no use. The guard standing in front of me put a hood over my face and whispered quietly in my ear.
“It won’t take long.” “Yes.” “Go to heaven.” “…Thank you.”
At the guard’s words, I shivered and slowly nodded. And the guard stepped aside. At that moment, although I had accepted all death, my whole body was trembling.
“Prisoner number 1555, name Kang Do-sik, execution to be carried out.”
Finally, the guard’s death sentence fell. The executioner approached me and put the hood over my head. And he put the noose around my neck.
“Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!”
I kept shouting Hallelujah to forget the fear of death.
“Execute.”
The executioner’s heavy voice reached my ears. Beep~ I heard the sound of a button being pressed. Clunk! Creak! Snap! My body fell directly into the basement, and the rope around my neck was pulled taut.
“Ha, Hal… Keke!”
I shouted Hallelujah until the very moment my last breath was cut off. As my breath cut off in my throat, it was pushed out into the void. It was as if my torn prayer was spitting out all the air in the world.
-You will be saved.
At the moment my breath was about to cut off, I heard a sound like an auditory hallucination. That was how I ended my short life of 32 years.
But that was not the end of life, but a new beginning. At the moment all light vanished from my eyes, a bright light filled my eyes along with intense pressure. The light was pure to the point of being stinging, and all pain stopped for a moment within it. Heaven for the saved must be this bright. And it must be this warm too.
◆ ◆ ◆
On a boring, ordinary afternoon, a man ran into the road in a hurry without even looking at the moving cars. Screech! Bang! The car driving down the road braked suddenly, but could not avoid the person who had jumped out suddenly and hit them. The man who ran into the crosswalk. That was me. Like that, I was hit by the car, flew about 10 meters, and fell to the ground. The moment I fell to the asphalt, a dull friction sound rang out, and the blood flowing from my head soaked the asphalt road heated by the sun. Time slowed down, and the sensations in my body separated piece by piece. All the sounds of the world drifted away, and only a single heartbeat pounded in my ears. I reached out my hand, trembling on the asphalt, as if asking for help from someone. And with unfocused eyes, I saw the faces of two people hurriedly getting out of the car. Only their shapes were faintly visible, and their outlines swayed like waves in the light.
“Boss! He jumped out suddenly.” “I saw it too. Don’t panic, check the condition of the person hit by the car first!”
Even in this urgent situation, the middle-aged man acted very calmly.
‘What kind of people are they to be so calm?’
“He’s still alive. But he’s bleeding too much…” “Enough, call an ambulance quickly!” “Yes, boss!” “No. That might be too late. Just put him in the car.” “Put him in the car? Today is the inauguration ceremony for the Daemyung Construction president, isn’t it?” “Inauguration? A person is about to die, and the inauguration is the problem? Get him in, fast!” “We’ll be late for the inauguration if we move him by car.” “So what if we’re late? Would that be better if this person died? Cancel the inauguration!” “B, boss!” “I’m the president even if I don’t have an inauguration ceremony. If I say cancel it, then cancel it!” “Yes, I understand.” “Move quickly. Every minute is critical.”
At that moment, I was shocked to hear a name I was all too familiar with.
‘Kim… Daemyung…’
That name made my heart stop. It was definitely the name of the man I had intended to end at the threshold of death.
‘Why… here…’
And as I lost consciousness, I couldn’t understand why I was here at this time and why I had been in this car accident.
‘It’s not… a dream.’
With that thought, I finally lost consciousness.
End Of Chapter : 04
