– Chapter 8 –
“Rinea. I was wrong.”
The day after that woman visited, Kadil came to Rinea, who wouldn’t even look him in the eye, and begged endlessly.
“It was just a one-time mistake with her. I was drunk, and she suddenly… No, no. That’s no excuse. I should just apologize. I’m sorry. You are incomparable to her. You are that important and precious to me.”
“…”
“I’ve already broken things off with her. Rinea, you’re the only one for me. The only one I’ve known since childhood. I should’ve waited until you grew up. I should’ve waited until we could be properly married. I was just too…”
“She said…”
Rinea finally opened her mouth, her voice heavy.
“She said… she’s pregnant.”
“…”
“Is it true?”
“Rinea, no matter what happened, the fact that I love you hasn’t changed…”
“Is it true?”
Sweat began to form on Kadil’s forehead. He bowed his head.
“…Yes.”
“How could you?”
“Rinea, please listen to me.”
“You said you were too busy to visit me, and instead, you were making a child with her? Was meeting her more important than coming to see me? I—”
“Rinea, please don’t get emotional. You’re being too irrational.”
Rinea clutched her trembling hand with the other to stop the shaking.
“I’ve only seen her twice. Once half a year ago, and then recently… What I did to you is unforgivable. But please understand. I’m going to marry you. You’re the only one for me, Rinea.”
“I’m sure you told her the same thing.”
“No! You’re my fiancée. She was just someone I happened to meet. It’s completely different.”
Was it really?
Inside Rinea, the part of her that wanted to believe Kadil battled fiercely with the part of her screaming to face reality.
What about the Kadil she’d known? The man who was devoted to her, who was the first to believe in her. Was she going to lose someone like that over this? But still… But Kadil wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t…
Kadil looked at her with desperate eyes and spoke.
“Rinea, I’ll be with you no matter what. I’m sorry for delaying the proposal. I’ll propose to you on your birthday.”
“…”
Yes, she wasn’t marrying just for Kadil. It was also to escape this hellish household.
Would she just be moving from one hell to another? Before she could even finish the thought, Kadil quickly added,
“Rinea, I believe in you. Can’t you believe in me, too?”
“…”
“Surely you’re not someone so emotional and foolish that you’d throw away all our years together—our trust and love—over something like this.”
Is that what this was? Was it just foolish anger and emotion? Was that all this sadness was?
But Kadil didn’t give her a moment to breathe.
“If you make that kind of decision… well, I can’t help it. As much as I love you, I can’t spend my life with a foolish woman. Honestly, I’m a little disappointed. Maybe it was too much to ask that the one person I trusted would trust me in return.”
“…No, it’s not that, I just—”
Rinea wanted to take a moment to think, to breathe. But Kadil gave her no room. He turned his back to her. And seeing his back—seeing him turn away from her—sent her heart crashing.
Abandoned again. Disappointed again. Left alone.
“Goodbye, Rinea.”
“No, wait… please… wait…”
Her voice trembled as she called out to him.
“I’m sorry… I misunderstood you… please don’t go…”
“What if I don’t?”
“…”
Rinea didn’t know how to answer. Kadil turned around.
“Will you accept my apology?”
“…Yes. I will. So…”
“Thank you, Rinea.”
He returned to her side, as if nothing had happened, took her hand. She flinched, but he gripped her hand tighter.
“I’ll just let her have the baby. I won’t see her again. You’re the only one I love, Rinea.”
“…”
“Rinea.”
“…”
“You won’t make a foolish decision in a moment of emotion, will you?”
That was no longer a plea—it was a threat.
But Rinea couldn’t even tell the difference anymore. Her body and heart trembled with exhaustion. Compared to all the stories she’d heard in high society about cheating men, maybe this wasn’t even a big deal. It shouldn’t have been. And he did say he’d never see her again.
She’d never find someone so faithful and sincere again.
Her age—just twenty-two—also held her back. She wasn’t unaware of the gossip about herself in high society.
Things like, “She snagged a great match, for someone like her.”
Those cruel rumors stung now more than ever.
If she let him go now, it felt like she’d never get another chance.
I didn’t love someone worthless.
The time I spent loving him wasn’t meaningless.
She lied to herself that way.
“…Okay.”
“Thank you. I love you, Rinea.”
Even if her heart no longer fluttered at those words, there was no turning back.
Later, at Rinea’s birthday party, Kadil formally proposed in front of many guests.
“Congratulations!”
“Congrats to you both!”
“They look perfect together, don’t they?”
In a celebration she had never once experienced before, Rinea quietly watched as Kadil slipped a diamond ring onto her left ring finger. She tried to calm her unease. The ring was on now. There was no turning back.
“And this—besides the engagement ring—is a personal gift. It shows my love for you.”
As he said this, Kadil clasped a silver bracelet, intricately decorated with amethyst and diamonds, around her wrist.
“Thank you. I’m happy.”
Forcing the smile Kadil praised, she responded. He smiled brightly and kissed her forehead. Applause erupted from all around.
After the proposal, Kadil left to greet other guests. Rinea stood alone, dazed, until someone approached her.
“Miss Rinea.”
“Miss Clara.”
It was Clara, a friend invited to the party. But her expression was complicated.
“Thank you for coming.”
“Of course. …But, could we talk privately for a moment?”
Clara led Rinea out to a secluded balcony, and Rinea followed, puzzled.
“What is it?”
“Sorry, this will be quick. …Do you know your fiancé is seeing someone else?”
Her heart dropped. Rinea pressed a hand to her chest.
“…Yes. But he said it was over.”
“Did you know she’s a famous opera singer? That she took a break recently because she wasn’t feeling well—and people suspect she’s pregnant?”
“…I didn’t know she was a singer. But I knew about the pregnancy.”
“You knew and still accepted the engagement? Why?”
What could she possibly say?
When Rinea fell silent, Clara bit her lip.
“I’ve dated plenty, and I know how stupid it is to interfere in someone else’s relationship. But this isn’t right. Call it off. Even now, it’s not too late.”
“…That’s unreasonable. Why are you saying this?”
“Are you really going to spend your life with a husband who keeps a mistress? A man who gives the same jewelry to you and his mistress?”
“…The same jewelry…?”
Clara, frustrated, grabbed Rinea’s wrist.
“This bracelet. She wears it too. I ran into her a few days ago at a boutique, and she had it on—like she wanted everyone to see it.”
“—No way.”
“You think I’m lying? I found out her address from the boutique. Go there yourself. See what’s really going on.”
Clara gave her the address and left with one final plea: “Please, think again.”
Rinea stood alone on the balcony for a long time before returning to the party.
“Rinea, where were you?”
Kadil looked at her with concern.
“It’s nothing.”
She couldn’t say anything to him anymore.
The next day, Rinea gave the address Clara had provided to the coachman and headed for the house.
She deliberately had the carriage stop a few blocks away and walked the rest.
In a quiet neighborhood of modest, middle-class homes, she found the address. She checked it several times before knocking. A maid in rough clothing soon opened the door.
“Yes? The lady of the house isn’t in right now.”
“I’m Lord Ramburn’s maid. I have an urgent matter to discuss with him. Is he not home?”
“Oh, is that so?”
At the mention of Kadil’s name, the maid let her in without question.
Rinea’s heart sank. Why had the name worked so naturally? The maid acted like this was nothing new, as if it happened often.
“Please wait here. It might take a while.”
“What do you mean… a while?”
“He hasn’t been here long, so they’re probably… burning with passion right now.”
The maid chuckled and disappeared into the kitchen. Rinea’s skin crawled.
While the maid was away preparing tea, Rinea quietly climbed the stairs. From an ajar door, indecent sounds spilled out.
They stopped after a short while.
“But darling,”
A woman’s breathless, seductive voice rang out. Through the crack, Rinea stood frozen, watching her fiancé wrapped in the arms of another woman. Several bottles of dark green liquid rolled near the bed.
“Are you really going to marry that girl?”
“I told you, I have no choice. It’s not like I want to.”
“Noble girls have it easy. Marriage proposals just fall into their laps.”
“Jealous?”
“Hardly.”
The two laughed.
“You should’ve seen her face when I told her I was pregnant.”
“Don’t meet her alone again.”
“Relax. I only went to toy with her. Honestly, she looked so boring—trying so hard to show off she studied.”
“Study? She’s never even set foot in an academy. Do you know what her nickname was as a kid? ‘Idiot.’ Seriously.”
“Really? And you’re marrying such a dull, stupid girl?”
“Do you think I decided? My family did. Don’t worry. Once she’s served her use, I’ll throw her away and come to you.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Why would I want to live with a girl like her? You’ll have my second and third children.”
“Hmph, and when I get old and out of shape, you’ll change your mind.”
“Then take care of yourself. So I’ll keep loving you.”
More gasping, clinging sounds.
Rinea watched it all. She saw the silver bracelet on the nightstand—adorned with amethyst and diamonds.
She slowly turned. Her legs were weak; she nearly fell several times down the stairs.
“Oh? You’re back already? Did you speak with him?”
The maid kept talking, but Rinea didn’t hear a thing.
“Miss? Miss?”
Ignoring the calls, she left the house and walked without aim. She didn’t even head toward the carriage—she’d forgotten where it was.
Where should she go?
Did she ever have anywhere to go?
She walked until her feet went numb. When her senses returned, she stood atop a bridge on the edge of the city.
Below, a shallow stream trickled by—too shallow to drown in. In its surface, she saw a pale, mad-looking woman staring back.
That was her—who she had become.
Suddenly, Rinea burst into laughter. Loud and wild, holding her stomach. Bystanders stared, startled, but she didn’t even notice.
Tears dripped from her chin, rippling the surface of the stream.
When her voice was hoarse, Rinea stopped laughing. She tore off the pendant around her neck and flung it into the water.
She had nothing left. That was her now.
That night, Rinea didn’t return home. She went into the nearby woods… and hanged herself.
