– Chapter 7 –
“No.”
Her mother, Monica, flatly rejected Lenea’s request as soon as she returned home.
“Sit in on Academy lectures? What nonsense is that? You’re not capable of understanding such difficult classes.”
“Please. Even just for a month.”
“I said no. Why are you being so stubborn?”
Still, Lenea didn’t give up and kept pleading.
“As you said, I wasn’t capable enough to even go near the Academy. But I’d like to attend just once, even if it’s only one class.”
It wasn’t just about putting distance between her and Kadil. Lenea had a thirst for learning, a passion for knowledge, and a longing for the Academy that she had never even been allowed to apply to. But her mother shook her head firmly.
“No. It’s a waste of money.”
“I won’t take allowance for a year. I don’t need new dresses or jewels. I really want to attend.”
“When your mother says no, why do you keep insisting?”
Her father, Wilson, chimed in.
“There are plenty of books at home, and if you need a tutor, we can hire one. Why do you always want so much?”
“I’ve already read all the books at home.”
“More nonsense! How could you have read all those books? Women only need to marry well—”
“What about women?”
Suddenly, a voice interrupted from the parlor, startling both Monica and Wilson, who turned quickly toward it.
Wilson wasn’t yet the Duke—his mother, Grace Shuhebbers, was still alive and the true head of the household.
Grace Shuhebbers, Wilson’s mother, stood at the parlor entrance.
“M-Mother.”
“Well.”
Grace slowly walked in and sat down on a single-seater sofa, looking around.
“To you, who hasn’t yet inherited the Dukedom, I must just be a burden.”
“Mother! How could you say that?”
“And your wife, who graduated top of her class from the Academy and now abuses her own children, must feel the same. Are you short on money? No, it’s not that. It’s just you who doesn’t have enough money to spend, isn’t it?”
Monica’s face went pale. She could only stammer, “No, that’s not it.”
When Grace’s eyes landed on her, Lenea flinched involuntarily. Her eyes felt like they could see through everything, pressing down on her like a weight.
“You’ve given birth to so many useless and not even pretty children, and now you’re picking out the chaff from the bunch. What a sight to see.”
“Mother, please…”
“You sent the first and second children to the Academy, didn’t you? Why not the third? They’re all born of the same seed.”
Lenea instinctively felt that Grace wasn’t siding with her. To Grace, Avon, Bridget, and Lenea were all the same. What she was pointing out was fairness.
“How many times have your judgments actually been right? You have money, and even if it’s spent, it’s not yours. So why not let her do what she wants?”
“……”
“No wonder you go berserk whenever anyone calls you a second-rate noble. You cling to your own standards like they’re law.”
Grace muttered to herself and stood up, leaving the room. Her aged but loyal maid helped her.
Silence followed. Lenea wasn’t even sure if she should leave.
“…I’ll send a letter to the Academy.”
Wilson finally spoke with a heavy voice.
“Sit in on lectures or whatever you want.”
“…Yes. Thank you.”
“Now go.”
As Lenea quietly left the parlor, a loud crashing sound came from inside. Something had broken. Her mother’s soothing voice followed.
It had nothing to do with Lenea.
Lenea thought her audit would last a month—but it stretched to three.
When she couldn’t see Kadil, she wanted to rush back to him immediately. Sleepless nights followed, and she wrote many letters—none of which she ever sent.
Instead, she stayed and completed her term, studying literature, art, and natural sciences.
It wasn’t out of stubbornness or bitterness at Kadil for not contacting her—just one short note in all that time. It was because she wanted to become someone she could be proud of in front of him. She wanted to tell him how much she had grown, what she had learned.
But the first person she met after returning from the Academy wasn’t Kadil—it was a servant from the Rambern household.
“He can’t come?”
“Yes. He’s quite busy preparing for the Duke’s upcoming celebration…”
A celebration in the ducal house clearly meant a wedding. Kadil was bringing their eventual marriage into the public eye. He wasn’t neglecting her. Lenea tried hard to suppress her disappointment and unease.
“He asked me to give you this with his sincerest apologies.”
The servant handed her a bouquet of anemones. After he left, Lenea stood silently holding the bouquet for a long time.
Even after that, Kadil never came, always citing work as the reason. It wasn’t until a month later—almost half a year total—that they finally met.
“Lenea, it’s been a while.”
His smile was unchanged, as if they had just seen each other yesterday. Lenea swallowed the words of resentment and smiled.
“Yes, it has. You must have been very busy.”
“Business has been booming. It’s hard to find time. I barely made it today.”
“If that’s the case, you didn’t have to come…”
“No, I had to.”
His gentle smile gave her hope. Believe in him. He’s always been kind to you. You never had someone like this. If you can’t trust that smile, what else can you trust?
But Kadil left an hour earlier than planned.
“Like a dog chasing chickens off the roof. Pathetic.”
That was Bridget, Lenea’s older sister and the Duke’s second daughter. Since graduating the Academy and returning home, she fought with their brother Avon daily over succession. She no longer bullied Lenea physically, but her words and condescending attitude hadn’t changed.
“Your fiancé practically lives at the opera house these days. Haven’t you ever learned to sing?”
Lenea ignored her sister’s sneers. Not worth responding to.
As she walked down the hallway, a sudden dizziness hit her, and she blinked hard.
“My lady?”
“….”
She just shook her head. Dizziness had been plaguing her more often lately.
Time passed. Lenea turned twenty-two.
In noble society, she should have been married by now, but Kadil still hadn’t proposed. He said he was too busy.
If that were all, she could have endured it silently. But his actions were growing harder to ignore.
“Going to the Rambern estate again?”
Her mother’s voice, sharp as ever, came as she left the house. Lenea stopped at the doorway and bowed slightly.
“Yes.”
“A single woman, visiting a man’s home so freely, even if he’s your fiancé… then again, what else can an uneducated girl do?”
Her mother, who had yet to become Duchess herself, clicked her tongue in disgust and waved her hand as if to shoo her away. Lenea climbed into the carriage and closed her eyes tightly.
Please propose soon.
Please get me out of this suffocating house.
But Kadil had stopped coming to the ducal estate altogether. That’s why Lenea, despite her family’s contempt, went to him herself.
At first, he only canceled occasionally. Then it became months between meetings. Eventually… it had been years. She lost count.
Still, it was hard to believe his feelings had changed.
Whenever she visited, he greeted her warmly even in the middle of work, speaking to her with the same affectionate tone. Trusting him despite inner doubts hurt. But Kadil remained sweet.
So Lenea clung to that kindness. She clenched her fists.
The carriage arrived at the marquis’ estate. She stepped down, took the basket prepared by her maid—with Kadil’s favorite wine, flowers, and a letter—and walked up.
“Welcome, Lady Shuhebbers.”
“Is Kadil in his office?”
“Well…”
The butler hesitated. Lenea noticed but didn’t think much of it.
“Today, Lord Kadil is… not home.”
“Oh.”
Disappointed, she remembered the basket she held.
“Then I’ll just leave this in his bedroom.”
“Pardon?”
The butler panicked slightly.
“Um, his room is… currently being cleaned.”
“Then I’ll wait until it’s done.”
“I’ll escort you to the parlor—”
“No, I’ll wait in front of the room. I’m just leaving this, no tea needed.”
Without noticing the butler’s distress, Lenea walked toward Kadil’s bedroom.
She knew where it was, though she’d never entered before. It hadn’t been the right time. But soon, it would be her room too. She wanted to see it.
As she got closer, strange sounds reached her ears.
At first, she thought she was imagining it—maids gossiping, the wind, something. But the noise was coming from inside Kadil’s bedroom. Chaotic, primal sounds. Moaning.
Lenea’s face turned red. She assumed some servants were misbehaving in his absence. The noise grew louder. She couldn’t bear it and flung the door open.
Crash!
The wine bottle rolled out of the basket and shattered on the marble floor.
“Ah…”
“Gasp.”
On the large bed visible from the door, a man and woman stared at her. One she didn’t recognize. But the other…
She knew him all too well.
“L-Lenea, this is…”
Caught with the woman, Kadil panicked, pushing her away and scrambling to cover his naked body. Lenea was so shocked she couldn’t even scream.
What is this?
‘Your fiancé practically lives at the opera house these days…’
No, no. I’m not that kind of person. Kadil isn’t like that. No. No. No…
Then what is this?
Lenea ran.
“Lenea!”
As she jumped into the carriage in a frenzy, the red gem pendant on her collar slipped out. Dazed, she noticed it only after the carriage had already started moving. With trembling fingers, she picked it up and stared.
When he first gave it to her, it was a vivid crimson. Now, dulled with age and wear, it was almost black.
Impulsively, she yanked it.
If I tear this off, if I break it…
Would that end it with Kadil?
Her heart pounded. Cold sweat trickled down her temples.
Is this the end? Is it really? Can I end it like this? That long love, that long hope, all of it—just like this?
Can I let go?
In the end, Lenea couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.
Back at the ducal estate, Lenea shut herself in her room without a word. Not even tears came.
What should I do?
No one had an answer.
“…My lady. There’s a woman here who wishes to see you.”
Her maid cautiously observed her reaction. Lenea, lying on the bed, replied with barely moving lips.
“Tell her I’m not here.”
“She asked me to show you this…”
Lenea turned her head slowly. The maid hesitantly held something out.
A withered yellow rose. The same flower Lenea had brought to Kadil’s house.
“….”
Lenea had no choice but to sit up.
They met in a parlor near her room—Lenea didn’t want to dirty her own space.
A seductive woman with raven-black hair and full lips sat confidently across from her. Unlike Lenea’s slim frame, the woman had a curvaceous figure and a small face, brimming with confidence. Did Kadil kiss those lips?
“Please break up with him.”
“Why should I?”
Those were her first words. Lenea scoffed.
“You’re the one who seduced a man with a fiancée…”
“Oh, it’s not about morals or legality. You’ll understand once you hear me out.”
The woman, clearly of low birth, spoke arrogantly. Lenea decided to endure a little longer.
“Why?”
“Because I’m pregnant. It’s his child.”
What was she saying? Lenea’s face went pale, but she tilted her head.
“Do you have proof it’s his?”
“What?”
“I mean, how do I know it’s not someone else’s child—someone else you seduced using your… talents?”
The woman flushed red, shocked that Lenea had talked back.
“You.”
Lenea called her maid. When the girl hurried over, Lenea jerked her chin toward the woman.
“Remove this filth from my house. Don’t ever let her back in.”
“Filth?!”
“Get her out. How many times must I say it?”
The maid scrambled, calling more servants to drag the woman out as she kicked and screamed.
Lenea sat silently in the parlor for a long time.
‘I’m pregnant. It’s his child.’
Suddenly, dizziness overtook her. She clutched the sofa and bent forward. Even after the spell passed, she remained in that position.
Her fingernails dug into the leather of the sofa.
Please disappear from my life.
