Chapter 4
From the next day onward, as soon as dawn broke, I would have a simple breakfast and then head to my father’s study to learn how to handle documents. I had learned bits and pieces just by watching him since I was very young, so it wasn’t particularly difficult—but there were more complicated matters than I expected, and I struggled quite a bit.
Still, since it was my first time learning, my father even praised me for having talent, which made me feel proud.
About half a month passed like that.
“Leshua.”
After finishing my morning routine, I took a short break and went to the guest room, where I was diligently massaging his leg with both hands. At that moment, I looked up at the unfamiliar voice calling my name.
“…Did you just call me?”
“Yes.”
Surprisingly, he didn’t even realize that he had casually called the name of a noble like me. All I could feel was my heart briefly stop at the fact that he had called me.
As always, his transparent, clear light-brown eyes were fixed on me in an almost blind, unwavering way. Then, for the first time, he offered a faint smile in my direction.
“I wanted to thank you for saving me, but I kept thinking about how I should repay you and ended up missing the timing. No words seem sufficient for my benefactor.”
“…I thought you were some kind of mermaid prince.”
“A mermaid prince?”
“I thought you might be the mermaid prince who lost his voice.”
At my words, he turned his head slightly and let out a quiet laugh. Even that small laugh, even his low voice, was as attractive as his appearance, making my heart flutter. It felt as if every nerve in my body had become sensitive enough to tingle down to my fingertips.
This feeling… is new.
Just being called by name—how could it create such emotions?
It felt as though he was filling the emptiness left behind by my mother’s passing. I had been a little down today, missing her more than usual, but his voice made me smile again.
Isn’t it strange? I’m not someone who easily gives my heart to others—so why does it lean toward him without hesitation?
“What’s your name?”
“Call me Ash.”
“Ash…”
I repeated his name, holding it in my mouth. It suited him so well that it lingered on my tongue.
“Then, Ash, won’t your family be looking for you?”
“I’m afraid… I’ve lost them all.”
“…I see.”
I couldn’t bring myself to ask further, fearing he might have lost them to a plague as well.
“Do you have somewhere to go back to?”
“Not at the moment.”
“Then you can stay here. If you don’t have anywhere to return to, why not build a place to settle?”
I was a realist. So much so that even my only friend, Evelin, would shake her head at me. I had never believed in fate—not even once in my twenty years of life.
Until I met him.
The moment I saw his beautiful light-brown eyes, stained with blood, I realized that falling for someone at first sight felt exactly like this. Just as Evelin had described—like seeing stars sparkle the moment you look at someone.
If just looking at someone makes your heart race and ache, then that must be love.
I couldn’t deny it anymore.
I like him. I want to stay with him.
I wanted to know him more. For the first time, I had something I wanted.
His heart.
I wanted those gentle eyes to hold only me.
“How’s your leg? Is it still painful anywhere?”
“It’s bearable.”
“Want to try walking a little? As long as you don’t push yourself, you need movement for your muscles to heal. I’ll help you.”
After his leg had improved somewhat, I had been told he needed rehabilitation through walking exercises. Even though I worried, Ash didn’t refuse, so I supported him as he limped around the room. A few days later, I even brought him out to the garden once I thought he could endure it.
“The weather is nice today. Staying inside all the time is suffocating, so I’ll show you the garden. But don’t overdo it, alright?”
I was so worried he might be hiding his pain that I spent the entire walk watching him closely. The late autumn scenery didn’t even register in my mind—I was focused only on his expression and complexion.
After walking for a while, he finally noticed my persistent gaze and stopped, meeting my eyes.
“It’s the first time someone has looked at my face so intently. If it bothers you, I’ll tell you right away, so you don’t need to watch me so closely.”
“Does it bother you that I’m looking at you?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“The image of you lying there in pain for months is still vivid to me. The shock of when you first appeared in front of me covered in blood is still there too. Of course I’m going to worry and watch you.”
“Worry…?”
He sounded as if the word was unfamiliar, as though he had never been worried about in his life. That made my chest ache for some reason. It felt like his life had been harsher than I had imagined.
The physician had said that his wounds showed signs of old scars scattered throughout his body. So I had already guessed he hadn’t lived an easy life—but seeing those wavering eyes made me feel strangely suffocated.
It was strange. No matter how I thought about it, my heart didn’t feel normal.
I never expected to fall for a man I barely knew, yet being with him felt more enjoyable and exciting than anything else.
“Why? Is it wrong to worry?”
“…No. It’s just been a long time, so it felt unfamiliar. I thought you might be keeping your distance because you don’t trust me.”
“Do you really think someone who tried to harm me would go to the trouble of crawling into my carriage after injuring himself that badly? And you don’t exactly look like someone who would demand repayment after being saved. I’m quite good at reading people, you know.”
In other words, I tended to rely on instinct. If someone gave me a bad feeling, I kept my distance. There were very few people in the world who truly matched me, and many tried to approach me for their own gain, so I was always cautious.
But I had never once felt that he was dangerous.
People with ulterior motives had eyes twisted with greed, but his eyes were simply clear. They shone so purely that it made my heart flutter. That alone was enough for me to trust him to some degree.
Though perhaps the fact that I found him attractive as a man was influencing me more than I cared to admit.
“Since we’re on the topic, may I ask you something?”
“If it helps me avoid becoming a shameless man, I should probably answer a hundred or a thousand questions. Ask freely.”
“You said you had nowhere to go when you first woke up. If… once your injuries are fully healed and you can walk properly again, will you leave here?”
That had been on my mind.
I worried he might leave once he recovered, saying he didn’t want to be a burden.
But I couldn’t force him to stay. This was his life, after all. Even if I had feelings I couldn’t voice, he might not feel the same.
Trying to hide my expectations, I listened to his calm voice.
“I haven’t really thought about it, so I don’t know what to say. Since I’ve already lost all places I could return to… if I have to leave, I suppose I’d look for a safe place.”
“A safe place… isn’t this place safe enough for you?”
If he had nowhere else to go, there was no reason for him to leave. This was my family’s territory, and settling here might be safer for him than wandering elsewhere.
Though I did have a bit of selfish intent.
He seemed to think for a moment before looking up at the clear sky. His profile, seen from the side, was as beautiful as the sky itself, making it impossible to look away.
“I do… quite like this place. It feels peaceful and warm. I’m not sure I’m worthy of staying here, though.”
“Think about it slowly. I want you to stay here and help me.”
Just from the calluses on his palms, I could tell he was someone who used a sword. The physician had also said his injuries didn’t look like they were caused by just one person. It seemed he had fought multiple opponents alone.
I began to suspect he might be a mercenary. If so, I could even hire him.
Even so, if he chose to leave, I wouldn’t stop him.
It would simply mean our connection ended there.
Ash didn’t answer immediately, and neither did I press further. I simply inhaled the increasingly chilly autumn air and prepared for the coming winter.
Time passed, and the New Year arrived.
Fortunately, he was now fully recovered, moving as though nothing had ever happened. Occasionally he still felt pain while walking, but he had regained enough strength to even practice sword training.
“Ash!”
Every morning, before washing up or eating breakfast, I would go to the training ground. I wanted to see him, who was always there at dawn, training despite the cold.
When I waved and called out to him swinging his sword in the distance, he would set it down, wipe his sweat with a towel, and walk toward me.
“Good morning, Leshua.”
“Good morning, Ash. You’re working hard again today. It’s good to see you so diligent.”
“Since this is the body you saved, I want to recover as quickly as possible. I feel much better now that I’ve loosened up.”
“Still, don’t overdo it. Spring is still far away, and it’s cold. You’ll get injured again if you’re not careful. Come on, let’s go eat.”
We could only have breakfast together when my father was absent. Perhaps because he was a young man, my father didn’t seem to like how close I had become to him, even though Ash had never once done anything wrong.
Why did my father dislike Ash so much? It wasn’t as if he hated him outright, but his eyes always turned sharp whenever he looked at him.
Just like this.
