CHAPTER 10…………………………………..
“In the memories that come back so vividly, you were always kind. But now, you are so dry… like a withered branch in the dead of winter. It feels like I don’t know anything about you anymore.”
Psyche’s chest churned uneasily, unable to guess what could have happened to Karhis.
She had no idea what had changed him so drastically.
Karhis had never once told her anything about his past.
He had always been quiet and reserved—the kind of person who listened rather than spoke.
A faint sense of regret surfaced within her.
Even if he hadn’t told her about his past, she should have tried harder to understand it.
It felt like she still didn’t truly know him.
Back then, she had simply nodded and accepted it because he hadn’t shared.
What happened to him? What made him so cold?
Then and now alike—
Back then, she had thought she would hear it someday, when the time came… or when he was ready.
But now, it was too late.
The Karhis of the past was gone.
He had died, and what remained was the present Karhis—one who had completely forgotten her.
The Karhis she had first met had been gentle and warm.
He wasn’t the type to constantly say “I love you” or embrace her.
Rather, when she cried, he would stay quietly by her side… and simply nod in acknowledgment.
But she knew.
That was the way he loved her.
He had only said “I love you” at the very end, just before death—but he had cherished her with all his heart.
He was the only person who made her feel loved.
Because of him, she had been able to live like a human being.
She could never deny that.
— Karhis, you must be busy… You don’t have to stay. I’ll be fine alone.
— My wife is in pain. I can’t focus on work.
When she had first come to the North and fallen ill from the cold, he had set aside his work to take care of her.
Her throat had burned so much she couldn’t speak, and she shivered with chills—but he had gently wiped her forehead with a damp cloth and layered blankets over her.
He kept asking if she was okay, tending to her with careful attention.
It was the first time anyone had ever cared that much about her being sick.
In the Benoain household, no one had ever paid her any attention.
No one had even spared her a glance.
And yet, Karhis alone had seen her.
Though he was blunt and quiet, his gaze toward her was always soft—never leaving her.
Even within that cold gaze, she could tell how kind he truly was.
He had even built her a large greenhouse because she loved flowers.
The glass greenhouse, filled with blooming flowers, was beautiful.
Sometimes, they would sit there together and drink tea.
Even without speaking, he would nod as he listened to her, his silver eyes shining like snowflakes or glass beads.
She wondered if he had ever known how much her heart raced whenever she looked into those eyes.
The faint smile on his lips was so subtle one might miss it—but the warmth within it was beyond words.
It was enough to make her cheeks burn red.
Her heart would pound so loudly she feared it might be heard.
“He used to be so kind… so why is he so different now…?”
Now, he had become someone unbearably cold.
Or perhaps—
He had always been indifferent.
Maybe it had been strange that he had ever been kind to someone as insignificant as her.
She understood the reason, yet she still resented it—just a little.
If he had been this cruel from the beginning, perhaps the gap wouldn’t have hurt so much.
Because he had once been kind, the coldness now felt unbearable.
Psyche touched the necklace around her neck, forcing down the sadness that crept across her face.
“…Should I go back now?”
She returned to the banquet hall with a hesitant expression.
Karhis was already gone, and with the disappearance of the one person she had come for, she felt lost.
Part of her wanted to enjoy the pre-festival, but she wasn’t in the mood.
Besides, there was no one she knew.
Still, this was the first time in her life she had ever attended such a grand event.
Karhis hated noisy gatherings, so no banquets were ever held at the ducal estate—and no one even dared to send invitations.
Psyche herself wasn’t fond of parties either; she usually spent her time in the greenhouse or embroidering.
So although the bustling space felt unfamiliar and awkward, she was also strangely excited—it was her first time.
Maybe I’ll stay a little longer…
With that thought, she decided to go to the garden.
The garden was quieter than she expected.
Perhaps she had wandered somewhere secluded, or perhaps the nobles simply hadn’t come here.
The dimly lit garden wasn’t frightening—it was calm and peaceful.
At night, magical lights shimmered softly, creating a beautiful scene.
The fountain looked as though it were scattering golden streams of water.
“…It’s so quiet.”
Psyche watched blankly as a warm breeze brushed past her ear.
It was warm—so warm it made her want to curl up.
“It feels like I’m all alone…”
In this quiet space, it felt as though she was the only person left in the world.
Her pink hair fluttered gently in the wind, and the softness in her expression made her look especially beautiful.
She stepped closer to the fountain.
As she reached out to touch the shimmering water, a cold sensation flowed through her body.
At the same time—
An overwhelming surge of power burst out from within her.
From her fingertips, a rich floral scent spread, and countless petals began to flutter into the air.
“Ah… what do I do?”
Startled by her own power, Psyche’s eyes widened in shock.
She had never imagined such immense power would leak out of her—
nor that she would ever have to worry about controlling it.
“…Who even wants this kind of power…?”
She barely swallowed the curse that almost escaped her lips.
What if someone sees this…?
If that happened, everything would fall apart.
Rumors would spread instantly.
She needed to remain ordinary—powerless—if she wanted to return to the North.
Panicking, she hurriedly tried to gather the petals, though it was a futile effort.
Her trembling hand instinctively grabbed the necklace.
And instantly—
The petals froze, shattered into dust, and dispersed into the air.
Psyche blinked in confusion.
Ah… the sealed power in the necklace…
Just like winter’s nature, the petals vanished without a trace.
She exhaled in relief, her racing heart finally calming.
The necklace held the power of a sealed spirit—she could tell just how strong it was.
“…Ugh.”
A sharp pain shot through her ankle—the one she had twisted earlier.
“…How can I be this careless…”
She limped toward a nearby bench, biting her lip in frustration.
Her ankle was badly swollen, and her heels had scraped her skin raw.
“It hurts…”
Leaning back against the bench, she let out a small complaint.
But the pain didn’t ease.
And in that moment—
Being alone made everything feel even more miserable.
Tears welled in her eyes.
Carrying all her memories… knowing the terrible future…
It was too painful. Too lonely.
What if she hadn’t known anything at all?
Would things have been different?
Would she have hurt less?
Would she have stopped crying?
Would she have lived without drowning in tears?
Her thoughts spiraled into darkness.
The throbbing pain in her ankle and the flood of sorrow overwhelmed her.
“…Can it hurt this much…? It hurts so much… I feel like I might die…”
It hurt more than everything she had endured in the Benoain household.
More than the cold stares, the resentment, the exile.
Her injured ankle—and her shattered heart—
were more than she could bear.
“…No… I don’t want that. That would be horrible. Then… shouldn’t I be the one to end it?”
A faint hope flickered in her tear-filled eyes.
It was small—but enough to push back a fragment of despair.
If you have to suffer, then I should suffer instead.
She had the resolve to give everything for the one person who meant everything to her.
She loved him beyond words.
Enough to give her life.
He had saved her in a world full of despair.
Now, she wanted to save him.
Just as he had been her salvation, she wanted to become his.
This time… I’ll save you. I’ll protect your life—even if it costs me mine.
A faint smile formed on her lips as she buried her face in her knees.
“…Then it’s okay if I suffer.”
Her quiet voice carried unwavering determination.
