Chapter 190……………………………………………………….
Terrence showed a defensive attitude.
“…A condition?”
“Yes, a condition. Surely you didn’t think that turning back time would come without any price?”
“Riena—didn’t you turn back time for that person without asking for anything?”
“In that child’s case, the moment she was chosen as an apostle she was already dying, so I simply turned back time along with it. She was in a position where she could only accept what was given.”
“So I’m different?”
“As you can see, you rejected the role given to you and ended up in a state that’s neither this nor that, yet you’re demanding that the gods turn back time. I don’t particularly like that.”
“…”
“Moreover, I gave you a choice in the beginning. I asked if you wanted the chance to destroy the world. You were the one who accepted that role and then threw it away as you pleased.”
Terrence quietly closed his eyes.
Even before a god—especially in a situation where he didn’t know what price the god might demand—he remained composed.
No, thinking about it, ‘he has no choice but to be composed’ was probably the more accurate expression.
It wasn’t that he was too strong to be damaged; rather, there was simply nothing left to be worn away.
After losing Idel and becoming the apostle of an evil god, even laying waste to the imperial palace—what kind of years had he endured?
In the mirror hanging in one corner of the temple, his reflection carried an eternal gloom and exhaustion.
Eventually Terrence opened his eyes and spoke.
“Tell me what the price is. I’ll give anything. As long as I can return to the past.”
“I’ll take your memories.”
“…What?”
“But don’t worry. If I took all your memories from this life, nothing would change. A you who knows nothing would act exactly the same as you did in the past, and the result would obviously be the same as now.”
“So?”
“I’ll give you memories to replace them. They’re someone else’s memories, but through them you’ll obtain information from before the regression.”
At that moment, Miela suddenly raised her voice as if she had come up with a brilliant idea.
“Wait, what if those memories took a different form? Carrying someone else’s memories would look unnatural no matter how you see it. Your identity would become terribly confused. It would be troublesome if you froze up over something like that after I went through the trouble of turning back time.”
“Hey—”
“Hmm, right! How about a novel? You’ll think those memories are simply the contents of a novel. Then naturally you’ll believe you’re a character who has entered that novel.”
“Wait!”
Terrence, who until just moments ago had shown no agitation at all, lost his composure.
“Forget the novel nonsense! You can’t take my memories! If there’s a price, take something else!”
“Huh? Why are you getting so excited?”
“Who would welcome being made to perceive themselves as someone else?”
“Really? That’s strange. The you I know… is someone who would endure anything as long as that woman could be saved.”
“…Say whatever you want.”
“Shall I guess the real reason? You’re afraid you won’t meet Idel.”
“…”
“You’ll return to the past without remembering any of the moments you shared with Idel, carrying only someone else’s memories. Naturally you’ll act differently from the you of this life. There’s also no guarantee you’ll meet Idel again like before. You’re afraid you won’t meet her, afraid you won’t fall in love with her, afraid you won’t be able to protect her.”
Terrence silently confirmed Miela’s words.
“Of course. The only reason to turn back time is Idel. How could I accept forgetting my memories of her and not even knowing whether we’ll meet again?”
“But the memories I’m giving you are Riena’s. With them, you could completely predict how Riena will act and overwhelm her perfectly. You could even steal all of her achievements. You’d become the hero who saved the world and live in wealth and glory.”
“I don’t need that. Even with the memories I have now, I can deal with her myself.”
“How impressive. But what should we do? The price has already been decided.”
“I said I refuse!”
“You don’t have the right to refuse.”
“Damn it! If it’s a price, take my lifespan or something! Take my life instead!”
“Think carefully. It’s a price, not a reward. Why would I give you what you want?”
For a long while Terrence glared at the altar with murderous eyes.
But unfortunately, as long as he remained a human bound to the earth, he was no threat to a god.
The goddess Miela spoke gently.
“Don’t think so negatively. It’s not certain that you won’t meet her at all. Who knows? Idel might come to your estate again asking to work as a maid, just like in this life.”
“…How can you guarantee that? The reason Idel chose the Marquisate of Freiheiden among so many noble families was because of my actions.”
“Hmm.”
“Not many noble houses would hire someone without a recommendation letter. At the time, I kept dismissing servants because I wanted to eliminate spies planted by the empress. There were rumors that my estate was always short-handed, so Idel purposely came there.”
“And?”
“If I return with different memories and my behavior changes, there’s a chance Idel won’t come.”
“There’s also a chance she will.”
“That possibility alone isn’t enough. No matter what happens, I must meet Idel. If I meet her, I’m certain I’ll fall in love with her again. I guarantee it. Idel is someone you can’t help but love.”
“What a tearful love story.”
“But if we never meet at all, it’s meaningless. I have to give Idel happiness.”
“Alright, I’ve heard enough of your love story. But it doesn’t change my mind. Now, say goodbye to this world.”
“You—!”
“And Terrence, even if Idel doesn’t meet you, that doesn’t mean she’ll automatically be unhappy.”
At those words, Terrence’s eyes widened.
“If she doesn’t meet you, she won’t have to drink poison in your place, and there’s a future where she finds another decent job and lives happily.”
“…”
“You subconsciously believed that Idel could only be happy if she met you—if you were the one protecting her.”
“That’s—”
“In short, that’s your misunderstanding. You find your own happiness, and Idel finds hers.”
“Wait!”
Just as his vision began to distort from the edges, Terrence shouted.
“I told you, the price has already been decided.”
“That’s not it. I’ll accept the price.”
“Hm?”
“But I have a condition too.”
“What is it?”
“The one who returns to the past and receives those memories won’t be me—it will be Idel.”
“What?”
“Give Riena’s memories to Idel. I call it a condition… but it’s closer to a request.”
The goddess was silent for a moment, then burst out laughing.
“To hear the word request come from your mouth. But do you even understand what you’re saying?”
“Perfectly.”
“You’re asking me to make Idel regress? As you probably expected, if she regresses through my power, she’ll be obligated to become my apostle like Riena. Since there would be more than one, she’d only be a candidate—but still.”
“I know. Even considering that, I’m asking you to give Riena’s memories to Idel.”
“Why?”
“Idel is someone strong enough to drink poison in a single gulp even while knowing it would kill her. She’s far stronger than I am. If she were given wings, she could easily save the world.”
“And those ‘wings’ are Riena’s memories?”
“Yes. Those memories will give Idel the strength to escape that miserable Wallace Count family.”
“The ones you slaughtered so cruelly.”
“And she has the right to have what Riena enjoyed. The child Cassius originally intended to adopt was Idel.”
“You did quite a bit of research.”
“…Send Idel back in my place.”
“Are you sure about that? If you receive my blessing, your terrible headaches will disappear. But if Idel receives it, then unless by luck you two meet and become close, you’ll suffer those headaches again. You might even reach for the devil’s claws.”
“I don’t care. After hearing what you said earlier, I realized something. In my next life, I want to meet Idel again. I want to love her. I want to protect her. But more than that, what I truly want… is for Idel to be happy.”
“How interesting. It’s not a completely unexpected outcome, but I never thought you’d make that choice.”
“…”
“You had the highest chance of refusing the price until the very end and rebelling against me. It seems that just because humans live short lives doesn’t mean they always act as I predict. That’s what makes it fun.”
The goddess chuckled and made a proposal.
“Do you have anything you want to leave for Idel? As a reward for entertaining me, I’ll deliver exactly one sentence.”
“One sentence?”
“However, Idel won’t know you sent it. She won’t know about your existence either. She’ll only know the sentence. So don’t say something like ‘Come meet Terrence Freiheiden.’”
Terrence thought seriously.
Words like “I love you,” “Be happy,” “Be careful of Riena,” and “Leave Wallace quickly” slipped between his lips and then disappeared.
Before long, as if he had made his decision, he spoke.
“Once, when Idel left my estate, she left me a letter. One sentence in it remained vividly in my memory.”
His lips moved.
“I hope Your Highness always walks on a path of flowers.”
“I thought it was quite an interesting expression. Idel…”
He murmured her name softly, speaking as if she were really there.
To the person he had deliberately avoided in the past, never meeting even when she left.
“After regressing, walk only on flower paths.”
That was the title attached to Riena’s memories—the ones I had read, or rather believed until now to be a novel.
The novel, “After Regressing, Walk Only on Flower Paths.”
