Chapter 189…………………………………
The man’s expression changed instantly from shock at Idel suddenly taking and drinking his liquor.
“Idel!”
Idel continued to cough up dark red blood, her body collapsing under the strain.
Terrence caught her in his arms and shouted,
“Idel, Idel! Stay with me!”
She wanted to respond, but the overwhelming pain left her barely able to breathe.
Her insides felt as if they were burning in a furnace; her mind swirled, and a terrible headache followed in succession.
The headache—of course. He had carried this agony since birth, every single day of his life.
No wonder he had reacted so sharply when she told him to stop taking the Devil’s Claw.
At last, Idel truly understood Terrence.
“Physician! Bring the physician immediately! What are you waiting for? Go at once!”
While she struggled to focus, Terrence barked orders around him, frantically searching for a doctor.
She heard someone running, likely to fetch the physician, followed by Jack seizing Samuel as he tried to flee, demanding to know whose instructions he was following.
Samuel stammered, insisting he had nothing to do with it, that the woman collapsed there was his sister, and why would he try to kill her?
Idel summoned every ounce of willpower to hold onto her fading consciousness.
With great effort, she opened her lips.
“The mastermind… Baron… Sky Whale… that drink… it kills…”
Samuel, merely a pawn, could only speak a few words to convey that the Baron was behind it and the mechanism of the poison.
Even so, the words made blood rise in her throat, causing Idel to gag.
Terrence hurriedly helped her expel the blood, gripping her hand tightly.
“It’s okay, Idel. I understand everything now. You don’t have to say anything more. The physician will be here soon. Once the physician comes, you’ll live. Just the physician… why aren’t they here yet?!”
Instinctively, Idel felt it—her death was inevitable.
Terrence likely felt it too, yet he still spoke of hope.
She engraved his kindness in her heart one last time and tried to speak her final words.
“Even… harmful medicines… please… be as careful as possible… okay?”
“I understand! I’ll never take it again. I swear, I won’t put it in my mouth again.”
Seeing him nod blindly, resolute, she finally felt reassured.
There were other things she wanted to say—hopes for him to become Emperor, reminders to correct his irregular lifestyle—but words no longer came.
Her tongue felt stiff; no matter how she tried to speak, only a faint hiss of air escaped.
It seemed her end had come.
“Idel? Idel? No! Don’t close your eyes. Keep them open! Look, the physician is running here. Just hold on a little longer… please…”
Her chest, stained red with her own blood, hair disheveled, and face twisted with pain.
Terrence, more disheveled than she had ever seen him, rubbed her hand against his cheek, pleading.
“I need to tell you something. Earlier, I told you to leave, never to show yourself before me again, right? That was all a lie. I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.”
“…”
“I didn’t want you to see that pitiful side of me, depending on medicine. It was too shameful, so I blurted out things I shouldn’t have. And earlier, I said I’d become Emperor? Forget it. Now that I think about it… what’s the big deal about being Emperor…”
What was he saying now?
She could hear the words, but her dazed mind refused to comprehend them.
Even just listening seemed impossible—the poison wouldn’t allow it.
She couldn’t stay awake any longer; her eyelids were too heavy.
Idel succumbed, closing her eyes.
“Idel? No, please, Idel! Your eyes…”
Then, everything stopped.
His desperate voice, the whispers of the people, even the beat of her own heart.
In her final moment, Idel only thought:
Of all things, I wish I had said this one thing.
I dared to hold you in my heart.
As Idel’s world faded to black, my consciousness awakened.
For a while, I stared blankly, unable to think, until I realized who I was.
Yes. I was me.
After dying in another world, I had possessed a character in my favorite novel, Walking Only on the Flower Path After Reincarnation.
At least, that’s how I perceived myself.
While arguing with Riena, I was once again caught in a resonance of souls.
And then I began seeing Idel’s memories…
I don’t know. At some point, I had completely merged with Idel in her memories and until a moment ago, I thought I was her.
From her perspective, I felt her emotions and sensations, and when her heart ached because of Terrence, I felt the pain too.
‘Why?’
It hadn’t been like this when I saw Riena’s memories.
From Riena’s perspective, I experienced everything she did, but I had remained fully aware that I was myself.
I observed another life from a distance.
Why was it different this time?
‘Could it be… that I am truly…’
As the doubt in my mind grew, the previously dark world suddenly brightened.
I stood before a grave.
The gravestone bore the name: “Idel.”
Though the grave was neat and antique in design, no titles were inscribed—just her name.
I placed the red rose I had been holding at the grave and spoke.
“Had you been here, would you have scolded me by now?”
It was Terrence’s voice.
Only then did I realize I was seeing Terrence’s memories.
‘Why now?’
Wait—when my powers clashed with Riena’s, Terrence had been nearby.
Could that have caused a soul resonance between Terrence and me as well?
If so, seeing Terrence’s memories now wasn’t impossible.
“…”
In his memory, Terrence stood silently, staring at the grave before turning away.
A familiar building appeared after a few steps.
Small but cozy—a temple in the Wandering Forest. I had once been there with Terrence.
It was where I first heard the voice of Goddess Miella while praying.
“Hey, I’ve arrived.”
But unlike before, the temple was empty and silent. Terrence spoke quietly.
“Answer me. You who always watch over all life in this world, including me.”
Then a strange, chilling voice entered his mind.
“You have come, my Apostle. Now only the spreading of my claws to destroy the world remains.”
He called himself the Apostle? Could this be the voice of an evil god?
It sounded different from Miella’s voice, yet strangely similar.
Then Terrence said something that shocked me.
“I didn’t call you, I called Miella. Did you think you’d never realize? That ultimately, you and that goddess are different yet the same.”
What? The goddess and the evil god are the same?
The voice of the evil god changed as if to prove his words true.
“You figured it out. Well, I never really hid it either.”
A tone clearly different from before—the voice was Miella’s.
“Why do you leave life in this land while also trying to destroy every bit of it? Is that fun?”
“Perhaps. If I said it’s not fun, I’d be lying, but that’s not the main reason.”
“Then explain the main reason.”
“It’s hard to explain in a way you’d understand. Not exactly the same, but think of it like the sea.”
“The sea?”
“The sea is the birthplace of life and essential to humans and many creatures. But it’s not always beneficial. Sometimes it becomes a high tide and takes countless lives. It’s similar to that.”
“Do you think that counts as an answer?”
“Did you expect a clear answer from a god?”
“….”
“If it were something a mere human could fully comprehend, it wouldn’t be called a god. If you want answers, ask the sea or the land: why do you sometimes kill us when you provide so much to humans?”
“You mean you’re like the land and the sea?”
“Essentially, yes.”
Terrence frowned, and Miella spoke gently, as to calm a child.
“Listen, human. Understanding me and the evil god as just natural phenomena is better for your sanity. Just think, they’re naturally this way.”
“…Naturally?”
“Yes. The typhoon isn’t evil for destroying your homes, nor is the sun benevolent for shining on you.”
“….”
“I neither leave life out of goodwill nor destroy it out of malice. That’s just how it is. The distinctions between God and Evil God exist only to prevent confusion.”
“….”
“Besides, you didn’t call me to discuss Zen riddles, right?”
Terrence paused, then answered.
“Right. The world, gods—none of it matters. My only goal is to save one woman.”
Before a god who could protect or destroy the world, he dared to command.
“Miella, turn back time. This is the choice of the last surviving Apostle you selected.”
Miella remained silent, seemingly calculating something.
“You truly have no desire to destroy the world. You only want to save that woman. If you had any desire, the Monster Wave would have struck.”
Finally, the goddess sighed, muttering to herself.
“Randomness is bothersome. Once one is decided, the other must come from their surrounding people. Beyond that, there are no conditions.”
“Enough with the lecture.”
“I know, I know. Even gods can’t force your will. If you don’t want it, the Monster Wave won’t happen, but that doesn’t change the fact the Evil God’s Apostle succeeded. It’s a gray area. You have enough reason to turn back time.”
“So, you will reverse it?”
“Alright. I will reverse it. But… there’s a condition.”
