Chapter 6
I was sitting in an aisle seat when a few actors headed to the same event came into business class.
They were presenters for the awards show.
And among them was Song Kang-won, Park Hee-young’s ex-boyfriend, the one she looked for every time she got drunk.
As he passed by to his seat, he greeted her.
“Our Hee-young, long time no see.”
Park Hee-young clicked her tongue.
“Why am I your Hee-young? Ugh, so greasy.”
At that, Song Kang-won laughed.
When sober, they were weirdly cool with each other.
Still, after he left, Park Hee-young’s expression darkened.
So I said,
“Can you set up a drinking gathering with Actor Song sometime?”
“What? Why? You said your liver’s about to get a hole in it.”
“Just… I want to hear how he’s been since breaking up with you.”
But honestly, more than that…
I wanted to build connections with actors somehow.
Because in the dream, my memories of Park Yu-na going to drinking parties to make connections were awful.
Even if I had to sacrifice my liver…
Park Hee-young tried and failed to hide how much she liked the idea.
“Oh, forget it. It’s over between us…”
“Ask him if he has time tomorrow evening.”
“No need to ask. That man didn’t come all the way to Bangkok to skip drinking. He’ll be at a drinking table somewhere anyway. We can just go.”
She said it, then unconsciously smiled.
Seems love is difficult whether you’re in your thirties or your forties.
As soon as the plane took off, Park Hee-young and the Team 1 staff fell asleep.
I opened my notebook.
In spare moments, I’d been working through an online composition course and had finished one.
I played classical piano until elementary school graduation, so at least I could read sheet music.
Thankfully theory came into my head quickly.
When I gave up piano because of family finances, it felt like I’d wasted time on something useless.
Now I was using it well.
Really, anything you learn gets used somewhere.
The problem was…
The instructor said nothing helps composition more than recklessly trying to make something.
But my mind was so blank I couldn’t even do that recklessly.
I couldn’t think of what to make.
What subject to write about.
Nothing.
I didn’t know I lacked creativity this much.
I thought learning theory would be hard.
But theory was easy.
Creating was impossible.
I talked to Park Hee-young about it, and she said start with lyrics.
So I tried writing random lyrics.
That didn’t come either.
A guy who couldn’t even name things well his whole life wasn’t suddenly going to write lyrics.
I wracked my brain the whole flight.
And thought of nothing.
* * *
When we arrived at Suvarnabhumi Airport, surprisingly Thai idol fans recognized Park Hee-young and welcomed her.
They seemed to know her from variety shows.
We slept one night at the hotel.
Early the next morning, we headed to the venue.
I hadn’t experienced many large music events.
But based on the few I had…
There is no such thing as a major music event where everything is fully prepared and starts smoothly.
If no major accident happens, it’s a success.
Even in Korea it was chaos.
Doing it overseas made it feel even more unbelievable it was functioning at all.
Things were already hectic, and idol groups kept coming in and out of Park Hee-young’s waiting room to greet her.
Some looked obviously dragged there against their will.
Most greeted her politely and returned.
I didn’t know how many of those groups would survive.
But just being here meant they had power.
Most would last.
Except First Light, who had just entered.
Six members came in.
They were so tall the waiting room felt full.
“Hello, we are First Light.”
The one greeting was Hwang Saebyeok, my age, the person I’d been closest to during The Idol Chosen by the Nation, now stuck with a leader role that didn’t suit him.
“Mm. Nice to see you. Okay, off you go now.”
Park Hee-young assumed junior singers didn’t want to linger in a senior’s room, so unless she was close to them, she sent them off right after greetings.
I mean…
It’s not like my relationship with First Light was bad.
I’d just disappeared for two years.
But seeing members who had debuted…
Was much harder than I expected.
I thought my pride had already been worn away.
Apparently some pointless pride still remained.
Or maybe it wasn’t pride.
Maybe I still simply wanted to stand on stage.
And that hurt.
* * *
Park Hee-young’s rehearsal started.
The Team 1 staff and I watched from backstage, exchanging opinions.
Park Hee-young was a professional.
Didn’t matter whether this was Korea or abroad.
She was the kind of person who wouldn’t shrink even if handed a microphone in heaven or hell.
In Team 1, I was watching a model of someone who could become top-tier without becoming arrogant or lazy.
And at the same time…
I was curious.
What did it feel like to completely dominate a stage?
When she did, Park Hee-young looked genuinely happy.
A little later, her stage ended.
On the opposite stage, First Light climbed up to prepare.
Their company, TRV Entertainment, had acquired Park Jong-ryeol Entertainment, its cash cow, last year.
Even so, the companies barely interacted.
But when they occasionally shared events, their stage order ended up adjacent like this.
The members of First Light were individually skilled.
But coming right after watching Park Hee-young command the stage…
I couldn’t focus at all.
And honestly, their concept and music weren’t good.
Even Hwang Saebyeok, the oldest, was only twenty.
Yet these naturally intimidating guys were wearing wedding-style suits singing about proposals.
It looked bizarre.
Like delinquent high schoolers pretending to be grown men.
I was about to stop watching rehearsal and head in…
Then I saw the lift installed behind the stage.
The instant I saw it—
I remembered.
The incident I had to remember from this event.
No—
How had I only remembered now?
There were a few especially impactful scenes in my prophetic dream.
And this was one of them.
The incident that shocked the whole country.
The moment I remembered, I ran like mad into the staff-only restricted area.
And I found actress Kang Ha-yeon, who had just stepped onto the lift to appear after First Light’s stage.
Kang Ha-yeon.
Twenty-three years old.
A rising star.
In the dream, during rehearsal she fell from the stage due to an accident.
Then because of miscommunication with the local hospital, her lower body became paralyzed.
She never returned to broadcasting.
As I rushed at her, local staff and Korean staff blocked me.
I spoke to Kang Ha-yeon immediately.
“Actress Kang! I have prophetic dreams or something. I dreamed there’d be an accident on this lift. Seriously.”
Kang Ha-yeon stared at me with a face impossible to read.
For a second I almost forgot how urgent this was.
People say beautiful people look like dolls.
That feels wrong.
Can anyone even make a doll that beautiful?
I snapped back and shook off people grabbing me.
“Even hearing something like this feels unlucky, right? How about thinking of another way to enter!”
“Hey! Throw him out! Is he crazy?”
The Korean staff were already tense about an accident happening amid the messy operation.
Now I was saying ominous things.
Together they started pushing me out.
Panicking, I shouted desperately at Kang Ha-yeon,
“If you say you won’t ride it, they won’t force you! Ah—then at least hold the handrail! Please!”
Even I thought I sounded like a drunk lunatic.
In my panic I acted shamelessly.
After being thrown out, I was scared they might call police.
At least Korean police I could speak to.
Here?
I couldn’t even communicate.
Anyway, I got thrown out and returned backstage.
Park Hee-young smacked my back.
“You’re already making me nervous abroad, so stay where I can see you!”
“Ah, that actually hurts.”
Like I was some kind of totem.
Why did I need to stay visible?
It felt unfair.
But I rubbed my back and, as always, gave her a fighting pose.
It didn’t hurt, but acting dramatic improved Park Hee-young’s mood.
And today too, it worked.
As First Light’s rehearsal reached the end…
Kang Ha-yeon’s lift rose to a certain height.
And stopped.
If the dream news report was accurate, one side of the lift floor would give way—
And she would slide off.
Then a steel plate would fall onto her legs.
First Light’s stage ended.
The camera showed Kang Ha-yeon’s face.
Everyone in the venue murmured.
On the giant screen, she looked unreal.
Because she was an actress, unlike singers she wasn’t instinctively finding the lit camera lens.
She was looking elsewhere.
But even that looked atmospheric.
She held a script in one hand.
A microphone in the other.
Even Park Hee-young and the staff paused to watch the screen.
Maybe my words bothered her after all.
Because Kang Ha-yeon moved as close as possible to the wall where she could grab something.
Then a PD below signaled her to step back and stand in the center.
In my head, I thought—
Run to the stage again.
Wreck the broadcast if necessary.
Stop the accident.
But the moment I thought about stepping onto that stage…
I couldn’t breathe.
I couldn’t stand in front of a camera anymore.
Ever since reading the flood of hate comments against me, I had felt that during every remaining shoot of The Idol Chosen by the Nation.
As if countless people stood behind the camera holding knives.
As if they’d all rush me and carve me apart.
In the end…
I couldn’t go up on stage.
Couldn’t even keep looking.
I turned away.
Then the staff screamed all at once.
The accident happened.
I had planned—
The second Kang Ha-yeon fell, I’d go with her to the hospital.
Maybe I could at least prevent the medical malpractice by transferring her.
But—
On the giant screen, Kang Ha-yeon was hanging on, gripping the lift handrails with both hands.
Then almost immediately—
Unable to bear the weight, the remaining side broke too.
The lift floor plate crashed onto the stage.
Jung Ki-hoon, who looked like a man who’d never swear in his life, muttered,
“Holy shit… this is insane…”
Then I saw Kang Ha-yeon slowly slipping.
Apparently “I can’t go on stage” was nonsense.
The moment it became urgent—
Before I even thought—
My body was already running toward the lift
with the First Light members
and the other staff.
