Chapter 13
“That’s right. You were a dragon, my Sha.”
Sha stared at my smiling face and then spoke.
“Now you’re finally smiling properly.”
“Huh?”
“You kept smiling weirdly before. It bothered me.”
He poked the corner of my lips with his finger.
“See? Your mouth used to twitch whenever you smiled.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. Especially in front of that guy, Kashiar.”
I had tried my best to act natural, but I guess it didn’t work.
“Was it that obvious?”
“Not really. Just that I’m amazing, so I noticed. Did something bad happen?”
“No. I think it was just awkward meeting him after so long.”
Sha tilted his head but leaned against me, resting his small body on mine.
“If Master says so, then okay.”
I asked carefully, “Are you tired? Do you feel sick?”
“Recharging.”
Recharging? Like in those dramas, when the hero hugs the heroine and says, ‘Ah, I feel recharged like this.’
“I really missed you.”
I scratched my cheek, embarrassed. Looking down at Sha, who leaned against me, my face burned for a moment.
What am I even thinking?
If Sha had looked like a grown man, my heart might have skipped. But right now… this was too innocent a situation to blush over.
“How have you been?” I asked, trying to cover my thoughts with small talk.
Sha widened his eyes. “Do you really want to know?”
“Of course. I’m curious.”
“I don’t really think much about it. But… by human standards, I probably didn’t live well.”
He tilted his head. “Still want to hear?”
I immediately understood.
From what I knew, Kashiar had spent most of his life at war, and Sha had always been with him. It was because I sent Sha to Kashiar back then that he had to live that kind of life.
War was born from human greed and interests. What did Sha see and feel while caught in something that had nothing to do with him?
“No,” I whispered. I didn’t have the courage to listen.
Sha just hugged my arm tighter. “I just missed Master a lot. You worried too, right?”
“Yeah. Of course.”
My conscience throbbed painfully inside me.
“If it weren’t for that Kashiar! I hate him! Hate him sooo much!” Sha stomped his feet in the air like a child.
“I’m sorry, Sha. I forced you to do something you hated.”
“I don’t get why Master is kind to him. He should be the one being kind to you. Obviously.”
“Well… we were childhood friends. And honestly, he hasn’t done much for me.”
“You’re too kind, my Master.”
He touched my cheek gently, looking deeply moved. My heart ached again.
Back then, right after Kashiar was taken back to his family, I had searched for Sha. I found him in the kitchen, happily eating cookies. We were the same size then. And yet I had pushed him, literally, to Kashiar, even though he resisted and said no.
That’s how we were separated.
And yet, Sha now looked at me with such warmth.
“I was so happy to see you again.”
“Me too.”
Sha smiled, then stood and kissed my cheek with a loud smooch.
“I’ll go now. Let’s meet often, okay?”
“Yeah. Be careful.”
I hugged his little body tight, patting his back. He laughed softly, then jumped down and waved before disappearing into the night.
“Sigh…” I exhaled as the carriage slowed to a stop.
The door opened, and a man with dark green hair stood there—Hesiv.
“I was sitting with the coachman.”
“You didn’t need to trouble yourself.”
“How could I let an important guest of Lord Kashiar go alone?”
I took his hand and stepped down. We walked in silence until he suddenly said:
“Please, Lady Lerianna.”
I turned. He was smiling the same calm smile as always, like a picture painted against the dark.
“Please take care of Lord Kashiar.”
I frowned. Why would he ask me that? Why me?
Without answering, I turned and walked away. I didn’t even want to hear his reasons. The very thought annoyed me.
Take care of Kashiar? What does that even mean? Babysit him like a child?
Even as I returned to the mansion, the question kept bothering me.
Finally, my feet stopped outside my parents’ room.
“Sorry to disturb you so late.”
“Come in, Leri. You’re always welcome,” my mother said warmly, putting down her embroidery.
“Where’s Father?”
“Out to dinner with Count Roman. He’ll be late.”
I sat beside her, hesitating. “Mother… I don’t think I can keep your words.”
Her smile vanished. “What do you mean?”
“I… I think I’ll have to spend some time with Kashiar.”
“Leri…”
Her face hardened completely now.
“There are reasons. I can’t avoid him. But it won’t be for long. Just for a while.”
Mother sighed deeply.
“My smart, capable daughter must have her reasons. I trust your decision.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
“But, Leri… don’t get too deeply involved.”
Her tone was sharp, almost like a warning. I nodded.
“Yes. Don’t worry.”
Back in my room, I lay on the sofa in the dark.
“It doesn’t have to be me.”
Kashiar still reacted to my words like he did as a child—happy or sad at the smallest things. After eleven years, he was still that boy craving affection.
But I wasn’t the only one who could give that to him.
“There must be someone else out there. Someone kind, gentle, and loving. Someone who can stay by his side without fearing for their life like me.”
For a moment, I thought of the novel’s heroine, but shook my head. Kashiar was better off never meeting her.
Instead, I needed to find someone else—a person who could care for him in my place.
“If I do that, I don’t have to stay by his side. He’ll be happy. And I’ll survive. Perfect.”
I clenched my fists with determination.
“Alright. Just hold on until then. Until I find his substitute.”
Meanwhile…
Countess Astante, Ariel, sat silently in the living room after her daughter left. Memories surfaced of eleven years ago, when little Lerianna had sat there with a pout.
“Mom, why did Car have to leave like that?”
For a year, the two children had been precious to each other. But when Kashiar returned to the duke’s mansion, Lerianna had been upset for days before finally coming to ask.
“There was a reason, Leri.”
At only eleven, she was too young to be told the whole truth. So Ariel and her husband had hidden it, under the excuse of ‘adult matters.’
“So it couldn’t be helped?”
“Yes.”
“Even if I try hard, nothing would change?”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“So I won’t see Car again?”
“I think so.”
“…I see. Well, it can’t be helped.”
After that day, Lerianna never asked for Kashiar again. She had understood too much, too soon.
But Kashiar had not. He hadn’t been able to let go.
That was why, eleven years ago, Ariel had made that difficult choice.
