CHAPTER 33…………………………………..
Although he’d suffered wandering around in the cold air, his body felt refreshed after finally enjoying nature for a change.
“Now that I think about it, getting out into nature isn’t so bad. Staying cooped up indoors all the time can’t be good.”
Even though the land belonged to his ducal territory, he had rarely visited Mathias. He thought he should make a point to come by more often in the future.
“Come to think of it, I stopped visiting Mathias after meeting Miss Luna. I avoided coming here because it reminded me of her.”
He thought that from now on, he could come to Mathias more comfortably — and he owed that to Joyce.
He believed that nature had healed him, but in truth, it was she who had done so.
When he was with her, he neither dressed himself up nor hid or restrained who he was. He had yet to realize how light his body felt after shedding the suffocating garment of pressure.
But when she came out from washing her face — her complexion pale and tired — he was startled.
“You really did catch a cold, didn’t you?”
“No! I’m just a little sleep-deprived, that’s all.”
“Are you sensitive about sleeping? I was thinking of grabbing a meal at a nearby restaurant, but if you’re unwell, perhaps we should return to Coventin right away?”
“No, my appetite’s fine. We’ll be traveling far soon, so we should eat. I’ll just say goodbye to the children and be right back — wait here, please.”
As he watched her strangely avoid his gaze, he suddenly felt a tug on his trouser leg.
Looking down, he saw a small girl with chubby cheeks holding a huge lollipop in her mouth. She looked about five years old.
“What’s the matter?”
“Dummy. You may be handsome, but you sure act like an idiot.”
His pride cracked ever so slightly, but he decided it wasn’t worth arguing with a child.
“Ha ha, I think there’s been some kind of misunderstanding.”
He tried to laugh it off, but the child wasn’t finished needling him.
“Why do you think that lady couldn’t sleep last night? It’s all your fault.”
“What? What did I do?”
Oh no. He had just promised himself not to take the bait, yet he reacted faster than lightning.
“You disappointed her.”
“Disappointed her? I didn’t do that.”
“If you confess, something’s supposed to happen next! Yesterday was totally the perfect kiss moment, but you didn’t do it. Can you imagine how awkward she must’ve felt?”
“W–what are you…? No, wait, how would a kid like you even…? Hold on — you were awake last night?!”
A storm of questions crashed into his brain so fast he couldn’t decide which to ask first.
“Sorry, but that wasn’t a confession yesterday. I don’t have romantic feelings for her.”
He chose to explain rather than question.
“Dummy.”
The girl dismissed his excuse without hesitation.
“Do you even know who you’re calling a dummy…?”
It was the first time in his life anyone had called him stupid. He almost retorted with “I’m a duke,” but decided against it — it would only make him look pettier.
“You don’t even know your own feelings — of course you’re a dummy. From what I see, you two clearly like each other. That lady was waiting for a kiss yesterday, you know?”
At the word kiss, only Peredil’s face flushed as red as a furnace. The girl’s expression didn’t change in the slightest.
“…Then how can I know it? Those feelings you’re talking about — my own heart.”
His lips twitched nervously as he asked, feeling ridiculous for even doing so.
“Ha.”
The girl gave him a crooked smile instead of an answer, then held out her tiny hand.
“Empty-handed?”
He rummaged through his pockets and found a gold coin and a bag of candies from the restaurant dessert. He handed her the coin — enough to buy twenty giant lollipops.
“Not that one.”
She shook her head, unimpressed. Her eyes were fixed on the cheap candy in his hand.
“Hehe.”
When he gave her the candy instead, her grin stretched from ear to ear. Her giddy expression made him think her behavior was more adorable than annoying.
“You already know your own heart. You just refuse to admit it. The moment you decide to acknowledge it, you’ll realize it.”
After speaking those puzzling words, the girl vanished before he knew it.
Left alone, he replayed her words in his mind.
“Admit… huh… admit it…”
He looked at Joyce, who was laughing and playing happily with the children.
“Do I… like that woman?”
Just then, she looked back at him, and their eyes met. A shiver ran down his spine. It felt like all the air had been knocked out of him.
“Me? No way…”
He turned on his heel and headed out of the orphanage. Behind him, he heard her hurried footsteps and her voice growing louder.
“Your Grace! Wait for me! Is it because I took too long saying goodbye? I’m sorry!”
No matter how she pleaded, he didn’t stop walking.
The harder he tried not to think about it, the more the idea that he might actually like Joyce filled his mind. He quickened his pace — afraid that if he stopped, he’d have to admit it.
“No. I can’t admit it. At least… not yet.”
✦✦✦
He led me into an elegant restaurant. As expected from his refined tastes, a grand crystal chandelier hung overhead, and gentle classical music filled the air.
While cutting into the thick steak before me, I couldn’t resist asking,
“What were you talking about with Caitlin earlier?”
“Caitlin?”
He feigned ignorance, as if he hadn’t been chatting for ages with the girl just moments before.
“The kid with the lollipop the size of the Seymour family’s carriage. I saw how animated you two were while talking.”
“Ah. So her name was Caitlin.”
“Really? You didn’t even know her name? Then what were you two chatting about so happily?”
His face suddenly turned suspiciously red. Instead of eating, he started scraping his knife against an empty plate.
“Why… why are you acting like that? Did you say something I’m not supposed to hear?”
It was a light question, but his silence only made me more curious.
“W–well… she, uh… asked me how to become a diplomat.”
I immediately caught the slip in his tone. He was sweating as if he’d just improvised the story on the spot. Distrust began to bloom inside me.
“Caitlin?”
“Yes, Caitlin.”
“The Caitlin who fell asleep right as your speech started?”
“Ah, yes. She said she closed her eyes because she was moved — to better savor the moment.”
“So you didn’t know her name, but you remembered her face?”
“I tend to remember people by image rather than name.”
He tried to answer smoothly, but the awkward energy was palpable. Still, seeing him struggle to cover it up, I decided to let it go.
“If even stoic Caitlin was eager to talk to you, she must really want to become a diplomat.”
“Stoic? I didn’t think so. She just really liked candy.”
“Do you know why Caitlin’s so obsessed with candy?”
He didn’t reply, but I continued anyway.
“Her real mother once gave her a lollipop and said, ‘I’ll be back before it melts, so be good and wait for me.’”
His blank face finally turned toward me, listening.
“Of course, she never came back. So Caitlin kept eating candy — she thought as long as she was still eating, her mom would have time to return.”
“The mother abandoned her child.”
“Who knows? Maybe she never intended to come back. Or maybe she wanted to — but something happened.”
“Something happened?”
He slammed the table hard, the sound echoing. His fist clenched as anger flared in his voice.
“There’s no excuse for that. Parents must take responsibility for the children they bring into the world.”
“Ha ha, if only Your Grace could tell that to my parents, I’d die happy.”
“Woodville?”
He tilted his head, then quickly realized his mistake — his face showed that he thought he’d said too much. He glanced at me cautiously.
“I meant my original parents.”
Right — not the parents of this world’s Joyce, whom I’d never met, but my real ones.
His face twisted into an expression of deep regret and guilt. My own, however, stayed perfectly calm. I had no real emotions left about it.
“My dad ran off with another woman, so I gave up on him long ago. As for my mom — she left me without a word. I still don’t know why. So I tell myself maybe she had her reasons. It’s easier to think that than to believe she abandoned me on purpose.”
I said it lightly, because truly, it no longer hurt. It was just an old scar, faded and distant.
“It must not have been easy to say that so calmly. Thank you for telling me — I feel like we’ve grown closer.”
“Hmph. Of course we have. Because…”
