Chapter 75
“Huff.”
The very moment the mirror reflecting Razerdin shattered, my consciousness was sucked back, as if being pulled into the golden space where the elf and I had been floating.
The hazy mist that had always veiled my past memories vanished, as if it had never existed in the first place.
Not only was the mist gone, but even my original memories became vivid, brightened as though they had been painted over with color.
From my childhood until now—every event that had happened to me since I had gained reason flashed before my eyes as though it were happening right now.
How old I was, when and where, what clothes I wore, what expression I had—everything was crystal clear.
In an instant, an enormous flood of information surged into my mind and began to settle.
The splitting headache lasted only a moment, before something warm trickled down along the curve of my cheek. With trembling hands, I brushed my face.
“…I’m, crying?”
Me?
Thin streams of tears were flowing silently. I could feel emotions surging violently inside me, as if they were about to burst.
Ah, I see.
Instead of wiping them away, I closed my eyes and curled up slowly.
These were simply tears that revealed the truth: what I thought I had already overcome, I truly had not.
Memories I had tried so desperately to erase and suppress poured into my mind.
The time when I wanted nothing more than to collapse. When I broke, fell to the very depths, rolled through jagged places, and believed I would never rise again.
Rather than trample those memories and stand again, the weak, childish me chose to repress them, to forget, and fled from the agony of those days.
How much time passed, I do not know.
—It’s okay.
Along with a tender voice that brushed through my mind, I slowly uncurled my body.
Ah… Even then, and even now, you are the one who gave me strength. You were the light that shone into a life filled only with darkness.
The tears that had flowed endlessly finally ceased. When I opened my eyes, a small girl in rags stood before me.
Her rough, tangled black hair stuck out in all directions, and through it shone two mismatched eyes, like a cat’s odd-eyes.
The child I once was gazed up at me with golden and silver eyes. Her empty, hollow pupils reflected my figure.
“…Will you abandon me?”
Amid the silence, the little girl’s lips moved softly.
I stared quietly back at myself.
Her figure grew, until the girl became an adult—myself, yet not.
At a glance, she looked like my twin. But in her eyes dwelled profound emptiness. She was withered, hollow, destroyed by betrayal from the person she loved.
The me from that time—weak, powerless, blaming only myself, trying to let go of everything.
It was only two years ago, yet the difference from who I was now was stark.
“Will you abandon me?”
The woman—no, I myself—stood face-to-face with me, asking once again.
I slowly shook my head.
Then, step by step, I drew close and embraced that familiar body.
I felt myself flinch, but soon, she leaned into me obediently.
“I won’t abandon you.”
I whispered while holding myself close.
I had been withered and hollow. The memories alone brought pain. But it was me, nonetheless.
Because of all that, I am who I am now.
I will not cast it away.
I will carry it all—but I will not be trapped in a prison of suffering that I created for myself.
I will lay those agonies beneath me as a foundation, and step forward upon them.
A human’s life lasts barely a hundred years. Such a short time. I wasted nearly twenty years in anguish. In those precious years when I should have moved forward, I had remained a little child.
But no longer.
The time trapped in pain ends here.
And besides, I was no longer alone.
Lerdin, Callios, Lucy, Christina, the princess… I had so many precious people now.
The past version of me in my arms quietly faded away.
—…Forgive me, child of man.
As I lingered in the heavy aftertaste of emotion, a familiar voice suddenly echoed in my head, forcing my eyes open.
—Forgive me, human. But you were the most suitable. Please understand that this was something we had to do.
I recalled what I had been doing before being dragged into those memories, and looked at the radiant elf before me.
That I was “suitable.” That it “had to be this way.” That I must remember the moment of blood.
The words the elf had spoken came back to me, tangled and incomprehensible.
Clear memories did not suddenly make past mysteries understandable.
The golden-haired elf, who had been silently staring at me with unreadable eyes, finally spoke.
—The story is long. Sit.
Two chairs appeared in the golden void, followed by steaming teacups.
The elf continued.
—It has been a long time since humans began to believe elves were extinct.
I sat carefully on the plush chair, accepted the teacup drifting to me, and listened intently.
With a wave of the elf’s hand, an image appeared in the air.
The scene made me frown. Elves were being hunted mercilessly by humans.
—There was once a time when humans and elves lived together. But as the years passed, humans began to reject us, who looked and lived differently, until they began to oppress us.
The elf lowered their gaze, as if recalling painful memories.
—We chose to shut the gates of the forests, hiding ourselves from humans’ eyes. We could have fought, but their numbers far outstripped ours. It would only have become a mire of endless bloodshed.
There had been battles before. But unlike humans, elves were close to living organisms born directly of nature, making us especially vulnerable to corruption by malice. In the end, some fell, and so we cut ties with humanity completely.
The image shifted—from a dark elf, blackened and screaming, to a serene forest.
Children with pointed ears laughed and ran through meadows, while beautiful elves strolled beneath the trees.
—For centuries we remained hidden, and humans decided on their own that we were extinct. Our lives are far longer than theirs. Save for war, it was rare for us to die before our time. Extinction should have been unthinkable. Or so we believed.
The elf smiled faintly at the peaceful vision, but soon sorrow clouded their face.
—But then, at some point, our numbers across the continent plummeted. Our power waned, the great barrier weakened. Peaceful villages vanished. Even the forest I once protected became a ruin, devoid of elves. And from here, the story concerns you directly.
The elf hesitated, drawing a breath.
—As our kin dwindled, we had to find a way.
After a long silence, sorrow and guilt tangled in their eyes as they spoke again.
—Our magic, our blood, our power born of nature—we had to preserve it, no matter the cost. Thus began…
The elf trailed off, but I knew what came next.
I remembered the golden liquid that had seeped into my arm.
Elf blood.
—We began injecting our blood into human children.
The elf glanced at me, as though gauging my reaction, but I showed nothing and listened.
—Our blood differs from humans’. Every drop is a vessel of our power. To preserve it, we passed it into humans. We experimented on countless children.
—Aaaagh! Aaaaahhh!
—Stop, please stop…!
Memories of unbearable pain tore through my mind.
And many others… had felt that same agony.
Revulsion rose within me, and I covered my mouth.
—The results were horrific. We knew this was not something that could be forgiven with a simple apology. But… we had no choice.
I steadied my breath and nodded for him to go on. There was no point blaming him now. He wasn’t the one who had ordered my mother to inject me with elf blood.
—Only two survived: the silver-haired man, and you.
Razerdin and I.
—But only you, whose very body transformed to accept our blood, truly succeeded. Thus, on behalf of my vanished kin, I render judgment.
Judgment?
I looked up at the elf. He smiled faintly, though guilt weighed heavy in his eyes.
Golden light burst from his hands.
—I entrust to you all that we were, heir of our kin. You are human, yet you bear the power of elves. You will be a unique, singular existence. Please, wield our strength well.
Those faraway words were the last thing I heard before blinding light engulfed my vision.
Agony seared me, as though my body were burning alive. My mouth opened to scream, but no sound came out.
—Thump, thump.
My heart pounded louder and louder.
It felt like being plunged into boiling lava, then pulled out, over and over, hundreds of times.
How much time passed, I could not tell.
At last, the pain faded like smoke, leaving only silence.
I felt control of my body return.
Fresh air filled my lungs.
And I opened my eyes.
