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“What on earth… what do you mean?”
Lucious couldn’t hide his bewilderment at Rael’s sudden question. Would you still have married Tiana, and continued to love her, if she weren’t the “current” Tiana? Even coming from Rael, such a question felt absurd.
A breath surged up in his chest, and he forced it back down. Normally, Lucious would never react like this, but right now he wanted to shoot back immediately. Of course—no matter what kind of Tiana she was—he would have married her and loved her all the same. He was certain of that. So then why…
…Why can’t I bring myself to say it out loud?
The answer was already clear. There wasn’t a single doubt in his heart about his feelings for her. Yet the words refused to come.
And he thought he knew why. Because if he answered Rael now, he wouldn’t be able to answer honestly.
Because it doesn’t feel obvious. Because I can’t simply say “even if she weren’t the Tiana of now, it would be fine.” Why is that?
Tiana was Tiana. The woman he loved, without a doubt. Whether before she lost her memory or after, she was the same person. So why couldn’t he confidently say “yes”? The feeling hovered on the edge of understanding yet remained elusive. Lucious was at a loss.
As Lucious stayed silent, weighed down by thought, Rael finally spoke again, slowly.
“You must be wondering why I asked you this. To get to the point—it’s because you need to know. For the sake of your lost past, your present, and even your future.”
“…I don’t understand what you mean.”
“I know. You’re confused. And the more you listen, the more confused you may become. You may even deny it. But regardless, this is something you need to know. It’s important—so I hope you’ll take it in, slowly.”
“…Very well.”
Rael gave him plenty of time. He knew just how much confusion his words might cause, and at the very least, he wanted to soften the impact.
“Please… tell me.”
Lucious steadied himself thanks to Rael’s patience, and met his gaze. His golden eyes still trembled faintly, and Rael let out a quiet sigh before continuing.
“Lucious. Do you remember the duchess before her riding accident? Not the woman she is now.”
“…Yes, I remember.”
“Good. You may not want to, but you can’t have forgotten. After all, the duchess of today is nothing like the woman before the accident.”
“…”
Hearing Rael’s voice heavy with disbelief, Lucious lowered his eyes. He didn’t need Rael to point it out—he already knew. Even when he tried to suppress it, the memory of her coldness before the accident sometimes rose unbidden.
Rael clasped his hands atop his knees and spoke again.
“Then let me ask you another question. Do you remember the original duchess? The one from long before—the young lady of House Celeste, before the carriage accident?”
“…Do you mean, when I first met her?”
“That’s right.”
“Of course I remember.”
“In a good sense?”
“…Yes.”
Some color returned to Lucious’s face, his expression brightening slightly as he nodded. That first meeting with Tiana had remained with him as a warm, unforgettable memory. He had never forgotten who she originally was.
“What kind of person was she, then—the true daughter of House Celeste?”
“She was bright, warm, with a pure, beautiful smile. Her emotions ran deep. She showed her weaknesses at times, yet also displayed remarkable strength… She was that kind of person.”
The words spilled easily at first, but faltered toward the end. Frowning faintly, Lucious forced himself to finish, feeling as though he was repeating himself. Rael pretended not to notice and nodded.
“Yes. That’s right.”
“…Why do you ask me this?”
“Because I know the truth about your relationship with her. About three years ago, when you first met the young lady of House Celeste, you were drawn to each other at a glance. Alexandra told me so, and she was there at the time, so it’s credible. And of course, even afterward, anyone could see it—you and she grew fond of each other.”
“…Was it really that obvious?”
“To Alexandra and me, it certainly was.”
How could it not have been? Even from the beginning, the way you two looked at each other had been unmistakable. Rael let his words carry a teasing edge, watching as Lucious flushed. Then, with a faint smile, he added:
“She left an impression on me as well, when I first met her. So bright and full of energy, yet capable of a serious depth when the moment called for it. She was a young lady full of charm. But then… a single accident changed her completely.”
“You mean the accident two years ago? That was a serious accident indeed. Her carriage overturned—it’s a miracle she only lost her memories and nothing more.”
“Yes, exactly. Losing only her memories in such a great accident was fortunate. But don’t you think it’s a little strange?”
“…Strange? In what way?”
“She lost only her memories two years ago, but afterward she became like a completely different person. And yet this time—after another accident of a similar kind—again she lost only her memories, but she did not become someone else. In fact, she seems to have returned closer to her original self.”
“…”
Lucious shut his mouth. He almost answered reflexively—yes. The very answer he had been unable to give earlier. Now, he was beginning to understand why Rael had led him through so many questions.
This was his real point.
“Lucious. Even though she lost her memories, didn’t you feel the duchess now was closer to who she truly was? When you saw her again, spoke with her, lived with her—you must have noticed familiar glimpses of the woman you once knew.”
“….”
“And you must have felt it too—that the ‘in-between’ version of her was someone else entirely. No, that she was another person.”
“…!”
“Am I wrong? Can’t you, this time at least, say ‘yes’ with certainty?”
“Brother, that’s…”
Perhaps because Rael had struck at his true feelings, Lucious slipped and called him “brother,” his composure breaking. He couldn’t bring himself to say more, but Rael didn’t need him to. He could already hear the unspoken words.
“…Yes. You’re right.”
“…”
“Between the carriage accident and the riding accident… the Tiana of that time—I didn’t believe she was truly her.”
At last, Lucious admitted it. Rael smiled quietly, listening to the answer he had been expecting all along.
“She never once looked at me with the same eyes. She never spoke to me in that cold voice, nor struck me with such harsh words. And then… suddenly, she changed, as if overnight, into someone else entirely.”
There was no point in hiding it any longer. Slowly, Lucious poured his thoughts out. His gaze fell to the cooled tea before him, and a bitter smile touched his lips.
“At first, I thought it was because of her memory loss. That she had forgotten everything, including me. I believed that as she regained her memories, she would return to the woman I had first known. But I was wrong. She grew only more distant.”
“No matter how great the memory loss, it isn’t easy for someone to become a completely different person. Wasn’t there something unusual about her? Did you ever feel anything odd?”
“Odd… At the time, I was weighed down by my own despair. It was hard enough just to endure. But… yes, there was one thing. No… perhaps more than one, but it felt like the same thread.”
“What was it?”
Lucious hesitated. Should I even say this? Once he spoke it, there would be no going back. And yet… he felt he had to. Only by saying this could he move forward.
After a long pause, he raised his eyes to Rael and spoke slowly.
“Overall… I felt a sense of rejection from her. And she herself seemed to harbor an equally strong rejection of people. I don’t know why. But for me, instinctively, something in me said ‘this is not her.’”
It wasn’t that his love had vanished. His heart for Tiana remained unchanged. But the more she ignored him, scorned him, the more that rejection grew inside him.
“Of course, she was unstable then. I understood, in a way, why she acted that way toward me. But… perhaps I didn’t truly understand her after all. I suppose I failed to protect her heart.”
“No. That’s not it.”
Rael shook his head firmly, cutting off Lucious’s self-reproach. He leaned forward, his expression strangely alight with something close to joy.
Joy? Why does he look pleased…? Lucious thought in confusion.
Rael’s voice was filled with unconcealed gladness as he continued:
“Lucious. That instinct you had—that feeling that she was ‘not her’—you were right. You couldn’t understand her. In fact, you didn’t need to.”
“…What do you mean?”
“Two people who cannot understand each other can never truly connect. The shell may have looked the same, but the soul inside was different. Of course you felt repelled.”
“…The soul, inside?”
“In short, the duchess of that time was another soul entirely—another person.”
“…!”
The unbelievable truth crashed down upon Lucious.
