Chapter 73
It wasn’t only him who noticed that Herwin liked Lucia. Their friends also whispered quietly whenever the two of them were together.
“Look at that guy’s eyes. They’re practically dripping honey.”
“I knew from the start. At the beginning of the semester, whenever I was talking to Lucia, he’d appear out of nowhere and butt in.”
Understanding Herwin’s feelings, their friends tacitly and subtly made space for the two to spend time together.
Of course, sometimes Bianca cluelessly interfered between them, but they quietly supported Herwin’s unrequited love.
Then, on Herwin’s birthday, that incident happened.
“I didn’t think Lucia liked Herwin too.”
“It’s great that they feel the same way, but of all things, the whole school had to hear about it…”
“Bianca, you little—! Because of you, they grew even more distant!”
On Herwin’s birthday, Lucia was humiliated in front of the entire school. From the next day onward, she avoided not just Herwin but also their friends.
It was obvious how deeply she had been hurt, and one could only imagine how much she resented Bianca.
Still, because Herwin felt the same way as Lucia, it was hoped that they could resolve the situation through conversation.
Perhaps there was even a wish that if the two truly got together, they could completely overturn the rumors spreading across the school.
However, for anyone watching, the two remained awkwardly distant. Luckily, by the end-of-term ceremony, it seemed like they had grown closer again, though it was unclear if they had confessed their feelings.
Their normal interactions suggested only that dating might just be a matter of time.
It was already a given that Lucia liked Herwin, and he seemed to like her too—wouldn’t it be inevitable that they’d eventually get together?
But even as time passed, through the second semester, second year, and into third year, their relationship remained the same.
Sometimes they appeared as close as lovers, but at other times, just like friends.
“Are they secretly dating behind our backs?”
“But if that were true, wouldn’t it be a bit more obvious?”
“I don’t think they’re dating. They hardly ever act separately.”
“Still, sometimes they disappear together and then reappear.”
Only speculation ran wild, but no one could really know if Herwin and Lucia were a couple.
And that continued until Lucia appeared with Vern.
“If they were dating but didn’t tell anyone, it’d be disappointing. But if they really weren’t, I would’ve tried to set you two up no matter what. Sometimes Ethan and Brian played pranks on you guys—it was all meant to bring you and Lucia together.”
Hearing Arista’s words left Herwin confused.
Yes, it was true that he liked Lucia. Even if he hadn’t realized it, he had liked her even before attending the academy.
But Arista and the others had recognized his feelings first?
“I….”
Finally, Herwin spoke, and Arista perked up.
“I liked you…”
“……….”
Hearing Herwin say this while staring straight at her left Arista momentarily stunned.
As understanding slowly dawned on her, shock began to spread across her face.
“What, what? Me? You?”
For a brief moment, Arista was flustered, but then she noticed the dry, serious look in Herwin’s eyes as he said he liked her.
Calming down slowly, she stared at him with a fixed expression.
“‘Liked’… past tense.”
Herwin nodded. The unexpected turn made her head ache. Arista squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed her forehead.
“When did you… like me?”
“When you saved me from Ogar.”
It had been a long time ago, and Arista shut her eyes tightly.
“And until when did you think you liked me?”
“Probably until two weeks ago.”
“What? Two weeks ago?”
Arista, who had assumed it had been only during academy days at most, was shocked to hear he had liked her until recently.
She had never imagined that Herwin could like her. No, if he had liked her, he would surely have shown signs. It was truly strange.
Many boys had liked her before, and noticing their feelings was always easy.
But Herwin had shown no signs at all. She had assumed he liked Lucia…
Thinking of Lucia made Arista pale.
“You’re not telling me that Lucia knows you liked me, are you?”
Herwin lowered his head, and Arista’s mouth fell open.
Her shoulders trembled as she got up and struck Herwin’s head.
“You idiot! Are you crazy?! Why would you say that?! Lucia likes you so much! When did she even find out!”
“Since the beginning of first year.”
It matched the timeline of when Herwin said he had liked her.
Arista recalled how Lucia had avoided her back then.
Realizing that it had almost driven a wedge between her and Lucia made her blood boil.
“Damn it…!”
Arista struggled to swallow the curse rising to her throat. She barely held back her anger and ran her hands through her hair.
“Could it be that the reason Lucia said she would get engaged to another man was that?”
“…Right after she confessed to me, she brought the fiancé.”
“She confessed?”
Arista knew Lucia liked Herwin but didn’t know she had confessed.
She hadn’t sensed anything like that since the incident on Herwin’s birthday in first year…
Suddenly, Arista’s mind snapped back, and she looked at Herwin.
“Could it be that she used me as an excuse to reject the confession?”
Herwin remained silent. As it all fit together, Arista let out a sigh.
She had never imagined something like this had happened between Lucia and Herwin. Even less that she would be caught in the middle.
Though she had done nothing wrong, she couldn’t bear to look at Lucia.
‘What could Lucia possibly have felt…’
If she had been in the same situation, liking someone who liked her friend…
Arista pressed her lips together, then glared sharply at Herwin.
“Why exactly did you like me? Because I saved you from Ogar? Or because we were sparring partners?”
“…I felt something different, something special from you, unlike others.”
“What kind of special feeling?”
“Well… being with you was fun, not boring, and it felt like my skills improved just by being around you.”
Listening to him, she realized that for someone who said he liked her, there was no trace of affectionate love or tender feelings.
“Then let me ask again. Did you want to date me?”
Herwin hesitated and shook his head.
“Did you ever imagine kissing me?”
Again, he shook his head.
“How would you have felt if I got engaged to someone else like Lucia?”
“…I would have hoped to meet the perfect man.”
“And that person wasn’t me, right?”
“Yeah.”
Indeed, he hadn’t liked her.
If he truly liked her, he would have confessed, or at least imagined dating or being engaged to her.
‘…Like me.’
Arista thought briefly of Lucas and shook her head.
“Another question. How did you feel when Lucia said she would get engaged to Marquis Casper?”
Before Herwin could answer, his smooth forehead crumpled instantly.
“I felt… strange…”
“When Lucia went on a date holding another man’s hand?”
“I wanted to interfere.”
“…When Lucia kissed Marquis Casper?”
“If I had been there…!”
The difference in his answers was clear. If it was this easy to see the truth, why had he struggled with his own feelings?
“…Do you know why we thought you liked Lucia?”
Herwin, fists trembling in anger, lifted his head.
“When you looked at Lucia, your eyes always looked like someone in love.”
“…Me?”
“Yes. You didn’t glance at anyone else, paid no attention to others, and yet all your focus was on Lucia. Whenever something happened to her, you noticed before anyone else.”
From a third-person perspective, Herwin’s gaze toward Lucia was obvious.
His eyes always followed her.
If she disappeared somewhere, he found out instantly, even among people with similar brown hair, and he never missed the slightest reaction from her.
Though his expression seemed a little curt when their eyes met, his red eyes were filled only with Lucia.
“You didn’t like me. Even your answers now clearly show that.”
“Then what was the feeling I had for you?”
“Well… maybe admiration?”
Admiration is only a step away from love. It’s a feeling that makes the other person special. The difference from love is whether you see them as a romantic interest.
“…Why did I even feel that way?”
Herwin’s voice was heavy with regret.
Everyone else knew his feelings, but he didn’t…
With a dying voice, he murmured,
“Maybe my standards were too high.”
“Standards?”
“My standard was always Lucia.”
Lucia gave everything to him—her devotion was overwhelming. Her blind love for him was absolute.
He felt he didn’t like her as much in comparison.
“I thought love meant being able to give back everything Lucia gives. But you’re different from Lucia. You give me other feelings, so I mistook them for liking you.”
And perhaps he assumed Lucia would always be there since she only liked him.
“What a foolish thought.”
“Ha… yes. Foolish indeed.”
His exhausted voice carried a trace of moisture.
Though thinking he was a complete fool, Arista felt a little sorry for him.
“You like Lucia, right?”
“No… I love her.”
Compared to when he said he liked Arista, his voice now carried deep emotion.
“You love Lucia, yet you’re just going to sit there drinking alone?”
Herwin lifted his lowered head.
“If you stay like this, Lucia will be gone to another man forever. Then you’ll have no more chances.”
“That is…”
Herwin’s hand twitched. He pressed his lips tightly together and clenched his fists.
“Am I allowed to do that?”
“What?”
“Lucia no longer relies on me. She might have completely given up her feelings. But can I still approach her? If she’s happy…”
Seeing Lucia kiss Vern, he felt there was no place for him to intervene.
Even though he had pushed her away before, now he wondered if she would trust him if he confessed. He was even scared to speak.
“Already whining without even starting?”
The sharp rebuke hit Herwin’s ears.
“Are you sure you won’t regret it? If you don’t even start and just worry alone, missing everything, you’ll regret it even more later.”
“……….”
“Now it’s your turn. You have to take courage first.”
Arista’s words struck him. He recalled Lucia’s bright smile.
He didn’t even want to imagine another man by her side.
“Thanks, Arista.”
Herwin abruptly stood up, looking as if he had made a decision.
The staff hurried after him as he left.
Alone, Arista stared at the empty sofa in front of her and muttered,
“Regret…”
Her words applied to Herwin, but perhaps also to herself.
Arista slowly repeated the word “regret” in her mind.
