CHAPTER 13

“But then… you show up in front of me like this?”

Her sadness slowly began turning into anger. Her teeth were trembling from fear, but Yurie tried her best not to show it.

“You appear so casually, lost in your stupid self-pity.”

“……”

“And now, after all this time… you don’t even remember anything.”

She had no idea what she could possibly say to make him feel even slightly better.

“Do you think you can just act like you understand everything?”

He didn’t give Yurie a chance to speak. His harsh words kept pouring out.

“You must have slept peacefully, not even dreaming. While you were sleeping comfortably, we were seeing our sister burning to death in our dreams.”

“……”

“And when you were living your carefree life, we were living in our sister’s shadow.”

“I… I really—”

“Shut up. I’m not done talking.”

He looked like someone unable to control his own rage. His face turned pale. He was gasping for breath. The strength in the hand gripping Yurie’s arm slowly weakened, and her expression turned completely pale.

Even if Yurie had been the one who brought his sister out, was it really her fault? She bit her lip. At the time, she had only been eight years old—too young to understand what evil meant, or what kind of malice her mother carried.

But still, she had been involved in that murder. And because of that, she had already decided to accept whatever would come next. No matter what happened to her, she would endure the consequences calmly.

“And then you lived your life pretending to be the most miserable person in the world… as if you suffered the most.”

“……”

“It’s ridiculous.”

His mocking laughter shook her.

“Keep living like that. Live your whole life miserable and struggling.”

So I’m full of self-pity?

Looking back, her entire life had felt like she was constantly underwater. Like she had never once been able to breathe properly. She would have accepted even a harsher punishment for that crime, even if it made her life more miserable.

But her heart didn’t accept it so easily. She felt angry. She wanted to tell him that she had her own life too—that she wasn’t just someone defined by that past.

“Ah… no.”

“……What?”

“I… I won’t… live a miserable life.”

“What?”

It was hard. There were always frightening things happening, and it was painful to be hated by strangers she didn’t even know. But still, she didn’t think of herself as someone who was simply “unhappy.”

Instead of crying and getting angry over misery, Yurie chose to look at what she had. There was a woman who sometimes gave her cookies, and an old man who cared for her.

“I… I don’t think I’ve been… u-unhappy!”

No one truly has nothing.

Because of that, she cherished those small things more. They were precious to her, so she couldn’t call her life entirely miserable.

“L-like you said… I… I may have fallen into self-pity before.”

For such a short life, it already felt like too much regret.

“But… I don’t think everything… everything I have is miserable!”

“…So. Are you saying you were happy?”

“I… I think I was, in my own way…”

“Say that again.”

The price of his anger was cruel. The moment their eyes met, chills ran through her entire body. Her hands trembled, and her whole body shook so violently her teeth clattered.

I’m scared! I want to run away!

It was killing intent—hatred so strong it carried the desire to kill. Even adult men like Adres couldn’t easily endure it. There was no way Yurie could withstand it.

I shouldn’t have said anything… I should have just knelt and apologized.

She wanted to step back, but the hand gripping her shoulder wouldn’t let her escape. His voice turned dark.

“Let’s see how happy you can be after killing my sister.”

“……”

“You half-witted girl.”

He pushed her away and left the room. The door slammed shut.

Her back hit the desk behind her, sending pain through her spine.

What just happened?

Yurie closed her eyes. But even if she tried to remember, nothing came back. The white dress she wore was slowly staining as if soaked in ink.

She felt unusually heavy that night. She thought she would fall asleep immediately, but even that wasn’t easy. She kept waking up and drifting off again and again. After repeating it so many times, she could no longer tell whether she was dreaming or awake.

“…Did I really do that?”

No matter how hard she tried, her memory felt completely blocked. Exhausted, she closed her eyes again. Fear lingered—what if Adres came and tried to strangle her?

“Then I…”

A tear fell. Then another.

She had lived with pride, believing she had not committed any crime. At times, she had even felt wronged for the punishment she received because of her mother.

Yurie was human. She simply felt emotions more faintly than others, not that she didn’t feel anger or pain.

“…What should I do?”

After crying for a long time, she closed her eyes again, exhausted.

It was the sound of a tightly shut window opening that woke her.

“…Wh-who…?”

Startled, she sat up immediately. Was it the intruder from before? She grabbed her blanket tightly, fear rising.

But there was no voice.

Only her own echoed in the room.

She lay back down again. Perhaps she was too exhausted—she closed her eyes once more. Reality felt unbearable.

When night deepened, she finally fell into a light sleep. Moonlight streamed through the slightly open window.

“…Who…”

A gentle breeze brushed her cheek, waking her again.

Someone was standing above her.

A… big dog?

It was far larger than a sofa. This had to be a dream.

Yurie hated dogs—or rather, she was afraid of them. Ever since being bitten as a child, she had feared them.

“It must be a nightmare…”

She had already fallen asleep and woken up seven times. This must be another dream. She closed her eyes again.

“…If it’s not a dream?”

The dog spoke.

A talking dog—definitely a dream.

She waved her hand lazily.

“I… I had a scary dream today…”

“So?”

“I… I’m going to sleep now…”

She turned away.

A scoffing sound came from behind her, but she ignored it.

“Why are you crying?”

A large red-furred dog placed its paw over her face.

“…Me?”

“Yes. You’ve been crying all along.”

“I… I’m not crying.”

“Don’t lie—it’ll be obvious soon.”

It kept bothering her sleep.

“Your father would be very pleased if he saw you like this.”

“M-my father… hates me.”

“…Your father? That’s news to me.”

“He… he wouldn’t like me.”

Tears began falling again.

She couldn’t even love herself, so why would her father?

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“P-please listen…”

“Alright. Speak.”

Her pillow slowly became wet.

“I… I don’t want to get married…”

“That makes sense. You’re still young.”

“My father… said we should live together…”

“That so?”

“It… it was all a lie.”

She couldn’t say the rest.

She cried instead.

“I… I’m really… having a hard time.”

“Yes.”

“I’m scared… of the young masters… it hurts…”

“Keep talking.”

“I… I’m in pain too…”

He gently patted her.

It was the first time anyone had listened to her like this. Slowly, she began pouring out everything she had kept inside.

“Even teachers… are scary…”

“Yes. And?”

“I don’t know… how I can survive here…”

At that moment, she burst into tears.

“Don’t cry.”

The dog’s paw turned into a human hand.

He gently wiped her tears.

“What is there to be sad about? It’s not your fault.”

His calm voice made her tears slowly stop.

His face was hidden in the darkness.

She covered her face with the blanket.

Her face must be a mess.

“There will be good days ahead.”

“…How do you know?”

“Intuition.”

He continued patting her like a child.

Soon, she drifted into sleep.

And for the first time in a long time, she thought—this dream wasn’t a bad one.