YAIMF 34 🍒

Chapter — 34
His Painful Past (1)

“A first love I can’t even remember anymore—it’s not that important.”

Those words wouldn’t leave her mind. Was it because she didn’t fully believe him? Or because… Saena stopped there and let out a quiet sigh.

“I can’t remember.”

In dramas, this was usually the moment when memories suddenly came back. Especially since they had been in a de facto marriage before—living together, even. She had only been with him for about a week now, but she was constantly being stimulated by familiar things. So why didn’t even a single memory return? That was what confused her.

“Why is that?”

Saena dropped down onto the edge of the bed. Slowly, she looked around the room. Everything she saw was neat and orderly. That was all. Nothing helped her recover the memories she had lost.

“Did he say this was my first time at the main house?”

Well, he had said they lived somewhere else before. So it was natural that this place felt unfamiliar. She had to accept what she could accept in order to move forward.

“Saena, you mustn’t stay in the past. Only by leaving the past behind can you take the next step.”

At that moment, the gentle voice of a middle-aged man brushed through her mind. Saena’s breath caught in her throat. It felt as if the voice was gripping her neck, making her chest feel tight, and her heart throbbed strangely.

“What… what is this? Is it someone I know?”

No matter how hard she tried to remember, she couldn’t grasp anything at all. It felt like she was flailing alone in empty air. The emptiness and frustration made her feel like she might cry for no reason.

“I don’t even know what I’m doing.”

Saena squeezed her eyes shut and lay flat on the bed, arms and legs spread out.

“Losing your memories… it’s really sad and lonely.”

It felt like she was standing alone in an empty field. The fact that she couldn’t even remember whose voice had just echoed in her mind made her feel utterly pathetic. Just then, there was a knock at the door, and Haman-daek called out to her.

“Miss Saena, I’m heading over to the main house now.”

Haman-daek… If it was her, maybe she knew something. Saena jumped up and opened the door.

“I’m not disturbing your rest, am I?”

“No, it’s fine. Um… are you busy right now?”

“I wouldn’t say I’m busy. Do you have something to say?”

Haman-daek looked worried, as if wondering whether Saena was feeling unwell again. Saena shook her head, signaling that there was no need to worry. Then she stepped aside slightly to let her in and spoke.

“I have something I want to ask.”

Since beating around the bush wasn’t her style, Saena directly asked by combining what the taxi driver had mentioned about Ji-un’s first love with what Ji-un himself had told her. Haman-daek blinked a few times, then burst into cheerful laughter. She laughed so hard that she even wiped tears from her eyes.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I almost had a heart attack for a moment.”

She must have thought something serious had happened. Saena appreciated the concern, but she hadn’t expected this kind of reaction.

“Please stop laughing. I’m already dying of embarrassment.”

“Haha! Oh dear, I’m sorry. Ahem. So, you’re curious about our young master’s first love?”

“Yes. I heard that before he met me—so basically—he hadn’t… met anyone at all.”

Ji-hye had told her that, but Ji-hye herself had only recently come to Korea and had just found out that Saena and Ji-un had been in a de facto marriage. Thinking that there might be another past of Ji-un that even Ji-hye didn’t know about made Saena’s heart strangely boil with unease.

“Ha… that’s why I find it so fascinating.”

“What do you mean?”

“Who would’ve thought our young master would even know how to date such a pretty young lady?”

Her words sounded oddly meaningful. But Saena didn’t know how to ask further. As if reading Saena’s feelings, Haman-daek took both of her hands and gently stroked the backs of them as she spoke.

“You have no idea how grateful I am to you, Miss Saena.”

“To me?”

“When you live long enough, you come to understand something about life. Living in a big, beautiful house, or having more money than you could ever spend—even until death—that doesn’t necessarily make you happy. Our young master is like that.”

For a moment, Saena thought of the grandmother she had seen at the nursing hospital. The image of her flying into a rage and even throwing a drink flashed through her mind.

“I don’t think it’s right for me to meddle in someone else’s family affairs, but given our young master’s personality, he would never talk about it himself.”

“Is it… because of his grandmother?”

When Saena asked carefully, Haman-daek looked briefly surprised, then nodded.

“You already knew? Then I suppose you know most of it.”

“No, not really… just…”

“Yes, that’s right. Our young master doesn’t easily grow attached to people. He used to be a normal child—quick to tears, full of affection, and always smiling. But after madam became that way, everything changed.”

“Madam?”

She was probably referring to Ji-un’s mother. Now that she thought about it, she remembered hearing that both of his parents had passed away. She felt a heaviness in her chest, wondering if she had asked something she shouldn’t have. Haman-daek, as if recalling those days vividly, nodded slowly with a troubled expression and continued.

“The chairman had an only daughter. That precious daughter fell in love with a man whose background nobody knew. Even to my eyes, he wasn’t the right kind of man—so imagine how it looked to the chairman.”

Despite their difficult circumstances, he had raised his daughter like a treasure. Afraid she might be swept away by the harsh world, he disciplined her strictly. Perhaps because of that, when she had just been accepted into university, she met Ji-un’s father, who lived freely, and fell for him at first sight.

“He opposed it fiercely. He even made her take a leave of absence from school. And then…”

Haman-daek let out a deep sigh, as if she herself had lived through it, and gazed at the endless vineyard outside. Through the narrow path cutting across those grapevines, the two had run away together. Hearing that, Saena was left speechless.

“It was unbelievable. But our chairman was truly ruthless. Even though it was the daughter he cherished so dearly, he could have found her easily if he wanted to. Yet he left her alone for a full eight years.”

“Then…”

“Yes. Eight years later, madam appeared again, and she was no better than a beggar. It looked like she had fled without even properly putting on her shoes. She was in rags, carrying our seven-year-old young master with her.”

The image of that day was still vivid in Haman-daek’s mind. Ji-un’s mother, once so beautiful, looked utterly miserable. Yet Ji-un, holding tightly to his mother’s hand and looking up, was unbelievably lovely.

“Those bright, sparkling eyes—it was like stars were embedded in them. He was so beautiful. We brought them in and fed them first. He must have been starving, because he ate so desperately.”

Thinking of Ji-un as he was now, it was hard to imagine. Haman-daek, as if understanding Saena’s feelings, looked down at their joined hands and let out a deep breath.

“When I came out after putting the young master to bed in the inner quarters, I heard madam’s wailing. In this house, you’re supposed to pretend you didn’t hear or see anything—but how could I?”

Her husband had been taken by loan sharks and was about to have his organs harvested, she said, begging desperately for money. But the chairman’s heart was just as cold as it had been when she first ran away.

‘If he has any organs left to sell, he should be grateful!’

‘Mother…!’

‘Don’t call me mother! You stopped being my child eight years ago!’

Haman-daek could understand the chairman’s feelings, but she still wished he had listened—just once—to his child’s desperate plea. Then there was a loud crash, as if something had shattered, and she could only stamp her feet in panic.

“It seemed the young master woke up. He came out barefoot and held my hand tightly.”

That small, warm hand had been trembling. Clutching the hem of Haman-daek’s skirt, Ji-un had tried desperately to hold back his tears, his face pale with fear. Perhaps because the memory returned so clearly, Haman-daek’s eyes reddened. Realizing this, Saena quickly stood up and handed her a tissue.

“Thank you. Ah… getting old makes me so sentimental. Anyway, that night was truly exhausting. I only felt relieved after I saw the chairman leave the main house.”

The chairman said just one thing to Haman-daek.

“Where is that child?”

Fearing that he might throw the boy out, she couldn’t bring herself to answer right away. But reading her thoughts, the chairman headed toward the inner quarters. Knowing better than anyone that once he made up his mind, he never changed it, Haman-daek followed him.

“When he opened the door and saw the young master curled up asleep in the room, he collapsed onto the floor. Then he personally took out a blanket and covered the young master. I still can’t forget that sight.”