Chapter 17: Such Personal Feelings Are Always Welcome
Everyone was stunned.
Seohyo froze at the shock of her lips brushing against Cha-eon’s.
The courtesans were surprised—not because there had been a passionate kiss, but because Seohyo was completely flustered by the mere touch.
And Cha-eon… the one most shocked in this situation was himself. He had to rack his brain to figure out how not to let anyone notice.
He had already guessed what was happening when Nanyang whispered into Seohyo’s ear.
But what good was guessing?
From the moment Seohyo stared so intently at his lips, his pulse had been racing. Knowing what might happen did nothing to prepare his mind—it only made things worse.
Seohyo leaned in, her sweet lips so close.
Between them was only a single, insignificant sheet of white paper.
Closer.
Even closer.
Seohyo didn’t actually have the courage to kiss him for real. Cha-eon knew this. And yet, why did his body flinch involuntarily?
What is she waiting for?
What is she expecting?
This mischievous young lady was just enjoying seeing a side of herself that was different from usual.
Nothing would actually happen, he thought. Their lips would never truly meet.
And yet…
Smack.
Soft, moist lips pulled away with a cute sound, and for a moment, it was almost impossible to keep rational thought. These were lips he had only imagined and wanted—never actually touched.
“…Should I just tell everyone to leave, or not?”
What would she do with everyone gone, that sly girl…
Cha-eon swallowed a dry laugh, muttering to himself.
No one here could understand his feelings. They couldn’t comprehend what it meant to have Seohyo’s lips brush against his. Even Seohyo, still covering her mouth in shock, wouldn’t understand.
Even if it was a mistake, what did it matter?
He managed to speak in a voice that sounded normal.
“Anyway, we should finish the game we started.”
Unlike before, when receiving the paper from Seohyo, he casually passed it to the next person. Others probably didn’t notice, but he wasn’t actually taking the paper with his lips—he kept it hovering just above them.
That was how he had received the first paper, too.
Of course, when passing it back to Seohyo, he used the usual method everyone else did.
The game ended when the last courtesan passed the paper back to the first.
Everyone seemed a bit dazed, apparently forgetting that neither Cha-eon nor Seohyo had made a mistake to fix.
‘If we do this again, I’ll bleed dry.’
He had pretended not to notice the courtesans’ shallow trick to fool Seohyo, only to be caught in his own scheme.
It was the price of underestimating how weak he was against his mistress.
“It was enjoyable, everyone. I think I should be going now.”
“Already leaving?”
“Stay a bit longer.”
The courtesans each expressed disappointment. Before leaving the room, Cha-eon shot a sharp glance at Nanyang—the mastermind behind everything. Even if she was old and frail, she was still a courtesan through and through.
Nanyang noticed there was no malice in his gaze and smiled.
“Hey, bring more soup here!”
“Bring more dumplings!”
Stepping out and onto the stairs, he could hear the lively chatter from the first floor.
“Ah, no, Lord! Don’t do this!”
He even heard the courtesans’ laughter mixed with coquettish whining.
Cha-eon paused on the stairs and looked back.
Seohyo was still crawling behind him, unable to say a word. Even in loose clothing and with a dazed expression, her beauty had not diminished.
To Cha-eon, it was dangerously apparent.
Moreover, they were walking in a den filled with greedy men.
“Ah, Cha-eon!”
Seohyo exclaimed, startled, looking at him. He pulled her close, draping his arm over her delicate shoulder—a clear signal to anyone that she was under his protection.
Any man daring to glance at her inappropriately wouldn’t return home safely.
“L-let go! Why are you being so awkward?”
He held her tighter.
The moment they stepped out of Yahwaro, he let go, walking normally.
It was fortunate she was much shorter than him. Eyes supposedly reflect the heart, and if Seohyo had been closer to his height, she would surely have seen the trembling in his eyes.
How had things come to this?
He had only intended, with a little help from Nanyang, to get some revenge on the butler.
Seohyo stole glances at Cha-eon as they walked back to the village. He maintained space between them, but whenever a cart or a young man appeared, he closed the distance.
Especially when a carriage came from the other side, he approached so closely it seemed he might lift her up.
Stop! I have nowhere to dodge! The ditch is right there.
She couldn’t fall into someone else’s field.
The road wasn’t so narrow that carts and pedestrians couldn’t pass, but Cha-eon kept his guard up until the carriage passed.
After the carriage’s hoofbeats faded, he muttered under his breath, complaining about the speed.
‘Does he think I’m a baby?’
He was oblivious where caution was needed, too trusting, kind to anyone, always causing trouble—and that was why he had to hold her tight even when a carriage approached.
‘Looking at it like this, I feel like such an incompetent person.’
She wanted to protest but realized Cha-eon’s behavior wasn’t new.
She had once heard a neighbor say it’s easier to give up than try to change someone—though if the other party found out, they’d be highly displeased.
She didn’t want to admit there was something to fix, nor that it couldn’t be fixed. But “giving up” in this context had a different, unpleasant connotation.
‘…The neighbor said that about her husband, though.’
Ever since the seasons changed, Seohyo had been thinking of her relationship with Cha-eon in terms of a married couple. She had often stumbled upon phrases that applied between spouses, purely by coincidence.
Seohyo quickly erased all thoughts of marriage from her mind.
It felt ominous. She could almost hear the pharmacy of her life blocking her marriage path.
But that wasn’t the main problem. The priority was preventing any misunderstandings with Cha-eon.
She nervously plucked at some grass by the roadside, wrapping and unwrapping a long leaf around her fingers.
“Cha-eon?”
He turned at her call. Perhaps she had imagined things at Yahwaro; his ears had seemed a little red then, but now his expression was calm and serene, like the surface of a still lake.
No agitation.
It seemed only Seohyo kept recalling the moment their lips nearly met.
“I hope there’s no misunderstanding. Earlier… that was just a joke.”
“A joke.”
A faintly ominous tone rose from beneath his calm surface.
“Ah, I just tried to tease you, but my breath failed me.”
“I see.”
“Nothing else. And please don’t misunderstand that I deliberately dropped the paper because I… l-like you!”
“Misunderstanding.”
Couldn’t he respond any differently? Cha-eon repeated her words in a chillingly precise way. Seohyo, avoiding his gaze, only nodded vigorously.
Talking made her body flush.
After walking the country road for a while, Cha-eon glanced at her and asked,
“Surely you’re not still thinking about Yahwaro?”
“Huh?”
“I wondered what you were thinking, and here you are, still dwelling on it after leaving the mansion.”
He smiled, leisurely.
“I don’t mind much.”
“Oh…?”
She did mind. She was unbearably aware of it. Had she just been a fingertip away from her first kiss? Cha-eon would have been the recipient! And yet, he acted as if nothing had happened.
“Lady, surely you didn’t take that… near kiss at Yahwaro seriously?”
“Uh?”
She barely raised the end of her sentence into a question. Almost answered “yes” by accident.
Cha-eon looked at her like a cute seven-year-old child.
“No matter how little contact a lady has with men, you’ve lived long enough, right?”
“Ah, haha.”
“It must be my overthinking.”
“Ha ha.”
Her laugh didn’t feel like laughing. She wondered if Cha-eon considered the near-kiss a simple accident, like dropping chopsticks under the table during a meal.
She wrapped the grass around her finger faster, mindful of the green tint staining her nails.
She knew it was childish behavior.
‘Ugh, what is this.’
She kept her eyes on the ground.
“Of course, a proper kiss isn’t just lips brushing. You’d suck, lick, maybe lightly bite…”
Seohyo’s head shot up automatically.
“Push her against a wall, lift her up, and kiss until she’s breathless, tongue and all…”
What?
Did he just say tongue? What? How? Where?
Her eyes widened, but the speaker was calm, discussing this like a scholar talking about eternal truths.
“You know, the nuances, right?”
Cha-eon laughed casually at her. Seohyo turned forward, as if she’d seen something forbidden. She didn’t understand why she reacted like this, having done nothing wrong.
“We both know, don’t we?”
No. She didn’t.
“Look here, butler, why do you know everything?”
She had never discussed this before, yet he spoke as if it were routine.
Seohyo’s face twitched like a broken doll. She tried to smile naturally, but her body refused. She forced a laugh.
“Ha ha ha.”
Should she laugh louder?
“Right. I was just overthinking. Ha ha. Nuances, ha ha.”
“It’s fine.”
Cha-eon responded, seemingly forgiving her ignorance, lightly touching her braided hair with his arm draped over her shoulder. Seohyo swallowed hard.
“Once you start something, you should finish it,” he said, smiling softly.
“Kiss or otherwise. That’s how I see it.”
“Yes.”
Her mind exploded.
The embarrassment and confusion of the day had reached their limit. Her face was flushed, her toes burned, and perhaps even her heart had steamed.
“Our butler is so diligent. Whatever it is, he works hard.”
She gave a misguided compliment.
“Anyway, I’m relieved there’s no misunderstanding. Again, I have no strange personal feelings, understood?”
How she had walked all this way through the fields, she didn’t know.
Seohyo spotted the edge of the village and bolted. When in a tight spot, running is the best option. Especially when the other party is Cha-eon.
“Wow, we’re here already. I want to wash properly first, so I’ll go ahead!”
Today, it seemed, the Celestial Lord wanted her to exercise. She ended up running all the way home.
Her chest felt like it would burst, and just when she slowed, Cha-eon’s figure appeared behind her, forcing her to run again.
Thus, she didn’t hear the butler’s quiet words after she left:
“…Such personal feelings are always welcome.”
In a way, it was fortunate. Had she heard it, it would have been like pouring oil on the fire already blazing in her head.
Seohyo had fallen into a trap.
It was a scheme.
The mastermind was her butler, Cha-eon.
Since returning from Yahwaro, he had found unexpected moments and ways to put her in awkward situations.
And the problem was that Seohyo kept falling for his pranks.
Only when she saw him laughing quietly would she realize she had been tricked again.
Honestly, it had gotten confusing. Was she hearing things because she was sensitive, or was he deliberately saying things that could be misunderstood?
It was happening even now.
While cleaning up after dinner, Cha-eon spoke naturally:
“Will you wash first?”
These days, they bathed in the evening, not the morning. She no longer became a sad, cocoon-like figure in bed, sneezing after washing in the chilly morning.
On its own, the question was innocuous. There was only one bathroom in the modest house, and order mattered.
But Cha-eon added a small comment, just audible to her:
“Or together?”
“Eh?”
Only when she looked sharply at him did he complete the sentence:
“Would you like to wash together after washing the dishes?”
“Oh.”
“What’s with that reaction?”
Cha-eon asked as he pushed the dishes in lukewarm water.
“The strange one is you,” she retorted.
“Thinking naughty thoughts again?”
“Me, naughty? Who’s talking!”
He shook his head. The dishes clattered in the basin. He poured in the leftover rice water and let it soak a bit.
After clearing the table, he clicked his tongue at her.
“You’ve been thinking too much about marriage lately, haven’t you? Always speaking about it, and now you hear ordinary things in a lewd way.”
“Should I blame anyone for letting me misunderstand?”
“Hmm.”
Cha-eon reached for her cheek, pinching it. It didn’t hurt, but she felt like a child.
Was one cheek not enough?
He pinched both cheeks, admonishing her:
“This won’t do. It’s dangerous. Bad for you and for those around you. Repeat after me: I will not think naughty thoughts.”
Like hell she would.
She frowned, her lips moving as the pinching grew more forceful.
“Ah? Ahh.”
“Repeat quickly.”
“Nooo.”
“I will not think naughty thoughts.”
“…I will not think naughty thoughts.”
She added silently, because it’s the butler’s fault. Sticking her tongue out in her mind.
“One more time.”
“I will not think naughty thoughts.”
“Again.”
“I will not! Think! Naughty! Thoughts!”
“I like that spirit very much.”
Finally free. Before fetching hot water, she kicked his calf in frustration, but the butler had apparently trained his body so well even his shins were solid. No satisfaction.
She huffed, carrying the hot water alone. He ignored the sweat forming on her forehead. She filled the large wooden bath alone.
Thinking she was done, Cha-eon brought her a fresh towel.
She glared at him, half-prepared for mischief.
“I’m relieved. You’re brave again,” he said, now serious.
“After Ga Gongja disappeared, I thought you’d be endlessly sinking into a swamp,” he added, tapping her forehead before returning to the kitchen.
Seohyo, frozen in place for a moment, let out a quiet gasp at her belated realization:
“So… that’s why he keeps making me lose my composure…”
It was because of that.
She stared at the towel in her hand. The neatly folded towel smelled clean.
The towel Cha-eon had touched.
It felt like holding a doll, warm and comforting against her chest.
