<CHAPTER> 06
So if I ended up loving you, it must have been inevitable from the very beginning.
I had known that for a very long time.
Even before you always came running to someone as useless as me.
KWAANG!
Kylian burst through the billowing dust like a rising cloud and held out his hand.
“Are you okay, Lamia? Take my hand and get up.”
Since I was the weakest, he must have come to save me first, but my face heated up anyway.
I lowered my head deeply to hide it and answered.
“Mm, thank you……………….”
The moment I placed my hand over his scarred one, my body lifted lightly.
Kylian pulled me up with ease and scolded me softly.
“I told you to stay back. Why did you run out?”
“I thought I could handle the Black Widow too, so I’m sorry. I won’t do that next time.”
“I didn’t tell you to apologize………………never mind. You’re not hurt, are you?”
Kylian carefully grabbed my arm and lifted it this way and that.
It must be hot.
I couldn’t even properly meet his eyes.
Embarrassment and shame made the heat rise again and again.
I stepped forward because I didn’t want to be a burden among such abnormally strong comrades.
The concern that it might be too much for me had become reality as if to mock me.
How pathetic.
“I’m fine, so you can go. It’s not over yet.”
I barely spoke while hiding the intense pain rising from my arm, which was probably broken.
Kylian hesitated with a troubled look.
A scream burst from within the dust cloud.
Kylian reluctantly tightened his grip on his sword and returned to the battlefield.
That night, I volunteered for the night watch to make up for my mistake.
After squeezing out my insufficient holy power to heal my comrades, my depleted strength screamed for rest, but I had no choice.
I had to secure my place among them somehow.
A place where I could stand proudly as one of their comrades.
“You all crossed mountains in this cold and worked hard. I’ll take the night watch, so rest.”
“………………What about you? What if you catch a cold?”
Kylian immediately objected.
He placed his sleeping bag in my arms and sat down heavily in front of the campfire.
Then, poking the firewood, he tossed out words that struck my heart as well.
“I’ll do it today, so when we reach the next destination, you can do it then.”
Ah.
My kind protagonist, I really, truly like you so much.
“Idiot, I’m a healer. Did you see me sick?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I also want to test how much my holy power manifests in the Tundra Mountains, and I have some things to sort out. Since I’ll be awake anyway, I might as well keep watch. Anyway, still, thank you.”
I smiled brightly without hiding my joy and pushed the sleeping bag back into his arms.
Kylian looked up at me with a slightly irritated expression.
“Don’t thank me for something so trivial. You’re someone who deserves at least that much.”
I nodded shyly, saying I understood.
But I wouldn’t be able to keep that promise either.
Because every word from you was a treasure to me.
Ah, my lovable protagonist.
I already knew your heart.
The one you wanted wasn’t me, but Elise.
Even knowing that, just the fact that your touch reached me made my heart beat foolishly.
Even if it was kindness you performed falsely, it was enough.
If there was any fault, it must be mine for holding your hand while knowing all that.
It must be, right?
The campfire and snowy mountains vanished, and before I knew it, I stood beneath a blood-red sky.
It felt as though someone had grabbed my nape, and I couldn’t breathe.
It was probably the thick air of the Demon Realm.
The fact that this flimsy excuse was all I could find to deny Billion’s words made me even more miserable.
Still, I believed in you.
Even if you offered your heart to Elise.
Even if she crushed it.
Even if the world were to end today.
You were someone who never once revealed emotion through attitude.
You were someone who only shone too brilliantly.
That’s why it feels like I’m dreaming right now.
“W-What, gasp, what are you saying… what do you mean?”
But since it hurts this much, it must not be a dream.
I tried to breathe properly, but failed again and again.
My chest throbbed as if broken ribs were stabbing my heart.
As I gasped like a fish thrown onto land, Kylian drove an even deeper dagger without hesitation.
“Please. If you truly care about us, then do it. You know who we need more, don’t you?”
His blue eyes were as gentle as ever, yet the words they delivered were unbearably cruel.
My mouth, which had always agreed with his words, would not move this time.
Kylian urged me once more.
“Lamia, please. Die in Elise’s place.”
Only then did my senses return.
Why should I?
The words surged up to my throat.
But they never escaped my lips.
It felt like defying a sacred destiny.
Perhaps it was because I knew as well.
Who was more necessary.
“Don’t do this, Kylian! I can do it! It’s my responsibility!”
Elise, who was more necessary than me, desperately tried to stop Kylian.
Tears clung to her large eyes and fell each time she blinked.
Her cry that she would be the one to revive came out without a single shred of hesitation.
Seeing her made me feel like the truly terrible person.
If one of us had to disappear, it seemed right in every way that it be me.
All I ever wanted was to live with you for a long, long time.
Perhaps I desired something too excessive.
Like a fool.
Only at this moment did I finally realize it.
After wandering such a long road, I understood like an idiot.
You intended to erase me completely.
You planned to discard a blemish like me as though I had never existed.
Once I realized that, my head finally cooled.
Perhaps Kylian had protected me all this time for today.
To offer me as a sacrifice to annihilate the Demon King.
Or to use me as a substitute victim for Elise.
If that was the case, then.
“Fine. I’ll die for you.”
I’ll erase you first.
When I opened my eyes after making that vow, I stood atop a cliff where magma boiled below.
Having finally become a complete Lamia, I spoke smoothly.
“You’ve all worked hard, haven’t you~? Since it’s what you wanted, I’ll give you a gift, guys! You won’t be troubled by me anymore!”
Dying truly did not frighten me.
It was better than hearing lifelong accusations of why I hadn’t died instead if Elise had died.
I thought my possession meant I was meant to change something.
But perhaps there was a law of preserved endings, because it ended up like this.
I slowly took in the faces of the comrades who had shared life and death with me……………… Kylian’s face as well.
Steam obscured his expression.
Are you crying for me?
Are you expressionless?
Or are you relieved that the one standing here is not Elise?
My heart, already torn to shreds, still seemed to have places left to hurt.
I clutched at my chest without even knowing where it hurt.
Ah, I should stab here.
If I had known it would hurt this much, I should have cut it out from the beginning.
I cast one final glance at my comrades across the cliff and raised my hand high.
“It was filthy being with you. Let’s never see each other again.”
A cold blade struck directly.
With my heart pierced, I fell into the flames.
***
[D-0. Unlocking.]
[-Synchronization terminated.]
“Haa—gasp………….!”
The first thing I did when my memories returned was frantically feel my entire body.
I’m alive. I’m alive
