Chapter 27
Noeul felt like crap.
Jiu felt like crap too.
Students in the cafeteria kept sneaking glances at Noeul, Jiu, and Jun-gi.
It was like being a creepy loser chasing after a pretty girl who already had a gorgeous boyfriend—
even though that wasn’t the truth at all.
But Noeul couldn’t shake the feeling of acting guilty,
as if he really were that creepy loser pretending innocence in front of everyone.
He’d known it might come to this.
Still, he had to stop Jiu.
If he stayed quiet after seeing her, Hansol would misunderstand,
thinking Noeul didn’t care enough to clear things up.
It felt like standing on a rooftop edge with a knife-wielding robber behind him—
no matter which way he turned, he’d get screwed.
But protecting his relationship with Hansol came first.
The people in the cafeteria would laugh, call him “that pathetic guy,” and forget soon enough.
He’d endured that kind of thing plenty of times.
He couldn’t let a moment’s embarrassment drive a wedge between him and Hansol.
Noeul released Jiu’s arm and said,
“Sorry… but I really need to talk to you.”
If a handsome man grabbed a pretty woman’s arm, it was romance.
If an unattractive man did it, it was a crime thriller.
To be treated like a reasonable person, he had to apologize—
even though Jiu was the one who owed an apology.
She’d been spreading rumors.
Just now she’d even told Jun-gi, “Follow me, I’ll explain.”
Was she planning to tell him too?
Pretending to help while secretly mocking him—
“Even ugly guys can be loved,” followed by a stifled laugh.
Since childhood, Noeul’s feelings had been treated as a girl’s humiliation.
Kids would tease each other with, “Noeul likes you,”
even when he felt nothing for that girl—
and it was always Noeul who had to deny it.
Sometimes he even had to say “I don’t like you” to the one he actually did like.
Inside, he cursed: Those damn girls, damn girls, damn girls.
But after the anger ebbed, a cold sadness seeped in.
Realizing that your heart itself could be an insult to someone—
that was hard to accept at any age.
After yesterday’s phone call, things with Hansol seemed normal.
But not quite the same.
Silences felt heavier.
He was more conscious of others’ eyes.
Noeul kept checking that he didn’t seem too close to Hansol.
He swore more when talking, acted more cynical—
trying to broadcast, I don’t like Hansol.
Thinking of how relieved he’d felt yesterday—
believing Jiu hadn’t avoided him out of dislike—
made him feel stupid.
Jiu, so casually cruel,
hurting people without noticing.
Oh, that hurt? Sorry, didn’t know.
The purest, and cruelest, way.
Seeing Noeul’s serious face, Jiu obediently followed.
Jiu and Jun-gi sat next to Hansol and Noeul.
Noeul said to Jiu,
“You’re heading to the Liberal Arts building after lunch, right?”
“Yeah.”
“Go with me.”
“Why? You don’t have a class there.”
“I said I need to talk. How many times do I have to say it?”
Yesterday Noeul had run mental simulations of how to explain.
In a group it would sound like a joke,
and if word spread it could twist into something worse.
He needed a one-on-one, serious talk.
Hansol ate silently.
Jun-gi, clueless, asked,
“What’s this about?”
“…It’s nothing. I’ll tell you later.”
Jun-gi looked puzzled but didn’t press.
He must have sensed it wasn’t for now.
The four of them ate awkwardly.
Jiu occasionally glanced at Noeul, curious about what he’d say.
Hansol and Jun-gi tossed out small-talk questions—
“Done with the assignment?” “What’s your next class?”—
to break the silence.
Noeul answered casually.
The awkwardness grated on him.
Though he knew better,
it felt like his ugliness, his smallness,
was the reason for the quiet.
It was as if he liked Hansol,
Hansol disliked it and hurt him,
and now he was lying to Jiu to stay friends—
as if those were the facts.
Even to himself, denying his feelings felt like a lie.
Who would believe an unattractive guy didn’t like a pretty girl?
It just sounded like a fox claiming sour grapes.
He didn’t know what stance to take.
Deny too strongly and it would seem fake.
Downplay it and it’d look like he enjoyed the rumor.
He chewed his food, annoyed.
After a strained meal, they left the cafeteria.
Jun-gi walked with Hansol; Noeul with Jiu.
As they headed toward the Liberal Arts building,
Noeul felt Jiu’s sideways glances.
If he got too serious, it’d seem funny.
If he got angry, it’d look like a tantrum.
Forcing down his irritation like a grumpy preschool teacher, he said,
“It’s not a huge deal. Or maybe it is… Anyway, bottom line: I don’t like Hansol.”
“You heard something—from Hansol?”
“Yeah. But, you know… I get why you thought that.
If I were you, I’d wonder if I had a thing for her too.
But believe it or not, I really don’t.
You probably can’t understand this,
but feelings need a certain…match to spark.
Like, a billionaire is impressive,
but it doesn’t make you want to be with them—
the gap’s too big.
It’s kinda like that.”
He looked at Jiu. She blinked.
“Does that make sense? Maybe you’re too slow to get it.”
“Of course it makes sense! I was just thinking.”
“Good. Anyway, the key point is I don’t like Hansol.
Still hard to believe, huh?
Well, you can think what you want…”
He paused, wanting his sincerity to land.
Jiu stared back.
“And I really do like Hansol as a person.
You agree she’s great, right?”
Jiu nodded emphatically.
“So I want to stay good friends with her.
But if people say I like her,
how do you think that makes her feel?
She’d stop hanging out with me.”
“……”
“That’s what worries me.
That’s why I’m saying this privately, not joking around.
If you keep saying I like her—
even after this talk—
then I really will get angry.”
Seeing Jiu’s startled eyes, he quickly added,
“Not that I’m mad now. Not at all. I swear.
You understand, right?”
Jiu nodded, subdued.
Maybe the “I’ll get angry” part was too much, he thought.
He tried a lighter tone.
“I’ll help Hansol find a great boyfriend, promise.
Luckily, my friends are pretty decent looking.
You don’t know the saying ‘ink-black neighbors darken you,’ do you?”
“Tch, I know it!”
He chuckled.
“Did you see the vibe crash at lunch?
Let’s grab drinks soon to fix that.”
Left glance.
?
Right glance.
?
Jiu had been tilting her head like (o_o) for a while.
Why does Noeul think like that?
Several of his comments stuck out:
-
Feelings need a certain match to spark… the gap’s too big.
-
The key point is I don’t like Hansol… still hard to believe?
-
If people say I like her, she won’t want to hang out with me.
While listening, she’d just thought, Huh?
She wasn’t quick on the uptake,
and smart Noeul rarely said nonsense,
so she figured she was just slow to get it.
But the more she mulled it over, the less it made sense.
Did he really mean all that?
At parties Noeul often joked about his looks,
but she’d thought it was just comedy.
Today it felt more serious.
Sure, she didn’t think he was handsome,
but aside from striking types like Jun-gi—
the one-in-a-hundred pretty boys—
aren’t most guys about the same?
Looks only get you so far.
Yet Noeul seemed to see his appearance
as a huge flaw, a real limitation.
Jiu had never guessed he felt that way—
he was always confident,
teasing himself so freely,
with so many other strengths.
She suddenly felt like she’d done something awful.
Trying to show off her “social awareness,”
she’d teased Hansol,
and maybe poked right where Noeul was vulnerable.
Maybe he did like Hansol,
and her careless comment made him hide it deeper.
Ugh… idiot…
“This tiny head of yours—what are you worrying about?”
Hansol was suddenly beside her,
smoothing the crease in Jiu’s brow with her thumb.
“Huh? Oh, nothing…”
Jiu rummaged in her bag as if looking for class notes.
Trying to sound casual, she asked,
“But… do looks matter for guys?”
“Looks? For what?”
“I mean… in someone’s overall appeal.
Are they a big deal?”
“Of course.”
Hansol didn’t hesitate.
“…Of course?”
“Sure. Especially at our age,
looks are almost everything.”
“…Really?”
Jiu’s face grew serious.
Did Noeul know that?
Had he asked Hansol and gotten that answer?
If he had, no wonder he thought Hansol would never like him.
The thought made Jiu’s chest ache.
So Noeul must have decided
to just stay friends with Hansol.
And she… she’d scratched the wound open.
She wasn’t sure,
but it felt painfully likely.
Sorry… sorry… I’m so sorry…
…But what’s so bad about Noeul?
Hansol is very pretty, sure,
but Noeul’s impressive too.
Looks are almost everything?
Did Hansol really mean that?
Jiu had never seen her that way.
How could looks be everything?
“…What? What’s with you?”
Hansol flinched under Jiu’s sudden glare.
“…Nothing.”
Jiu whipped her head forward.
Hansol watched her, puzzled.
