Chapter 42
***
The search party reported they had found a suspicious house.
They said they’d located a home with an elegant carriage parked outside, and Harvich didn’t think twice.
No, he no longer had the composure to think at all.
He went straight to the stables.
Ever since Lincia disappeared, waiting quietly had been unbearable.
Besides, his instincts were screaming at him—
That she would be there.
The two-story house he arrived at after a hasty ride was small and tidy.
Confirming there was no one in the carriage, Harvich knocked on the door.
“…Anna, someone’s here.”
A soft, feminine voice came from inside. The fact that Lincia was in such a poorly insulated house filled him with anger. His emotions boiled over, his rage slipping out of control.
“Your Highness, I’ll go check. Just a moment.”
He heard the maid’s footsteps approach.
“Who is it?”
“…”
He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.
Harvich’s lips moved soundlessly.
“Sir Seton? Has something happened?”
…Damn it.
Seton was one of Hue’s most trusted aides—and sometimes the man who gave Lincia a certain look.
He knew Seton couldn’t be the child’s father, but his hands still trembled.
He had to stay calm. Hue wouldn’t have personally sent his favored officer to run away with Lincia. Then again, maybe he helped cover it up for him? The sick thoughts tangled in his mind, his pulse pounding hard.
Then the door opened.
Harvich brushed past the startled maid and stepped into the house.
Before opening the door to the room where he felt a presence, he dusted the snow off his hair and cloak.
Bringing Lincia straight back to the ducal estate after travel fatigue would be too harsh. He didn’t want to defile the place where she’d been staying—a strange, compulsive thought.
When Harvich opened the door, Lincia looked up in shock. Her wide eyes and disbelief hit him like a blow.
“How did you… find me here?”
She was sitting on the bed.
“Why did you come?”
The moment he saw her pale, clear face, his anger melted away.
Was she hurt? Had the cold travel harmed her or the child? He couldn’t stop worrying.
She had been lying in bed just last night, and now he’d found her already.
With snow beginning to fall, one more day and she might’ve vanished for good. Relieved, Harvich ran a hand over his face.
At least she didn’t appear injured. Aside from her slightly red eyes, she looked well, as if nothing troubling had happened.
“Let’s go back.”
“Why should I?”
“You’re my wife.”
“So what?”
“…”
“What did that ever mean to you?”
It felt like scalding water was poured over his tangled thoughts. Everything melted into a mess even he couldn’t untangle.
He wanted to ask her in return—
Do you even think of me as your husband?
If you did, you wouldn’t do this.
“And my disappearance helps this place—and you.”
She turned her head away as she spoke.
“Pretend you didn’t see me.”
Harvich clenched his fist so tightly that the veins stood out across his hand.
“You said this helps me?”
“…”
“You think running away helps me? Hah…”
He sighed, drained.
“Running away… that’s your idea of help.”
He pressed his fingers to his temple. The familiar headache pulsed.
“That’s a lot of help indeed.”
When she turned her head, she was looking at him again.
That wounded expression. The face that always made him feel like the guilty one, always made him small.
“Why are you trying to take me back?
I’m of no use to you.
If your aide told me to run, maybe talk it over with him first.”
Her voice trembled, but she still said everything she wanted.
Harvich let out a long breath.
“Why, then?”
He simply couldn’t understand her.
“You’ve managed perfectly fine until now, haven’t you?”
Lincia’s face went pale.
“Do you not love me anymore? Or has the child’s father become precious to you?”
At his words, she gaped in shock, her lips opening and closing soundlessly.
He knew he should stop—her wounded look made that clear—but he felt wronged.
There were too many reasons not to believe her, too many circumstances stacked against her.
And yet she’d left him for not trusting her.
“Why did you have to leave me?”
He had asked that question a hundred times in his head, and now it slipped out.
“Was it because you grew attached to the child’s father?
Or did Julius order you to hide your pregnancy from me?
Because you thought I couldn’t be deceived?”
“Ah…”
She began to sob, the sound breaking through the silence.
“Why did you come looking for me?”
She no longer asked why he didn’t trust her. Yet the reproach in her tone was unmistakable.
Harvich felt his chest tighten.
“If you want me to go back, why are you acting like this?”
“…”
“If you want me to go back, at least pretend to believe me.
Then even if I know you’re lying, I’ll let myself be fooled.”
Her reproachful voice turned desperate—almost pleading.
“…”
“Please, just pretend to believe me!”
He knew she was right. Pretending might be the easiest way to bring her back.
But Harvich couldn’t do it.
“I was told the woman wanted to run away with the child’s father, so I granted her wish.”
Even knowing that letting Lincia leave the Duchy—and the Empire—was the better choice for everyone, he couldn’t.
“How could I treat something false as truth?”
“…”
“At least I can’t live like that.”
How could he possibly call a child born from another man’s embrace his own?
How?
Besides, a child doesn’t come from a single night.
Knowing that only deepened his torment.
A woman who must have been with another man more than once. How could he ever call that man’s child his?
He couldn’t acknowledge it without killing the man first.
Lincia’s lips curved faintly. Her pale face showed a clear emotion—resignation.
A woman smiling through tears.
He had known she wouldn’t welcome him when he found her, but that look—
Harvich bit his tongue.
“Fine. I understand.”
“…”
“I’ll go back. But don’t punish the ones who helped me.
Just.
.. go. I’m tired.”
He left the room before she could change her mind.
But even her last request, he couldn’t grant.
Because the child’s father was somewhere nearby.
