#30
“…A contest?”
“I think you should try submitting a portrait. You’re very skilled at drawing people and objects. Your artwork captures the beauty of the moment. If you’re interested, take a look at this pamphlet.”
Ronnie took the pamphlet from Professor Reana and left the office. It seemed that the painting she’d done after the festival, inspired by Allen and Viana’s dance, had once again caught Professor Reana’s eye.
The contest the professor mentioned was a major competition for students attending art schools across the country. While there were many regional branches aside from the capital’s art academy, participation wasn’t open to just anyone—you needed a professor’s recommendation.
The suggestion was sudden and a little overwhelming, but she felt a growing desire to try. Had she ever been so passionate about painting while living as Sohee?
Back in Korea, she had drawn simply to survive. Because life was hard. Not once had she joined a contest or competition purely to advance her career.
Sohee had spent a fairly impoverished childhood in Korea. She suffered abuse from her mother as a child, then managed to escape with the help of a benefactor and graduated university with the support of a charity.
Since then, she’d been on her own. Though she’d been suddenly thrown into the world, she had a strong-willed nature that helped her find work. She survived day to day by drawing, and eventually was lucky enough to catch the eye of an author and started working as an assistant, slightly easing her financial burdens.
Thinking back, it hadn’t been long after she began living comfortably that she met Guinness and ended up falling into this world.
So maybe… she could allow herself this much.
Even if she couldn’t draw under the name Sohee, she was still the one drawing. While she was in this world, she could do at least this much, couldn’t she?
With a new resolve, she began thinking about what to draw for submission and headed toward the lakeside.
At the lake sat Khan. Unlike usual, his hair was down instead of tied up, and he wore a melancholic expression.
‘What kind of roleplay is it this time…’
I sat down naturally beside Khan. After spending more time with him, I’d come to realize how much he enjoyed playing out dramatic little scenes.
At first, I’d been confused by how he’d suddenly act out these strange moods, but I’d gotten used to it. It reminded me of how kids never tire of playing house.
If I just responded a little, he usually dropped it on his own. I figured it was the same today, so I stayed silent. Khan looked at me with an unreadable expression—like something displeased him.
“Got something to say?”
“Just… wondering why you’re always so foolish.”
“You really don’t hold back, huh?”
“…Whatever you choose, I’ll respect it. Like always.”
“What choice did I even make?”
“I’m not quite sure yet. I still don’t know what that choice means. I plan to wait and see what kind of outcome the butterfly’s wings will bring.”
Today he was acting especially cryptic. If he was going to roleplay, couldn’t he at least be a little more understandable? I had no idea how to respond.
Had I ever said anything about a “choice” to him? He didn’t know everything about my situation, and yet it felt like he could see right through me. That made me feel tense.
Maybe it was because he gave off such a strange atmosphere today.
“Cut the act. Whatever choice I made, I’ll take responsibility for it.”
“Of course.”
Khan let out a small laugh at my words. I gave him a side-eye glare and turned back to look at the lake.
The lake was calm as always. Sunlight reflected off the water, creating a soft silvery shimmer.
Seeing it naturally brought Allen to mind. Since the festival, his harassment had stopped. It was as if he had completely given up on me. Shouldn’t that be a good thing?
It should be. But I didn’t feel good.
Even when we coincidentally ran into each other, Allen only offered formal courtesy and drew clear lines between us. He was firmly pushing me out of his world.
He had hurt me, but now that he was giving me exactly what I’d wanted, I found myself upset at his reaction. What was wrong with me?
Rumor had it that Allen and Viana were spending time together more often now. Since they attended the same school, it was natural, I guessed. I reassured the other girls who brought it up, telling them it wasn’t a big deal.
But every time I heard it, my heart sank. Maybe the festival had brought them closer.
Since the rift between us, it became harder to get involved in Allen’s affairs, and I had no choice but to rely on Guinness. Guinness occasionally came to update me on Allen’s situation, but never gave advice. Sometimes, he just gave me strange, unreadable looks.
As I stared blankly at the water, Khan suddenly spoke up.
“Noona, I read something interesting in a book. Want to hear it?”
“…It better be good, or I’m not letting it slide.”
Khan chuckled as if that were impossible. Honestly, I could use a good story to lighten my heavy heart.
His tale turned out to be more intriguing than expected. It began with a lonely genius.
This genius, despite his incredible talents and the admiration of many, deeply despised humanity. He loathed how people acted selfishly, discarding others the moment they lost value.
Having grown up in an orphanage without ever knowing his parents, the genius harbored immense resentment toward society and people. As he became more successful, he grew increasingly arrogant and domineering, looking down on others.
Then, he fell in love. His anger seemed to subside.
But not long after, a woman who had once abandoned him came claiming to be his mother. The genius spiraled into madness.
The woman, overwhelmed by his reaction, sought help from his lover. The lover, believing the woman genuinely wanted forgiveness, helped her.
But…
“So? What happened next?”
I was already fully immersed in Khan’s story, eagerly asking for the next part. I imagined a happy ending, where the genius reconciled with his mother and married his lover.
Living in a reality full of sad endings made me crave happy ones in fiction.
But Khan’s next words shattered that hope.
“The woman wasn’t actually his mother. When the lover found out and tried to tell the genius… the woman killed her.”
“…What?!”
I was shocked. It was too cruel a fate for the genius. The one person he had opened his heart to had died in such a senseless way.
“What happened to the genius?”
“…Well, the rest of the book was torn, so I don’t know the ending.”
“What?! You got me all curious, and now this?”
I felt betrayed. How could he start a story without knowing the ending? That was just mean.
I glared at Khan, but he only looked back with a clueless expression.
‘Ugh. This is like when your favorite comic suddenly gets canceled mid-series.’
Frustrated, I tossed a stone into the lake—just like Khan often did.
Then Khan asked, “If you were the lover, what would you want to say to the genius before dying?”
“…I guess I’d say I loved him. And that I’m sorry. I’d ask him not to hate the world too much.”
“…It would’ve been nice if the genius could’ve heard that.”
Khan nodded and looked at the lake. His eyes seemed a little sad. I was surprised by how immersed he was in the story.
“…But honestly, if it were me, I wouldn’t have helped the woman in the first place.”
“Why not?”
“If a mother abandoned you once, she can do it again. I’d respect the genius’s choice. I’d hope he’d learn to forgive the world someday, but I wouldn’t force it.”
“You think it’d be forcing him?”
“Yeah. Even if it takes time, I’d wait until he could calm down and make the right decision himself.”
“…”
“Everyone needs time.”
Sohee found herself reminded of her own mother. She could deeply relate to the genius’s pain.
Her mother had pretended to be a good parent, while secretly abusing her. When others found out, she cried and begged for forgiveness, blaming herself.
Sohee had believed her—and forgiven her.
But what came next was only more abuse. Her mother took the money sent from the charity and used it for herself.
Sohee finally escaped with the help of a benefactor and asked the charity for help. Once they learned the truth, they reclaimed the funds from her mother and began supporting Sohee directly.
She never saw her mother again. She didn’t know how her mother lived now, but she hoped she’d never have to see her again.
She still wasn’t ready to forgive her. The scars were too deep.
But part of her believed that maybe, someday, when she had the courage to revisit those wounds, she might be able to forgive. And be free from that pain.
Foolish as it was, she still saw her mother as family. That thought made her feel pathetic.
Khan’s story had stirred up a fear buried deep inside her, making her heart even heavier. He looked slightly surprised at her words but then smiled gently.
“Yeah… maybe you could understand that man.”
