Chapter 85
Marsha’s memory of what happened afterward was hazy.
How had she even managed to return to the marquis’s estate?
The first thing that came back to her clearly was when Marchioness Severia made a fuss after seeing the two of them soaked through.
“My heavens, what on earth happened to you?”
Muttering that she never would have made such a request if she’d known it would rain, the marchioness immediately ordered the servants to bring hot water and dry clothes.
Marsha hurried off to the nearest bath.
It was hardly comfortable, bathing in someone else’s house, but refusing wasn’t an option.
“Haa…”
Sliding into the warm water, Marsha tilted her head back slowly.
What just happened out there?
It felt like a dream.
She didn’t even know how she’d gotten back here.
Maybe it was a dream?
But then the memory of Claudio’s lips against hers rushed back, vivid as fire.
…!
Startled, Marsha touched her lips.
The sensation of Claudio’s kiss still lingered more strongly than her own hand.
“Ah…”
Curling up, Marsha pressed her knees to her chest.
What do I do?
Her face burned as though it might burst.
Her head was spinning.
It was a feeling she couldn’t define.
Her senses felt hazy yet painfully clear, regretful yet not regretful, as if she were wandering through a dream yet also waking from one.
She pressed a hand against her pounding chest.
A person died if their heart stopped beating—but surely it couldn’t be good for it to race like this either.
I need to calm down…
She couldn’t let herself get swept away by emotion alone.
She had to think carefully, to decide what choices she must make from now on.
How could she make the right choice?
How could she…
***
“If only I hadn’t asked, then only the duke would have been soaked. I’m sorry, my dear.”
Marchioness Severia held Marsha’s hand apologetically.
“No, it’s not your fault.”
It truly wasn’t.
If Claudio hadn’t urged his horse up that hill… Or if Marsha hadn’t let herself be swept up in her feelings… they would never have ended up so thoroughly drenched.
“What if you catch a cold?”
“I bathed in hot water right away, so I’ll be fine. Besides, I’m sturdier than I look.”
Marsha gave a shy smile.
The marchioness chuckled softly.
“Get plenty of rest. And if you feel unwell at all, you must tell me. The duke’s physician is excellent, but he specializes in trauma care. Our family doctor, on the other hand, is famous for his medicines. Respiratory problems, digestive issues—whatever the ailment, people covet his remedies.”
Marsha blinked.
A certain name came immediately to mind.
“…Would that be Dr. Sheldon, by chance?”
“My, how did you know?”
Marsha’s eyes sparkled.
“I’ve read his book.”
In its preface, he’d written of how he was able to research and publish thanks to the devoted support of a noble household.
“I didn’t remember which house it was, so I never imagined… To think it really was this family.”
Even the medicine she’d once given Claudio had been made by combining her grandmother’s recipes with those of Dr. Sheldon.
“Hoho. So you’re interested in pharmacology? Then I must arrange for you to meet Sheldon, even if you’re not ill.”
“Would that really be all right?”
“Of course. Sheldon will be delighted.”
Marsha’s face lit up as if a cloud had lifted.
But her smile faded the instant she stepped outside and saw Claudio waiting by the carriage.
“….”
Sensing her, Claudio lifted his head.
Their eyes met, and Marsha immediately ducked hers like a child caught misbehaving.
Fixing her gaze firmly on the steps, she walked down carefully.
Otherwise, she feared memories of what had happened on the hill would trip her up.
“You should have gotten in first.”
At the carriage, she kept her eyes on the opposite side, speaking as calmly as she could.
But her voice trembled slightly.
“I was making sure you didn’t run away,” Claudio replied.
Marsha pouted.
Her mouth was dry with nerves, yet he acted as though nothing had happened.
“I couldn’t run away very well without a carriage.”
Her narrowed eyes flicked toward him.
“Are you saying you would have, if you had one? In that case, I suppose a carriage is one gift I’ll never be able to give you.”
Claudio extended his hand—just as he always did when helping her into a carriage.
Summoning every scrap of courage, Marsha placed her hand in his.
She always tensed when she felt that calloused, unyielding palm, but never as much as now.
Don’t think about it too much.
She told herself that, but every nerve in her body was acutely aware of him.
And now they would have to sit face to face in close quarters all the way back.
I can hardly breathe as it is.
“Hm?”
Watching from the top of the steps, Marchioness Severia tilted her head.
There was something… odd in the air between the two.
Did I imagine that?
Just then, Claudio gave her a small, polite bow.
She nodded in return.
Only then did Marsha realize she had boarded without properly thanking their hostess.
In a fluster, she leaned out the carriage window.
“I’m so sorry for the rude farewell. Thank you very much for today’s invitation.”
“Hoho, it’s quite all right. I’ll invite you again another time, so do come then as well.”
“Yes, gladly.”
Marsha’s smile was soft and warm. Claudio found himself staring, dazed, before belatedly climbing in.
The moment he did, her expression stiffened.
Not from gloom or displeasure, but something else entirely…
“Oh my.”
Watching the carriage roll away, the marchioness thought, So I didn’t imagine it after all.
Inside, Marsha berated herself.
How could I forget to give proper thanks?
She knew the answer, of course.
It’s all his fault.
Her throat was so tight with nerves she couldn’t even swallow.
She needed to say something, anything…
“I have a question.”
At Claudio’s sudden voice, Marsha jumped.
His crimson eyes lingered on her face for a moment before turning to the sunlit window.
“Do you regret it?”
“….”
When she didn’t answer, his gaze returned to her.
“I don’t.”
Claudio hadn’t planned things that way, but he didn’t regret the kiss.
Not at all.
If anything, he wanted to stay pressed against her longer.
Only the rain had forced him to break away, for her sake.
Had the sun come out, he would have found a way to justify continuing.
“…I don’t regret it either.”
Marsha’s voice was small and halting.
Claudio’s eyes dropped to her hands clutching her dress.
“I told you before, didn’t I? How could I regret something when I don’t dislike you? It’s just that my situation…”
Her words trailed off with a sigh.
Claudio understood well enough.
It wasn’t her station or her status holding her back—it was the unresolved mystery of her father’s death.
Until she had answers, she could not allow herself happiness.
“Then I only need to wait?”
To wait until the truth came to light?
But Claudio had no intention of waiting idly.
He would do everything in his power to hasten that day.
Marsha, however, shook her head.
“How can you know when that day will come?”
She couldn’t ask him to wait for something that might never happen.
“Do you think I’ll just sit and wait? Do you think I can’t find the culprit? Yet you had no trouble signing that contract with me.”
“That’s not it…”
His brows twitched. If not that, then what?
Did she really mean to reject him with flimsy excuses?
Was the kiss nothing but pity, a moment of weakness because he seemed so desperate?
Why wouldn’t she let him in?
If only she’d tell him what was wrong, he could change.
Or was this divine punishment—for a man who had spent his life wounding others’ hearts, now to know what it was to be refused?
Regardless, Marsha was mistaken if she thought he would give up.
He would stay by her side no matter how she tried to push him away.
Letting go was not an option.
He’d rather die first.
A storm churned inside him.
Was this truly who he was?
He saw now the truth of his bloodline—his mother, who could never release his father, and his father, who hid his lover away rather than let her go.
That same possessiveness lived in him.
Disgusting.
The thought made him sick, yet he couldn’t suppress it.
Bowing his head, Claudio pressed a hand over his mouth.
Then came her trembling voice.
“…I’ll try.”
He lifted his gaze.
Marsha, taut with nerves, forced herself to meet his eyes.
“Standing beside you now, I realize I’ll only keep blaming meaningless things. I might scold myself for smiling, for letting myself love, and blame that for why I can’t find the culprit.
I don’t want to start blaming you too.
That scares me.”
Her lips quivered, but she went on.
“I’m foolish. I get swept away by feelings too easily. So… I’ll try not to lose myself in circumstances or emotions anymore.”
Even if the culprit was never found. Even if her situation never changed.
She would grow strong enough to carry both her burdens and this tender feeling in her heart.
“When I’ve done that, I’ll say it first. That I love you. And I’ll ask if you still feel the same.”
Her voice trembled like a fragile thread in the rattling carriage.
“I’ll do my best not to take too long…”
“No.”
Claudio’s reply was sharp, unyielding.
.
.
.
