Chapter 13
He yanked my pants down in one motion, and I finally realized he wasn’t joking. I started begging him in a softened tone: “Yu Jin, Yu Jin, don’t you remember? I have an infectious disease…”
“Is that so?” he said. “Then I want to see whether you really can infect someone.” As he said that, before I even had time to react, he took off his pants, and without the slightest foreplay, forced himself inside me.
I screamed in pain, and in an instant cold sweat broke out; my back felt icy. Then he began to act roughly. I couldn’t feel any pleasure at all—after the pain passed, I could only endure it numbly, watching his face flushed red, watching him sweat profusely.
He still wore an expression of disgust toward me, even at a moment like this. I wondered whether he looked the same when he was with other women. Probably not—after all, other girls must be virgins.
Suddenly I thought of that woman, the one I saw when I came out of the consultation room. She was wearing familiar high heels, her back hurried as she left. I seemed to suddenly understand why Yu Jin had come looking for me so abruptly, and I also realized that my act of pretending to be sick had been exposed by someone with ulterior motives.
I don’t know how long he went on. When I felt completely numb, he finally pulled out of my body, letting out heavy, rough breaths. I don’t know when I started crying; my tears soaked the pillow.
He quickly put his clothes back on and, without saying a single word, left me collapsed on the bed in disarray. He shut the door and walked away. I thought about it and realized that I truly had been treated like a prostitute—perhaps even worse than one. A machine purely for venting physical desire, with no value beyond sex.
It took a long time before I fully processed what I had gone through. My lower body was torn open again and bleeding. But I could no longer feel pain. I stumbled out of bed and walked to the bathroom, where my stomach suddenly churned violently. Thinking about everything related to that man made me feel unbearably sick.
It felt as if I was going to empty myself completely. By the time I finished vomiting, I had no strength left. I lay slumped beside the toilet, tears streaming down my face, crying for a very, very long time.
After that, whenever Yu Jin called, I only responded with a few perfunctory “mm”s or “oh”s before hanging up. I even had the urge to block all his contact information. He later went to the rental place several times, but I had already stopped living there. I moved into a guesthouse. Even though the roof leaked, there was no kitchen, and the bathroom was filthy, I still didn’t want to go back to the rental apartment or see that person again.
Soon, the day of the class reunion arrived. I finally had a chance to adjust the pent-up emotions that had weighed on me since that day. I rarely wore the red long dress that had been buried at the bottom of my suitcase for a long time. After simply fixing my hair and makeup, I set off for the gathering. The venue was a KTV, an afternoon session. The plan was to sing first, then go eat, and then come back to have more fun. Since it was a class reunion, the idea was simply to gather together and enjoy the liveliness.
I arrived at the agreed location quickly and saw a sign set up outside. On it were written my former department and class. Standing beside the sign, when I looked closely, turned out to be Tang Li. He seemed to have spotted me long ago. I lifted my eyes and met his gaze just in time, and then he smiled at me.
Suddenly I remembered how, back in college, he used to stand under the tree below the dormitory, looking up at me in the building with the same smile. My chest jolted sharply, and I hurriedly lowered my head. He didn’t avoid me at all; instead, he stepped forward and said, “What’s wrong? After not seeing each other for so long, you don’t recognize me anymore?”
“How could that be…” By the end, my voice was barely audible. “Long time no see, haha.”
“It really has been a long time,” he said. “Come on in—everyone’s waiting for you.”
I nodded, and he turned around, walking ahead to lead me to the designated area. There were so many people that even some students from other majors had come to join in the fun. Even after opening two private rooms, the crowd was still too rowdy, so they opened up a public area for us. Some people were sitting in an open space outside the private rooms.
