Chapter 61
I Can Wait Here As Long As Needed
“Dance practice?”
“Yes. It’s been a very long time since I’ve danced with an actual partner, so I was worried I might be in your way.”
Riena nodded in agreement.
“I feel the same. A few years ago, I danced at a party two or three times, but I definitely lack practical experience—my body felt stiff. It would be good to practice beforehand.”
Kasel immediately ordered a servant to bring a magical device that could play music. The servant turned on the music and quickly left the room.
“The first song is a waltz, right?”
Riena placed her hand on Kasel’s shoulder and asked. He responded by placing his hand on her waist.
“Yes.”
“I’m not confident with the waltz, but let’s give it a try anyway.”
Kasel gently took Riena’s remaining hand and began stepping through the dance. Contrary to her worries about not performing well, he led her quite skillfully.
It was actually Riena who felt nervous.
“Hm, it does feel awkward after such a long time. But don’t worry—I won’t step on your feet.”
“You may step on me if you like.”
“My shoes… it would hurt if you did.”
Riena smiled.
“By the way, are all knights naturally good at dancing? Your movements are so graceful. Raul was also a good dancer.”
Riena didn’t notice Kasel’s momentary stiff expression as she looked down at her feet. When she looked back up, he had regained his usual composure as if nothing had happened.
“Generally, yes. But that doesn’t mean all of us dance well.”
“I see. It’s amazing. I wish I had learned a bit of swordsmanship when I was younger. My father was a knight, but I never even held a sword. I regret that.”
“Your mentor must have worried about you getting hurt.”
“Still… it doesn’t matter if I got hurt. I should have learned to protect myself.”
As the atmosphere began to grow somber, Riena quickly changed the subject.
“Do you remember this, Kas?”
She laughed as she naturally moved her feet along with him.
“When we danced together as children, you stepped on my feet all the time.”
“…I don’t recall.”
It was a response anyone would recognize as someone clearly remembering. Riena, pretending not to notice, decided to tease him a little.
“Really don’t remember? There were times when you stepped on me more than five times in a single song. Meanwhile, I never stepped on you once.”
“….”
“Once, you stepped so hard my instep got bruised. I had to wear socks indoors for a while to hide it. Don’t you remember?”
“I swear I never stepped hard enough to cause bruising.”
His claim was true—her previous words were just a playful exaggeration to tease him.
“So you do remember stepping on my feet, then?”
“….”
Riena laughed out loud at his silence, running her hand gently over Kasel’s shoulder. She murmured softly:
“I really enjoyed those times. No worries, just pure happiness.”
“I….”
Kasel said in a low voice:
“I still feel that happiness now.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I’m almost afraid I don’t deserve such excessive happiness.”
“I feel truly honored that I could bring you such joy. But excessive? That’s not true. You fully deserve this happiness.”
Riena stopped moving her feet completely. Kasel also came to a stop.
She gently stroked his cheek, where despite his words of happiness, he seemed almost pained.
“Don’t be afraid of happiness.”
“….”
“No one in this world is forbidden from being happy, nor destined to be unhappy. So don’t feel guilty about your emotions.”
“I….”
Kasel opened his mouth with effort.
“I’m afraid that this happiness might all be an illusion.”
“….”
He took Riena’s hand, which was brushing his cheek, and pressed his lips to her palm. A soft, moist sound came from it.
“I haven’t forgotten that one day I may have to let you go. That wherever you go, I must wish for your happiness.”
“….”
“But I….”
Kasel squeezed his eyes shut. His long lashes trembled, and the hand holding Riena’s also shook.
“I’m already afraid of this mansion without you.”
“….”
“I’ve grown used to this happiness, but if you suddenly disappear, I wonder if I could truly endure it. I ask myself that several times a day.”
“Kas….”
“I even thought maybe it would have been better to ignore this happiness from the start, so that later the emptiness wouldn’t feel so heavy.”
It was the first time she had heard his inner thoughts. His feelings were so raw and vivid that Riena felt a lump in her throat.
“I’ve felt this way since childhood. I was happy when you were there, and unhappy when you weren’t. I cannot bear that pain again. Perhaps I still am that cowardly Kas you nicknamed back then, not having grown at all.”
“….”
“And yet I cannot ask you not to leave. Maybe leaving me would make you happier.”
His confession poured out like a private confession. Whatever had triggered him, Kasel was releasing the feelings he had long kept hidden.
“I should be happy that you are alive and safe, but my selfish desires keep growing….”
At that moment, Riena realized something. Her vague assumption from before might not be mere speculation—it could be true.
Kasel Winkler loves Riena Dyke. He didn’t propose out of duty to his mentor or childhood promises. He came to her simply because he loved her.
If that were true…
Riena parted her lips slightly and finally squeezed out her voice:
“You….”
Do you love me? I haven’t done much for you, only received, and yet you love me? Do I even deserve your love?
She had so many questions but couldn’t bring herself to ask them aloud.
If Kasel answered positively, she didn’t know how she would react. The relief of knowing her feelings were reciprocated was complicated.
She asked herself instead: Am I truly someone who belongs by Kasel’s side? Shouldn’t he be with a woman better than someone as insignificant as me?
Not Riena Dyke, who broke free from her family, but a woman with stronger support, better upbringing, and capable of giving him greater love.
In truth, no one had said so, and Riena didn’t show she knew, but after the engagement announcement, there had been some debate in aristocratic circles about whether she was truly suitable for Kasel.
Rumor had it the emperor intended Kasel for one of the princesses he favored.
Yet he chose a mere count’s daughter instead. Her late father, the previous Count Dyke, was gone, and the current Count Dyke was a ten-year-old half-brother.
On top of that, there were whispers about the family’s weak finances.
Everyone feared Kasel’s anger, but among his retainers, some dissatisfaction surely remained.
Not everyone was supportive of Riena.
Thus, she couldn’t bring herself to give him the answer he sought. But she also couldn’t say he would find someone else to make him happy, because imagining him happy with another woman hurt her heart.
“Kas….”
Instead, Riena tried to convey her feelings indirectly. Perhaps it would be enough.
“When my father passed so suddenly and I was left alone in this world, it was truly difficult. When my mother arranged a marriage without asking me, I wondered how powerless I was, reflecting on my life. But….”
“….”
“I am truly grateful it was you who came to me that day.”
Riena gently brushed her lips across his hand, which still held hers. She felt him inhale deeply through her fingers.
“So please… just a little more time, to sort out my thoughts?”
“That means….”
“Everything is still so confusing I cannot reach a conclusion. But….”
Riena couldn’t finish her sentence. That alone seemed enough, for hope appeared on Kasel’s face.
He steadied his breathing and lightly pressed his lips to the tip of her fingers.
“If that is your wish,” he said, smiling with moisture in his eyes as he looked at Riena,
“I can wait here as long as needed.”
