Chapter 4: A Shattered World
The hotel didn’t bring the dead pigeon back or demand compensation. The persistent servants of Belmore, who had threatened and pleaded relentlessly, eventually stopped showing up altogether.
The convent, at least outwardly, seemed to have regained its former peace.
“Where are you going, sisters?”
Lily’s eyes widened as the nuns began preparing to leave while she was reading nearby.
She had secretly believed that Belmore had backed off or given up, so the sudden departure of the two sisters felt strange.
“To meet Lord Belmore. We haven’t replied to his final offer yet, and it seems he’s stopped coming after us.”
“In that case, I’ll go too.”
Lily closed her book and stood up. But Brigid stopped her firmly.
“This is our matter. What you’ve already done—gathering materials and information—is more than enough. I spoke with Congressman Phil Gordon, and he confirmed that Belmore is indeed a problem.”
No matter how powerful Belmore’s backing might be, when congressmen intervene, even he would have to take heed.
“It would be good if he could give the convent some support.”
“So, Lily, you focus on what you have to do. Next week, we’ll also make the children’s clothes… We can’t let the hotel distract us from important matters.”
By the usual schedule, they should have been starting choir practice and preparing the Christmas play.
Lily nodded. Come to think of it, the convent’s routine had been at a standstill for quite some time.
When Lily returned to her seat, Sister Brigid smiled gently.
“It won’t be too late.”
“Don’t worry about us and be careful out there.”
“I’m sorry for making you suffer too, Lily.”
Lily pressed her nose against Brigid’s shoulder. The worn, soft fabric carried a faint scent of naphthalene.
“Ah, Lily.”
Sister Brigid turned back suddenly as she reached the front door, as if she had something to say.
“Is something wrong, Sister?”
“No… it’s not the time to talk about it. We’ll do it slowly…”
Lily tilted her head at Brigid’s words.
“Go carefully, please,” she said firmly once more.
The nuns did not return until late.
Lily fed the children, read them stories, and put them to bed. She sorted through letters that had arrived at the convent and opened the books she had folded away. From afar, the cathedral bells rang.
Dong—dong—dong—
The bells rang ten times and then stopped.
Lily was about to give up waiting for the nuns and climb up to the attic when the convent gates suddenly burst open.
Thinking the nuns had returned, Lily jumped to her feet.
But a voice she did not expect called her outside.
Bang! Bang! Bang!
“Lily? Open the door! Something terrible has happened!”
Lily faced the pale face of Old Oliver, clutching his straw hat.
“Uncle Oliver, what are you doing here at this hour?”
He stammered, telling her that something had happened to Sister Brigid.
“To the hospital…? A carriage accident?”
Lily repeated his words, her hands trembling as she held the lamp, the light flickering ominously.
He wiped his tears with a dirty sleeve and urged her to hurry.
Even years later, Lily could not remember how she had gotten to St. Rita’s Hospital that night.
“I thought the sisters were speaking with Lord Belmore properly.”
According to Old Oliver, the nuns hadn’t even been able to enter the hotel.
Belmore had left them outside until late at night. Sister Bolina had tried to convince Brigid to go home, but Brigid had stubbornly refused.
“At that moment… a carriage… came rushing, and maybe they didn’t see the sisters.”
The two sisters had been waiting for Belmore in the dark and had suffered a terrible accident.
Old Oliver’s voice was thick, and Lily nervously bit at her nails. The carriage seemed to move far too slowly.
“Are the sisters… alright?”
Lily asked in a trembling voice.
Old Oliver did not answer. When they arrived at the hospital, Lily jumped from the carriage.
“Over there, Lily.”
Old Oliver hurried after her, pointing shakily toward the hospital room.
Then, for the first time since the narrow carriage, he spoke the words he could not before.
“Sister Brigid… pushed Sister Bolina out of the way. Sister Brigid… couldn’t avoid it…”
Before Oliver could even finish, Lily flung open the hospital room door. Cold air and the smell of medicine stung her nose. A large bed lay alone, covered with a white sheet.
“Sister…?”
It was impossible to believe that a body so warm just that afternoon could turn so cold. As she reached to lift the sheet with trembling hands, someone grabbed her hand to stop her.
“It’s better if you don’t see it.”
Lily knelt in front of it, silently crying. She had never cried out loud before—her tears had always been swallowed inside, her words trapped.
‘I shouldn’t have said “Go carefully.” I should have just held you back. I’m sorry, Sister. I’m so sorry.’
People pulled Lily away.
“No! Let me go! I’m staying! I won’t leave the Sister alone!”
“She’s passed away. It’s over now…”
“It’s my fault. I was the one who suggested persuading Lord Belmore. We could have just gone to East Longfellow. I wanted to fight… to find my parents… I… I—”
No matter how much Lily called, the sister under the white sheet did not move.
Lily was dragged away, powerless against the rough hands. Old Oliver held her tightly, his eyes bloodshot.
“I never thought of myself as an orphan,” Lily said in a dazed voice.
“But now… I understand.”
Hearing this, Old Oliver shook with tears.
“Lily… what are we to do now… such a terrible thing…”
Lily’s mind, however, felt cold. After the extreme of grief, emotions became simple.
“Don’t cry, Uncle.”
She pulled a soft handkerchief from her apron pocket—one given to her long ago by the man she had met in the greenhouse. That memory felt like ages ago.
Back then, life’s worries were a bird killed by a cat or sleeves too short for growth. Lily laughed at her past self.
She handed the handkerchief to Old Oliver and moved on to Sister Bolina’s hospital room.
Sister Brigid was buried at the Londinium Public Cemetery. The convent had wanted a grave on its grounds, but Belmore refused.
Lily often spent long periods by a small, modest new grave beside others reserved for the nameless.
“You’re not coming out yet, Sister.”
After visiting the cemetery, Lily hurried when she saw Bolina limping into the garden.
“I need to practice walking too. I don’t want to be leaning on a cane at a respectable age.”
Bolina shook her head, trying to steady her trembling legs. Lily followed closely behind.
“The authorities said that since the convent hasn’t been licensed as an orphanage, all the children here have to leave.”
Bolina could not handle Belmore alone.
Walking slowly across the garden, Bolina spoke, the leaves from last year crunching underfoot.
“We decided to keep the relics here. With Brigid gone, it seems right to leave when Belmore says he’ll build the convent.”
Her voice trembled slightly.
Lily squeezed Bolina’s hand to give her strength. She bowed her head and spoke solemnly.
“They said if the convent moves to East Longfellow, they’ll give the orphanage license. Then all the children we’re caring for can go there too.”
“And if we stay here instead of moving to East Longfellow?”
“It would be illegal to keep the children. Young ones would go to St. Mongo, and those ten and older would be sent to vocational training.”
Who had given them such a cruel choice—between the convent and the children?
There were people who would benefit from the sister’s death, but for everyone else, it was just a routine carriage accident. Something that could happen anywhere, anytime.
If Bolina had died too, no one would have protected the children.
Lily had no choice but to nod. Bolina, reading Lily’s expression, spoke the hardest words.
“But, Lily… if the orphanage license is granted… we won’t be able to keep you. Children over nineteen must become independent.”
Lily’s feet froze. She pushed leaves away with the tip of her worn shoes.
She had vaguely known she would have to leave the convent someday. But she had never imagined it would be like this. She felt as alone and cold as a newborn bird wet from the egg.
After a moment of silence, Lily spoke with calm resolve.
“Sister, I cannot go to East Longfellow.”
Her nose was red, but she forced her voice steady. Since Brigid’s death, she had not shed a tear.
“I will wait for my parents here. If everyone goes to East Longfellow, there will be no one to tend Sister Brigid’s grave.”
She avoided Bolina’s gaze, looking toward the grand hotel building, and steadied her voice.
“I’m fine. I’m of age to be independent anyway. I can live on what I learned at the convent. Don’t worry about me, Sister.”
The two walked in silence through the narrow garden. From the hotel side came the cruel sound of cheerful violins.
Like a tidal wave, Belmore swallowed them whole. Lily’s memories, her family, and the protective world she knew were swept away in an instant.
The name Belmore was disaster itself.
‘It was bound to happen someday.’
The time she had waited like a child for her parents outside the candy shop had run out. She had known the day would come, but she had never imagined it would end like this.
