Chapter 69
How Do You Regard Him?
If the Commander were the kind who didn’t forgive traitors, the moment he found out that Karl had been involved in my kidnapping, he would have punished him severely.
I didn’t want Karl to suffer such a fate.
Even though he had betrayed me, he had been my friend for a long time.
So, I only wrote this:
Be careful of Raymond.
If you are still with Raymond, you must separate from him immediately.
I’ve seen him a few times apparently reporting something to His Majesty the Emperor using the Western letters.
It would have been dangerous to write that Raymond had kidnapped me outright.
If the Commander found out that Ernant had kidnapped me through Raymond, he certainly wouldn’t have held back either.
He would undoubtedly question Ernant about this incident, and in that case, bloodshed might sweep through the Empire.
So, I decided to hide everything for now.
Anyway, don’t worry too much. I will return soon. I plan to come back as soon as my health permits.
Even after writing this, there was still empty space on the letter.
Since the Commander was used to receiving concise reports, I couldn’t think of any embellishments to add.
So, after wracking my brain, I finally came up with one sentence.
I keep recalling the moments we shared, again and again, so that those precious memories won’t erode with the passage of time.
After writing that last sentence, I carefully placed the letter into its envelope.
Then, hoping the Commander would receive it well, I sealed it with care.
Of course, I needed Fleet’s help to send the letter.
By chance, I had a tea-time appointment with him, so I could naturally bring it up while drinking tea together.
“Um… may I ask you a favor?”
Fleet, who had been smiling as if something pleasant had happened, widened his eyes in surprise at my request.
Perhaps he was shocked that I, who freeloaded without working, had the audacity to ask for another favor.
…But that worry was unnecessary. He quickly returned a bright smile.
“Finally, my chance has come.”
“A chance?”
“Yes. A chance to properly help you, of course.”
Fortunately, he didn’t seem surprised by my audacity.
Rather, he seemed to think that I was being overly cautious.
“I was worried because you probably needed help but didn’t ask for it yourself. Will you finally give me the chance to assist you?”
“You don’t have to phrase it so politely…”
“So, what kind of help do you need?”
I immediately took out the letter I had been holding close to me and handed it to Fleet.
“You need to inform Duke Martin von Havicht… that is, the Commander of the Silver Knights, that I am alive. He probably thinks I disappeared all of a sudden.”
“Ah… Duke Havicht…”
Suddenly, Fleet’s expression grew cold.
Had he ever shown such a stern look before? It was so sharp that it made me uneasy.
The cheerful man had suddenly stiffened, which startled me slightly.
“Your Grace? If this request is too much, please feel free to say so.”
“No, it’s not unreasonable at all. You’re just delivering a letter.”
Seeing him smile again as if nothing had happened finally put me at ease.
I took a sip of the fragrant tea in front of me.
As the gentle floral aroma filled my mouth, Fleet suddenly spoke the Commander’s name.
“I noticed that Duke Havicht seems to hold you in high regard.”
“‘Noticed’?”
“I mean during the Foundation Day parade. While you and I were talking, the way the Duke looked at you… well…”
Fleet paused, trying to find the right words.
Then he seemed to recall a suitable expression.
“It was a fierce gaze. Like watching someone trying to steal what’s his. I could tell you were favored by the Duke.”
At the time of the parade, my relationship with the Commander wasn’t deep.
We hadn’t even kissed yet.
Would the Commander really favor me, someone who had been manipulated by Ernant’s influence?
Fleet had likely misinterpreted the Commander’s gaze, but I decided not to correct him.
I thought the conversation about the Commander would end there.
However…
“How do you regard him?”
“Huh?”
He looked at me with a smile full of mischief, making me momentarily confused.
Thinking his gaze was unreadable, I answered cautiously.
“I sincerely respect him as a knight. I also hope to become as strong as him someday and am working hard toward that goal.”
“No, that’s not what I mean.”
“Oh…”
“I mean… how do you see him as a man?”
I almost dropped the teacup I was holding.
Such a direct question completely scrambled my mind.
“Uh… that is… hmm…”
What should I say? Should I pretend he isn’t a man?
But that would be a lie.
I clearly saw him as a man.
After kissing him, I didn’t have the audacity to lie like that.
Should I admit that I saw him as a man?
That would be even worse.
If the Vice Commander of the honorable Silver Knights admitted to seeing his superior as a man, it would look ridiculous.
I couldn’t give an answer that would make the Knights seem absurd.
After considering truth versus lie, I chose to lie for the sake of the Knights’ honor.
“I swear I have never looked at Commander Martin in that way. I have always respected him as a knight.”
“Ho.”
“If I, who am supposed to help lead the Knights alongside him, were to harbor personal feelings, it would compromise discipline. The Silver Knights are the Empire’s sole protectors against monsters. Romance within the Knights is out of the question.”
I felt like I was rambling out of panic, afraid my relationship with the Commander would be discovered.
Fleet watched me with a curious gaze as I spoke, like a cat playing with a mouse.
Then, with a subtle smile, he spoke again.
“May I ask just one more question?”
“Yes, of course.”
“You said you cannot date within the Silver Knights to maintain discipline. Then… would you consider finding a partner outside the Knights?”
Again, I almost dropped my teacup.
I only didn’t because my mental focus was strong.
Why does he keep asking such difficult questions?
I chose a careful answer, slightly resenting Fleet.
“It would be difficult to find a partner outside the Knights as well.”
“Why?”
“Because there are tasks only I can accomplish that remain unfinished.”
Fleet nodded lightly.
“You mean closing the rifts.”
“Yes. That’s one of the things I must do. I have to seal the rifts. As one of the Empire’s few top-tier Awakened, if I don’t risk my life to close them, the Empire will face crisis. So, I cannot seek a partner outside the Knights.”
With a slightly bitter smile, I added,
“Who would want to be with a woman whose life could be at risk at any moment?”
Unless the person was a knight like Commander Martin, it would be hard for an ordinary person to be my partner.
From their perspective, my job is too dangerous.
If I leave for a mission beyond the rifts, my partner would be left alone at home, anxiously waiting.
That wouldn’t be fair to them.
“If I were to find a partner, I’d want another ‘knight.’ Both of us risk our lives in battle, so there’s no need for apologies on either side.”
“……”
“Of course, even if I wanted a knight, I would never seek a partner within the Silver Knights. As I said before, it would compromise discipline. I’ve never even considered finding a partner within the Knights.”
I rambled again, worried that Fleet might notice my relationship with the Commander.
Fortunately, he seemed lost in thought and distracted.
After a long moment, he spoke again.
“You want a knight because… you risk your life in battle, right? There’s a chance you might die.”
“Yes, that’s correct.”
“So… if you close all the rifts and retire, then it wouldn’t matter if your partner isn’t a knight?”
