Chapter 12
“What do you mean, a story that could be misunderstood? I don’t quite understand your meaning.”
“If you don’t get it, that’s fine. Just don’t go around saying that even in my sleep I was conscious of Rochefort. How long was I asleep?”
“Rather than asleep… it seemed Your Excellency was seriously ill. To answer your question, you were lying in that state for about three days.”
“Haah, again…”
Three days. That meant her collapse couldn’t be chalked up to mere fatigue. Unless, perhaps, that illness had returned.
How many years had it been since she last suffered a sudden fever like that? Even counting from the end of her previous life, it had been at least a decade. The recurrence of the symptoms made Mia instinctively let out a spoiled complaint, like she used to as a child.
But unlike her younger self, Mia didn’t finish her sentence. That was because there was no one left to indulge her now—only the cold-faced deputy commander of the Holy Legion. No, a junior officer, at best.
“…”
With a sigh, Mia changed the subject.
“Since you’re already here, could you get my medicine? It should be in the top drawer of the dresser.”
Pavert, being sharp, brought her the correct medicine on the first try. Without changing his expression, he asked stiffly,
“You said ‘again’—does that mean this wasn’t the first time? Am I right?”
“You’re right. I used to suffer from similar fevers when I was a child.”
Pavert’s unchanged expression now felt somehow more ominous than before. Did he think she was unfit to remain on the battlefield? Growing anxious, Mia quickly added,
“But I’m fine. All of that happened before I turned twenty, and it’s been over ten years since anything like this happened. Aside from the initial high fever, the symptoms weren’t severe, and I don’t need care. It won’t interfere with my duties on the battlefield.”
Pavert shook his head.
“That’s not what I meant. It’s just… hmm. How should I put it?”
“Please, go on.”
“The symptoms you’ve shown over the past three days closely resemble the kind of fever priests or knights experience when they first awaken to divine power…”
“…”
“Why do you look at me like that?”
“So, you mean… are you saying I may have really awakened divine power?”
“Have you not? According to what I heard from the commander—”
“I don’t know. I… I don’t…”
The night before she collapsed flashed through Mia’s mind. She had been overjoyed, thinking she had received the goddess’s blessing, only to be told—almost as a certainty—that she had not.
Her doubts about her powers, which had surfaced because of Rochefort, came rushing back with Pavert’s words.
Only now did Mia realize how easily she could be swayed by others’ words.
‘Whether it’s true or not… I’ll have to investigate more thoroughly.’
Still, she wanted to believe what Pavert said.
She had suffered so much for not having divine power. Wanting to believe this was only natural.
“Let’s talk about that later. Has anything happened in the meantime that I should know about?”
“I don’t know what happened that night, but the commander was completely out of it until morning.”
Hmm… I don’t even know why that was, either. Mia thought for a moment, then asked again,
“Anything else unusual?”
“Oh, a messenger came by three days ago. He was looking for you, Your Excellency. Said his name was Charles… Do you know him?”
Mia’s face turned pale.
For someone like Charles to come all the way to the border, something significant must have happened in the capital.
And the fact that he hadn’t waited for Mia could only mean the situation had been too urgent.
At a time like this, if something was too urgent… it likely meant—
Mia’s expression hardened.
She should have realized as soon as she was told three days had passed. But since returning, she kept blacking out and missing things—as if someone had tampered with her mind.
“We need to leave. Immediately. To Glen.”
* * *
“I have something urgent to discuss with you.”
“Yes, let’s speak somewhere else—”
“No. I’d prefer if you came to my room tonight.”
You should just give your room to Sir Pavert. The implication was clear.
The biggest challenge during a march wasn’t the long journey—it was securing shelter. What were the chances of finding a building off the beaten path that could house so many people? So the fact that the Holy Legion didn’t have to sleep on the dirt that day was nearly miraculous.
Unsurprisingly, the inn they found was extremely cramped. But given the circumstances, none of the soldiers were stupid enough to complain openly.
Despite the poor conditions, the commander and his strategists, including a few senior officers, were each given their own rooms. But Mia was more than willing to give hers up for the Holy Legion’s deputy commander.
For the sake of this “urgent talk”—and more importantly, for the success of their “plan”—that kind of discomfort was worth enduring.
Besides, for Mia, the size or luxury of the inn didn’t matter much.
Unlike a few years ago, when she was still clinging to her noble upbringing, Mia Blancheard now—though her combat skills had barely improved—was someone who could fall asleep wrapped in a single blanket, even in the harshest of places.
Mia had Etienne sit on her bed. Since there was no way a room for one would have multiple beds, it meant she was offering to sleep on the floor. It was an act of courtesy to a superior, but for someone like Mia—who had never once yielded to anyone—it was quite unusual.
But Etienne ignored the bed and sat beside Mia instead, speaking first.
“So, what is this urgent matter you mentioned?”
“Sir, you want to win, don’t you?”
A predictable question. Perhaps for a lowly soldier it might not be, but a legion commander wouldn’t wish for the disgrace of defeat. Etienne gave a reluctant nod.
“And you’d do anything for victory?”
Etienne nodded again.
That was enough. If victory was all he wanted—if that was what Etienne Rochefort truly desired—
Then Mia could give him exactly that.
It was a relief. If he had wanted anything beyond victory—something entirely different—then Mia wouldn’t have been able to help him this easily.
A faint smile tugged at her lips.
“Good. Then I’ll need your cooperation.”
“With what, exactly?”
“From the moment we leave this inn—we’ll be lovers.”
“…Excuse me?”
“Trust me. There’s no better cover than a man and woman traveling together.”
“Do we… need to travel together?”
“There’s something I need to investigate.”
“That kind of task could easily be assigned to the soldiers.”
Mia simply repeated herself.
“Trust me.”
The voice of a capable person, filled with confidence, had a calming power. Anyone who had survived this war relying on her words would understand.
So Etienne chose to trust her once more.
“On one condition.”
“I’m listening.”
“If pretending to be lovers is for the sake of creating a believable cover, then shouldn’t we make it public to be convincing?”
Mia pressed her lips together. Of course, he wasn’t wrong. She had thought of it too.
‘Still, the fact that he brought it up himself so easily is… unexpected.’
While Mia silently pondered, Etienne spoke again—this time with a slight smile in his voice.
“So, would you confess in front of everyone? Say that I’m your ‘lover’ so that all may know.”
What kind of proposal was this? Mia hadn’t expected the commander to counter her offer with something even more outrageous. She stared at him, speechless.
Etienne Rochefort was difficult for Mia. He was hard to understand—and thus hard to handle. His elegant smile, his effortless kindness, his playful teasing that never quite crossed the line, his overwhelming gentleness—all of it was too much. The fact that she hadn’t experienced half of it in her previous life didn’t help either.
If there had been a logical explanation, maybe she could have accepted it. But Mia hadn’t grown up being able to accept kindness that came without warning or reason.
So if this affection had a reason—if this was just an act of playing lovers, devoid of irrational emotions—then she could handle it.
She hoped Etienne would treat her with just that kind of distance.
A tool to achieve what couldn’t be accomplished in her last life. That was the right role for Mia to play.
Mia stared quietly at Etienne, who still looked dazed, then spoke again.
“Anyway, if we’re going to act like lovers while undercover, I need to know more about you.”
“About me?”
“Things like… how you lived, what you’ve been through. A lover wouldn’t be ignorant of those things, would they?”
“…”
“Sir. I want to know what kind of thoughts you’ve lived with.”
Etienne’s eyelashes trembled. Mia watched the flicker in his pupils for a long time.
Truthfully, even this thin excuse—this cover for her curiosity—was an attempt to ease her guilt. Mia had never known what Etienne was thinking when he made his final choice. That senseless sacrifice haunted her.
Like so many things she hadn’t understood in her life. It had been her failure—and perhaps her fatal flaw. She could not afford to make the same mistake again.
To avoid that, she had to know. Who Etienne Rochefort really was. What kind of heart he had lived with.
“…You might be disappointed.”
Etienne, oblivious to Mia’s thoughts, was simply embarrassed. He wasn’t used to this kind of interest.
“How could I be disappointed in something I was curious about first?”
Mia gave a soft smile. It was the kindest expression she could consciously manage.
What is even going on??? A lot is left unsaid for the sake of “suspense” but not having the relevant information about what’s going on or what happened in the previous timeline is just making things confusing.