Chapter 06 …
Recently, when I had casually asked, “Who would even date someone like that?” I was told there wasn’t anyone. But now that I thought about the sweet, delicious desserts that had once filled the refrigerator, it seemed more plausible that there actually was someone.
Who would my brother end up dating? Or… was he already seeing someone? The thought suddenly made me curious.
I sat in the window seat he had been sitting in earlier and looked outside at the warm scenery. Autumn was approaching, but for some reason it felt like spring flowers might bloom at any moment.
Nam Chae-hyun….
Just saying his name in my head made my heart pound wildly. It felt like a bell ringing somewhere deep inside me—deeper, and deeper, and deeper.
Ah… what am I going to do?
This one-sided love trapped me on its track like an endless marathon I couldn’t escape. Was it because I hadn’t met anyone more handsome than Chae-hyun? There was no one else who made my heart race the way he did.
And whenever this unrequited love seemed to be slowly fading downward, Chae-hyun would always throw me a carrot, as if telling me to hang in there. Like today.
So I had no choice but to keep running this race. Not knowing whether Chae-hyun would be at the end or not. Growing my feelings recklessly, blindly.
“Seoyeon is more important to me.”
I recalled what Chae-hyun had said just a moment ago.
“Ah… what do I do?”
Why does something so painful feel so good?
What is this contradictory feeling?
I hugged the bag he had briefly held and returned to me, biting my lip tightly.
From somewhere deep underground, a bell kept ringing toward Chae-hyun.
* * *
“I’m doomed.”
I said it while looking at myself in the mirror—or more precisely, at the orthodontic braces neatly fixed on my teeth.
I had gotten braces. It wasn’t completely unexpected, but now that they were on, I immediately wanted to pretend it never happened.
“Doctor, I’ve never even had a boyfriend yet.”
“What does that have to do with orthodontics?”
“Think about it. I won’t even be able to smile freely. How am I supposed to date someone?”
“You can still do everything.”
“No, I can’t. I really can’t. Can’t we just postpone it a little longer? Please?”
“It’s better to finish before university. Think about it carefully.”
“……”
“It’s better to do it quickly and get it over with, right?”
“…Yes. I guess so.”
Lying on the dental chair, I imagined my adult self and Chae-hyun, and with that imagined strength, I made my decision.
If the doctor had agreed to postpone it, I was confident I could’ve convinced my mom instead. Instead, I ended up being the one convinced by the doctor. Fine. I was investing in a better future! A long-term investment!
But I had no idea the process of that investment would be this depressing.
“Haa…”
After sighing, I placed a hand over my lips. My protruding mouth felt unfamiliar.
“I’m seriously doomed…”
At this rate, I wouldn’t be able to eat ice cream with Chae-hyun.
“What the—are you serious?”
As soon as he entered the classroom, Park Chansung burst into laughter at the sight of me staring into space with a gloomy face.
“You got braces?”
At his question, I nodded.
“You kept insisting you wouldn’t, but you did it in the end.”
Nam Seoyeon, who had come in with him, said that while looking back and forth between us.
“How do I look?”
“What do you mean, how do you look?”
“Do I look funny with braces?”
“No?”
Just as I felt a small spark of hope at Seoyeon’s answer—
“You look hilarious.”
Park Chansung killed it instantly.
He squinted at me, and when he saw my expression change, he snickered again.
“Ah, Yoo Eun-sam. I really can’t get used to this. You look like a duck from the side.”
See? I really am doomed.
It wasn’t even that the braces had failed—but the fact that I couldn’t face Chae-hyun like this for a while made me feel devastated.
I wondered when the mobile gift voucher I gave Chae-hyun would expire.
I took out my phone to check. A small whining sound escaped me. No matter how long the validity was, it wouldn’t last until I could remove these braces.
“Does it hurt?”
Seoyeon pulled out a chair and sat beside me.
“It hurts. I keep biting my cheeks, and everything inside is sore. I can’t even eat sour candy anymore. So sad.”
“Let me see.”
At her words, I obediently showed my teeth.
“You haven’t put the lower braces on yet?”
“Yeah. They said they’ll pull things first and then attach them. Maybe next month?”
“Oh, but it doesn’t really stand out. I can barely tell even when you mention it.”
“Really?”
My eyes lit up, but Chansung immediately shook his head.
“Look from the side. Your mouth sticks out like crazy.”
My bright eyes quickly cooled down.
“Yoo Eun-sam, I think you’re getting sensitive. I should be careful.”
From behind Seoyeon, Chansung teased while shaking his body. Should I hit him or not?
I glared at him with wide eyes, and he quickly backed away.
“Hey, by the way, when are you bringing Chansung’s ID photo?”
After confirming Chansung was gone, Seoyeon leaned in and whispered secretly.
“Oh, I forgot. I’ll bring it from home.”
“Okay.”
She smiled happily. Now that she had Chansung’s ID photo leverage, I took the chance to ask something I’d been curious about.
“I ran into your brother at the dentist a few days ago.”
“Chae-hyun?”
“Yeah. I saw him on the bus by coincidence. The number 20 bus going to Girim-dong. Does he go there for tutoring or something?”
My lips suddenly felt dry. Pretending not to care, acting casual—it wasn’t easy. I was just asking out of curiosity, but for some reason I felt guilty, like I was lying to Seoyeon.
“I don’t know.”
She shrugged.
“Maybe he was going to meet a girl.”
Just a guess, but it still made my heart sink.
“Does your brother have a girlfriend?”
I leaned forward without realizing it. Then, worried I looked too eager, I casually brushed a strand of hair off her uniform collar.
“I don’t know. He used to have one, then didn’t, so I stopped caring. These days he does go out at night to take phone calls though.”
Seoyeon brushed her uniform as if searching for the hair I had just removed.
I sat there dazed, my mouth slightly open as if words might come out—but they didn’t.
“Oh… I see.”
I sat back properly.
I suddenly remembered Chae-hyun getting off the bus and taking out his phone. I didn’t know whether he was calling someone or receiving a call, but he had definitely been on the phone with someone.
He had given me carrots on the bus, and that had fueled my one-sided love even more. If it had gone further, it might’ve been dangerous.
Nam Chae-hyun is overly kind in a way that sometimes makes people misunderstand.
Why did he suggest eating ice cream together? No, wait—it’s not really something that strange to say. Maybe I’m the one misunderstanding.
“I don’t know…”
“What don’t you know?”
Seoyeon asked, noticing my mutter.
“Huh? Oh, nothing. Just talking to myself.”
She laughed it off as if it were nothing. The preliminary bell rang.
“Already? Ugh, I hate math. See you later, Eun-sam.”
“Yeah.”
She got up and went back to her classroom.
I fiddled with my phone, then opened the messages with Chae-hyun as if my patience had run out.
[Chae-hyun: Let’s eat together next time]
Well, he probably just said it casually. Out of politeness. Because I gave him a gift. So I shouldn’t expect anything.
I turned off the phone and looked out the window. The sky was a deep blue, like waves about to crash.
“Nice weather.”
On such a nice day, what is Chae-hyun doing?
I imagined him in another school, another classroom.
My aching teeth throbbed again.
* * *
“Oh, the bus is here.”
I stood up from the bench as I saw the bus entering the stop.
Until a few weeks ago, I always felt nervous when taking the bus. Even though I knew Chae-hyun would be at school, I worried I might run into him.
If I hadn’t gotten braces, I might have welcomed that possibility—but not now. Now I constantly worried about how I looked when smiling.
I just hoped I wouldn’t meet Chae-hyun until I got these braces removed.
I boarded the bus and looked around. Thankfully, I didn’t see his school uniform.
I sat down, rested my head against the window, and listened to music.
Maybe I had liked him for too long. I often thought of Chae-hyun while listening to music.
As a result, my playlist had become full of love songs—beginning of love, breakups, love triangles, everything. I imagined dating Chae-hyun, breaking up, crying, getting back together… my mind was a mess.
“You, my eyes see only you, can’t you see me too…?”
Those kinds of desperate unrequited-love lyrics flowed into my ears.
I took out my English vocabulary book. Tests were becoming more frequent, so I had to memorize whenever I could.
I read the words, silently pronounced them, and turned the page.
A sharp pain hit my finger.
“Ah.”
When I flipped it over, I saw I had cut my finger on the paper. I pressed the skin near the cut, and a bead of blood formed.
Great. I can’t even suck it.
As I stared at it helplessly, the person next to me stood up. Soon after, someone else sat down.
A familiar scent hit me.
Wait… what was that?
While trying to remember, I suddenly thought of Seoyeon’s house. That scent from Chae-hyun when he placed a cup on the table and looked at me.
I turned my head instinctively.
I almost thought my eyes would pop out.
“Eh?”
I never expected Chae-hyun to sit right next to me like this.
He moved his bag to the front, placed it on his lap, and turned toward me. Then, as if just noticing me, he raised his eyebrows slightly.
“Yoo Eun-sam.”
He said it as if he hadn’t known, but not at all surprised.
I reflexively covered my mouth with both hands and greeted him.
“Hello.”
“Hey. Dentist again today?”
At his question, I nodded without removing my hands. Then I turned my head toward the window, still covering my mouth.
No way. Isn’t he supposed to be at school right now?
I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t. Keeping my mouth shut was the only way to hide my braces.
