Chapter 4 …
I cupped my cheeks with both hands as I watched Seoyeon’s fingers curl inward, then shifted my gaze to the gleaming gym floor, polished smooth with a mop.
Looking at the wide gymnasium reminded me of when I was smaller, when the space felt even bigger than it does now. Even in such a vast place, Chaehyun’s presence had always stood out.
It was back in elementary school. I first saw Chaehyun at Aramdan, which I joined after following Nam Seoyeon. I didn’t fall for him at first sight. I just thought, he looks similar to Seoyeon, yet different.
Then, when I was in 4th grade and Chaehyun was in 6th, we went on an experience trip together. We walked through forest paths and spent a day camping, setting up tents on an outdoor field.
During free time, I was playing hide-and-seek with my friends and hid in a storage room. Somehow, the door got locked. I should’ve hidden somewhere more accessible, but I’d gone too deep in—that was my mistake.
I struggled on my own to get out, but when I failed, I burst into tears. The ceiling was high, and even the small window was too far above for me to reach.
What if everyone leaves me behind?
The light was fading, as if the sun was setting. I crouched by the door, crying, when I heard voices from outside.
“Yoo Eunsaem!”
“Hey! I’m in here!”
Click—
The doorknob rattled uselessly.
“Hey, it won’t open!”
Hearing that devastating voice from outside made me cry even harder.
“Waaah, please get me out!”
“Wait! I’ll go get the teacher!”
“Why? It won’t open? Guys!”
“We’ll be back soon! Just wait!”
I heard the children running away in a group. They said they’d bring the teacher, but I didn’t want them to go, so I shouted for them to stay. No one came back.
“Waaah… hurry back, guys…”
As I wiped my tears with my scraped hands, I heard a creaking sound—the door opening.
When I turned around, someone was opening the window from outside, the one facing the wall.
The window opened fully, and someone climbed over the wall and through it.
A friend?
Sniffling, I looked at them.
Thud—
They jumped down, dust scattering. I stared at the person who had ended up trapped like me, my face still soaked with tears.
“Ah… I got cut.”
The person looked at their palm, then lifted their head to look at me. The one who seemed about my height—
It was none other than Seoyeon’s older brother, Nam Chaehyun.
“You shouldn’t come in here—the door won’t open…”
“I know.”
Then why come?
When I looked at him curiously, he said he heard someone crying while passing by.
“…I’m Seoyeon’s friend.”
Even while sniffling, I felt like I should introduce myself. He nodded, as if he understood.
“You’re Eunsaem?”
Chaehyun, who had just jumped down from the high window, asked as he looked at me. When I nodded, he slowly approached and looked me up and down.
“Are you hurt?”
He took my hand and checked for scratches, and I was startled to see drops of blood falling from his hand.
“Ah! You’re bleeding!”
“Yeah. Don’t worry. It’s not your blood—it’s mine.”
“That’s exactly the problem!”
“It’s fine. Just a small cut. Can you step on me and climb up there?”
He pointed at the window he had come through. Since we were about the same height, I doubted I could actually climb out even if I stepped on him. I didn’t answer, but he seemed to read my expression and brushed the back of his head.
“If we wait a bit, the teacher will come. The kids said they’d be back.”
“My friends?”
When I nodded, he turned his head slightly.
We sat side by side on the floor, waiting for the teacher to open the door. The sun had fully set, and both outside and the storage room were dark.
The silence scared me, so I hugged my knees and trembled. Chaehyun, sitting next to me, held out his hand.
“If you’re scared, do you want to hold my hand? We learned that during activities, remember?”
“…Yes. But won’t your hand hurt?”
“This is the other hand. You can hold this one.”
“…Okay. Then I’ll hold your hand.”
I was so scared that I didn’t even feel embarrassed. Holding his hand, I just wished to get out of there quickly. Maybe to calm me down, Chaehyun kept talking to me.
“Teacher, over here! Eunsaem is here!”
Soon, my friends and the teacher arrived, making a loud commotion.
“They’re here!”
I let go of his hand and jumped up, banging on the door.
Later, I found out the door had been locked with a padlock—it was something Kim Junseo did during hide-and-seek, just for fun.
The teacher cut the lock, and the door opened.
“Eunsaem!”
I ran out and hugged my friends in relief, but then I suddenly remembered someone and turned back.
“Ah, Chaehyun came in through the window to help me, and he hurt his hand.”
I told the teacher, and we all went to the nurse’s office.
“Sit here.”
At the teacher’s words, Chaehyun sat on a round stool. I stayed back, but from a distance I saw—it wasn’t his palm, but his finger that was cut.
“Where did you cut it?”
“Probably while climbing through the window.”
“Try bending your finger.”
He clenched and unclenched his fist. Thankfully, the teacher said it didn’t seem like a nerve injury.
When the wound was disinfected, white foam formed. Just watching made me wince.
“Ugh…”
I let out a small groan as if I felt the pain instead. Chaehyun looked up at me with a blank expression. He himself seemed completely unfazed.
Watching him being treated, I realized my heart was trembling. His hand, which I had held in that dark storage room, had been warm.
When I kept staring, he glanced at me.
“I’m fine, so go play.”
Looking at him, I wondered if all sixth graders were this dependable. He felt completely different from the boys my age, who only knew how to shout and tease.
On the way back to the tent, I asked,
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“No. Not really.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. Really.”
After saying that, he left with a casual remark and returned to his friends.
A few hours later, I saw Chaehyun getting out of a car. It turned out the teacher had taken him to the emergency room, worried the wound might get worse. His finger was wrapped in a bandage.
What?!
As I stared in shock, our eyes met. He gave a faint smile as if telling me not to worry, then went back to his friends.
Watching him walk away, I thought something terrible had happened—because it felt like it was all my fault.
So the next day, with the emergency money my mom had given me, I bought strawberry milk and hovered around where the sixth graders were.
“Looking for me?”
A voice came from behind. I turned in surprise—Chaehyun was there.
“Oh—yes.”
My eyes immediately dropped to his bandaged hand.
Seeing my worried expression, he gave an awkward smile.
“Why me?”
“Well, um…”
I was worried that Seoyeon’s family might hate me because of this. Seeing me look down, he waved his bandaged hand.
“I’m fine.”
With my lips pressed together, I held out the strawberry milk.
“I brought this for you. I hope you eat something nice and get better soon.”
His eyes widened slightly as he looked at me in silence. Then he smiled softly and accepted it.
“Thanks. I’ll drink it well. This is the first time I’ve received something like this—I almost don’t want to drink it.”
Watching him walk away, holding the strawberry milk in one hand and a bandage on the other, I felt something soften in my chest.
I wondered what kind of expression he had on his face.
I placed a hand over my heart. It was pounding.
That was the beginning—
the start of my pathetic, unspoken first love.
“Hey, Yoo Eunsaem. Are you even listening?”
I snapped back to reality to see Nam Seoyeon waving her hand in front of my face.
“Huh? Yeah, I’m listening.”
I straightened up, and Seoyeon continued,
“So earlier, Chanseong…”
It seemed she had been talking about Park Chanseong while I was lost in thought. I nodded and tried to focus.
After school, I waited at the bus stop to go to the dentist. Seoyeon, who had recently entered a pre-high school class, had been complaining about her intense schedule. Today too, she whined about not wanting to go to the academy before boarding the academy bus.
Sitting at the stop, I took out my phone and used the screen as a mirror to check my teeth. Then I turned it on and checked the mobile gift I had sent to Chaehyun—it still hadn’t been used.
“He still hasn’t used it.”
Did he really mean it when he said we should eat together? Or was he just being polite?
I reread his message and smiled to myself. No matter how I thought about it, that day’s conversation had been so enjoyable.
Good job sending it, Yoo Eunsaem.
I wanted to praise myself for that courage.
Just then, the bus arrived. I put my phone away and got up. After tapping my transit card, I stepped inside, pulling my bag to the front so I wouldn’t bump into anyone.
“Ah! I’m getting off!”
Someone rushed out, and suddenly a seat became available. I moved over and sat down near the exit.
I put in my earphones and played some music. Maybe it was because the scenery outside was beautiful—but I found myself thinking of Chaehyun again.
“…So pretty.”
I whispered softly, smiling without realizing it. How could something as simple as “let’s eat ice cream together” make someone this happy?
It felt like the sweetness of ice cream had reached me before I even tasted it.
