Chapter 54
What’s Going On?
At May’s signal to go in, I carefully opened the door.
When I peeked inside the office, Calier was sitting at his desk, working.
I wondered if I had come at the wrong time, and my eyes met Zember’s, who was standing beside him.
“If… you’re really busy, should I come back later?”
Seeing the mountain of papers and the two of them looking busy made me hesitate.
“It’s not urgent for me…”
I smiled awkwardly and took a step back.
The truth was, what I wanted to talk about wouldn’t be a pleasant topic for Calier.
Even if I spoke when he was in a good mood, I wasn’t sure he’d listen.
And right now, buried under paperwork and work stress, he definitely wouldn’t be more open to it.
“Come in.”
After a short silence, he gave permission.
Maybe it wasn’t urgent for him? I slowly walked forward, but I saw Zember widen his eyes in surprise at Calier’s answer.
Of course, before I could figure out what that look meant, he had already hidden it skillfully.
“Then, I’ll prepare some tea, Your Grace.”
Zember gave a mysterious smile and quickly left the office.
Feeling awkward, I stood in the middle of the room until Calier pointed with his eyes toward the sofa for me to sit.
I sat down uneasily on one side of the sofa and said,
“May said it would be fine to come, but maybe I came at the wrong time.”
“It’s fine.”
“…”
“Let’s just say this is today’s tea time.”
Ah, so that’s fine then.
I’d been feeling bad about interrupting him, but hearing him say it could just replace tea time made me feel relieved.
Seeing my more relaxed face, Calier asked in a calm voice,
“So, what is it?”
“Oh, it’s nothing big. I just wanted to ask for a favor.”
“A favor?”
“Yes, I don’t think it’ll be difficult.”
“I’ll decide after hearing it.”
He smiled playfully. I was wondering how to say it when, at just the right moment, Zember returned with tea.
I thanked him with my eyes, and he smiled before leaving again.
As the door clicked shut behind him, I looked at Calier, who was reaching for the teacup, and asked carefully,
“Um… I was wondering if there’s any way to contact Laperre.”
“What?”
Calier’s face instantly twisted.
I quickly added, seeing his reaction,
“I–I don’t mean anything else. I just want to know what’s going on in Zeros.”
“…”
“I thought Laperre could find out regardless of the distance.”
“…Knowing that I dislike you contacting Laperre, you’re still asking—does that mean you want to know something about Delphian?”
After a long silence, he asked this, making me flinch.
I wasn’t asking about Delphian Zeros at all—I really meant the Empire’s Zeros.
Of course, if it were Heidi, she would be more interested in Delphian’s situation than Zeros itself.
‘…No need to correct him.’
Sitting here as Heidi, the right answer would be “yes.”
But now that I knew what feelings he had toward Delphian, I didn’t want to say I was curious about him.
And honestly, I wasn’t interested in Delphian Zeros at all.
“I see.”
But from my silence, Calier seemed to completely misunderstand.
I… don’t need to correct him, but I also don’t like being misunderstood!
“B-but if it’s troublesome for you, you don’t have to do it. It’s not like I absolutely needed to know—I was just curious…”
“I’ll think about it.”
“R–really?”
He’ll think about it? That’s not a refusal?
When I asked again, he just looked at me quietly.
“Yes.”
“…”
“It’s natural to be curious why your once completely trusted fiancé hasn’t come.”
“…!”
He was the first to look away.
Seeing him turn his head, avoiding my gaze, made my chest feel strange for a moment.
Putting down the untouched teacup, he said,
“I’m not saying I’ll contact Laperre. I don’t even know where he is.”
“…”
“What you want is news about Delphian. Laperre’s not the only one who can find that out, so I’ll just call another magician to the castle.”
“Oh, yes. Please do that. Thank—”
Before I could finish, Calier stood up.
“Then if we’re done, you should go now.”
“Oh… I was being a bit inconsiderate, wasn’t I? Thank you, Your Grace.”
I bowed, but I noticed his expression had hardened more than before.
Feeling a bit awkward, I brushed my cheek and smiled at him, but he turned away without hesitation.
Why did he do that?
When he didn’t return my farewell, I felt just a little disappointed.
Later
“Still no today?”
“Yes, he seems very busy since you came back from the village last time.”
Even as she said this, May kept watching my expression. I asked her carefully,
“…May, did I do something wrong to His Grace?”
“What?”
“It’s been over a week since he said it’s hard to have tea time.”
“…”
“Every time I ask, he says it’s difficult. I’m wondering if I’ve been acting thoughtlessly.”
“T-that’s absolutely not it!”
May shook her head firmly, but it wasn’t enough to erase my suspicion.
After hesitating for a while, she added,
“I really don’t think that’s it. He just seemed to have a lot on his mind.”
“…A lot on his mind?”
She nodded hard.
I knew May couldn’t really give me an answer either.
“I see, thanks.”
I smiled awkwardly, and she sighed softly before leaving the room quickly.
‘Does he not want to introduce me to another magician? Or does he just not want me to hear about Delphian?’
I looked at the door that had just closed and let out a sigh, collapsing onto the desk.
“What on earth is going on…?”
At first, I believed May—that he was just busy.
After all, he had been catching up on 10 years of work he had postponed for the sake of revenge.
So, at first, I was even glad he was avoiding tea time.
I liked that he was working to prevent more children like Tommy from going hungry.
And I liked that I didn’t have to live in fear of him finding out I wasn’t Heidi Elliana.
But that gladness faded after a day… then two, then three… and after a week, I was confused.
The truth I’d ignored was now right in front of me—
Maybe it wasn’t busyness, but that he simply didn’t want to face me for tea anymore.
“…That’s too much.”
The complaint slipped out before I could stop it.
“He’s the one who suggested tea time in the first place.”
In Zeros, I never had tea with anyone.
No one cared what I was doing or thinking.
That’s why I was used to drinking tea alone, enjoying silence, and spending time by myself.
Even my love of reading came from that.
But after coming to Esperos, that solitary comfort started to feel… uncomfortable.
‘Let’s eat together. I haven’t eaten yet either.’
‘Is that book interesting?’
‘I brought in tea from Aikman. Let’s drink it together if you have time.’
Like getting wet in a light drizzle without noticing, I didn’t realize my heart was soaking in the time spent with him.
It might sound strange, but even though he kidnapped me, I liked being with him.
I liked not feeling lonely, and I thought he felt the same.
I suddenly sat up from the desk.
I couldn’t know everything just from guessing. There must be things he couldn’t tell me unless I asked directly.
“I should just ask him. That’s the only thing I can do.”
But then, looking at the firmly closed door, I sat back down again.
“O-on second thought, it’s late today. I’ll ask tomorrow.”
Facing someone’s heart, which might not match my own,
I realized—it’s still hard to do, even after years.
