Chapter 04
“Again? Who is it!!”
I tensed up immediately. I had come out to eat alone, and now, just as I finished my meal, someone was knocking as if they’d been waiting? That was a bit much.
‘Is this the male-lead candidate’s aura effect?’
How could they time it so perfectly? I was about ready to curse.
Thinking that, I hurriedly put the paper with my notes into the drawer and locked it with the key before speaking.
“Who is it?”
“May I come in, Erina?”
…It was Russell in the dining room, and now it’s Gawain? Taking turns, huh?
I let out a deep sigh. …Alright, let’s think positively. At least he’s the one who seems most reasonable of the three, so I’ll try to talk things through calmly.
‘It might be me digging my own grave, but honestly, I want to know why they’re breaking character so badly.’
It was even more confusing because I couldn’t imagine a reason for them to act like this.
At least I had recorded the setting and hidden it in the drawer, I’d eaten well, and I had some preparation. So, I figured I should just face it head-on.
“…Come in, Gawain.”
I steadied my voice, and the door opened gently. Gawain’s cautious eyes scanned my expression as he entered. I glanced down briefly before gesturing to the seat.
Gawain stretched his long legs and went straight for the sofa.
His bold action contrasted with his cautious gaze, leaving me momentarily hesitant before I sat across from him.
Silence fell between us. Perhaps feeling the awkwardness, Gawain called a maid to bring tea.
Our quiet persisted until the maid poured tea into both our cups.
“Erina.”
Gawain broke the silence first. His voice was low and heavy as he said my name, and I looked up to meet his gaze.
‘Wow… no wonder he’s a male-lead candidate.’
Maybe it was just escapist thinking, but Gawain’s voice and presence were impressive. Not that I had time to be distracted. Why did he call me here?
I tensed, studying his expression. His face had been dark all morning, even since arriving at the room.
“I… want to apologize.”
His words left me stunned. Apologize? Suddenly? For what?
Perhaps unable to maintain his expression, a faint, wry smile appeared on his face.
“I feel… I’ve been too strict with you until now, and I want to apologize for that, Erina.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
Since morning—or rather, since realizing I had possessed Erina—I had never felt anything but bewildered, but this was particularly baffling.
‘Gawain… apologizing to Erina?’
The Marvas Duchess had been sick and passed away while recuperating at a villa. The Duke was often away, attending to her, and Gawain had filled in for him.
But in doing so, he maintained a strict and cold demeanor.
More precisely, he was strict and cold… only.
Even minor matters that could have been overlooked, even the youngest sibling’s lonely whining, Gawain treated them strictly.
His strictness came off as indifference, enough to hurt Erina.
And now, he was apologizing. Saying he was sorry for being strict.
“Apologize…?”
That man—Gawain, who had always been strict and cold, who hadn’t understood her when she failed her awakening and fell into darkness, who had demanded noble behavior and dignity—was apologizing. Ignoring the original story, he reached out his hand.
I wondered how Erina should react naturally. Should she joyfully grasp his hand and tear up at the sudden gesture?
“Brother… did I… do something wrong?”
No, that wouldn’t make sense. Ten years of history lay between them.
Knowing Erina, she wouldn’t receive his apology purely with joy. She’d probably feel awkward and embarrassed.
Wouldn’t it seem strange for her older brother, strict and cold all her life, to suddenly apologize for his actions?
“Wrong…?”
“Did I do something wrong without realizing it? Did I make a mistake during the funeral? Why… why are you apologizing to me, Brother? You’ve never done this before.”
Gawain’s lips moved, but no words came out.
“Tell me if I was wrong. I’ve been thinking since this morning that something felt off… but I’m flustered.”
Seeing Gawain, who usually only showed such agitation in front of the heroine, act like this in front of Erina was itself astonishing.
Why? Did they all eat something bad? The maids seemed fine…
“…Don’t you think I wouldn’t apologize just because I was wrong?”
After a long pause, Gawain spoke. I shook my head in response.
“Brother, you’ve always been right.”
Yes. Objectively, Gawain always made the correct judgments. With the Duke and Duchess away, he was the highest authority in the house.
His strictness stemmed from concern that indulging whims might cause things to go awry. Not giving in was also a result of his inexperience as a young man.
But the accumulated result of his behavior had left Erina isolated. When she reached out her hand, Gawain hadn’t held it.
And as a reader who supported Erina, I couldn’t view Gawain favorably.
“You couldn’t have been wrong, Brother. The one who was always wrong was me.”
“Erina.”
“So… don’t apologize. You apologizing feels strange.”
At that, Gawain’s lips trembled. His eyes shook as if an earthquake had hit, which was striking, but the important part was elsewhere.
“Brother… why are you acting like this today? Russell, Father… you’ve never come to my room to speak like this before.”
At that, Gawain’s expression became even more remarkable. The change was so dramatic I felt like I’d stepped on a landmine and had to examine it carefully.
No, I hadn’t said anything wrong. Erina had always grown up lonely and on her own.
“Did you have a nightmare?”
Gawain couldn’t answer and just looked at me gloomily. I said something, anything, just to break the silence. A faint light appeared in his eyes.
“A nightmare… yes, I had a nightmare last night.”
“Really?”
I had only said it casually, but what was that reaction? That wistful expression…
‘You weren’t that kind of character.’
Why are you suddenly looking regretful and soft in front of your younger sister? Beautiful face and all, but it feels… wrong. Return to the character I know.
Whether he knew I was silently praying or not, Gawain ran a hand down his face and let out a long sigh.
“It was truly a nightmare I never want to experience again…”
‘What… did he dream Erina died?’
But in the original, even if Erina died, he hadn’t shown any emotional reaction. The funeral was quiet and businesslike.
Yet now, his eyes were moist, nearly ready to cry at the thought.
I could be certain: even if he had dreamed of Erina dying, he wouldn’t act like this. In the original, her funeral passed almost without notice.
The main male lead’s influence and the heroine’s presence may have mattered, but the Marvas family hadn’t shown a single sign of grief.
They simply carried out the funeral as required. That was all.
Though villains often have a miserable end, for readers who supported Erina, her lonely departure had been heartbreaking.
‘She had a story, but still… poor Erina.’
—Don’t be spoiled. You’re the eldest daughter; you should be able to handle this much!
It felt like an echo of a familiar voice. Gawain’s face seemed to overlap with that familiar face, and I gritted my teeth.
“Did you dream of my death? I can’t imagine you dreaming that, Brother.”
Perhaps that’s why my mouth moved on its own:
“Even if I were to die, I don’t think you’d be that sad.”
In the original, that was true. Maybe that’s why readers cared more about Erina.
“If I weren’t here, Mother wouldn’t have had to go to recuperate, and there’d be less for you to worry about—so you’d probably be happier.”
A character so much like me, who always swallowed her troubles and handled everything alone, might have dreamed of a happier reality.
Her ending was so pitiful that Gawain couldn’t speak kindly.
After all, Gawain was also a perpetrator—a family member who inflicted small wounds carelessly.
Even with that expression, that gaze, it might not evoke anything.
And now it was too late. The body might be Erina’s, but the person inside was no longer the little sister they knew.
In this situation, what difference would an apology make? There was no one left to accept it.
