CHAPTER 174……………………………….
Ruelian, who had been walking away, suddenly stopped.
It seemed he had heard my voice.
If that counted as success, there was one problem.
Even though I was sure I had shouted with all my strength, my voice hadn’t come out as loudly as I thought. It had barely reached his ears.
And after forcing out that single cry, all my energy drained away. My body went limp again, returning to that paralyzed state, like being crushed under sleep paralysis.
Ruelian stared at me for a moment, then clicked his tongue lightly and muttered,
“Now I’m hearing things…”
His tone sounded as though he found even himself pathetic.
No. It’s not a hallucination.
But my words couldn’t make it past my lips.
In the silence, only the crackling of the campfire could be heard.
Ruelian looked down at me lying on the blanket for a while, then spoke.
“You’re unconscious right now. But if you’re dreaming… I hope, through the blessing of the gods, my words reach you. That man is not my father. At this point, no matter what explanation I give, no one will believe me.”
“…”
“They’re saying I helped cover up my father’s crimes to hide the shame of my family. Since he failed to kill you, they claim I kept approaching you under the excuse of researching the Amaranthia flower… to give him another chance to finish the job. But…”
He spoke firmly.
“I never deceived you. At least that much… I want you to know.”
Then he turned away again. Through my blurred vision, I saw him walking into the darkness deeper inside the cave.
No!
I screamed inside.
If we parted like this, it felt like we would never meet again. At least, not as the people we knew each other to be.
Before that, the misunderstanding had to be cleared.
With that thought, I forced myself to move with everything I had left.
Suddenly, my chest felt as though it opened up, and my eyes snapped wide open.
“Wait!”
At last, a loud voice burst from my mouth.
At the same time, my body—which hadn’t been able to move at all—jerked as though released.
“…?”
Ruelian turned around.
When he saw me sitting upright, he flinched in shock.
At first, it looked like he didn’t believe his eyes.
But once he realized I truly was awake, his expression changed completely.
Only then did he understand that the “Wait!” from earlier hadn’t been a hallucination—it had been my real voice.
“…!”
Ruelian was utterly flustered.
Of course he was. He had thought I was unconscious, and he had let his true feelings slip without defense.
And on top of that, his father was being accused as my would-be murderer, leaving him with no face to show me.
Ruelian quickly slipped back into the darkness.
“Don’t go!”
I shouted desperately.
“I believe in the innocence of House Lacroix! That’s why I came here—to find the truth! The real culprit is obviously not your father! Someone framed the deceased!”
My voice echoed clearly throughout the cave.
“From the beginning, I felt something was wrong. I didn’t even need to see the evidence—deep down, I think I already believed it. That your family isn’t the kind of filthy criminal house they claim it is.”
As I spoke, emotion surged up in my throat.
“There’s no way I’d fall for such cheap tricks! I’ve watched you through everything we’ve been through together! I know what kind of person you are! You’re an upright man! So don’t worry about something like me doubting you! Don’t leave—let’s find the truth together!”
I shouted with all my sincerity.
“…”
Ruelian stepped out of the darkness and looked at me. His violet eyes were wide.
“You really do have a talent for surprising me, no matter what…”
Was that admiration? Or a sigh?
Words filled with complicated emotion slipped between his lips.
In fact, since the day we met, I had never seen him look so stunned.
It made sense.
It was shocking enough that I had woken up and heard everything.
But I had also cried out that I believed in the Duke of Lacroix’s innocence, regardless of evidence.
That was the opposite of what Ruelian must have assumed was in my heart.
A man once revered as the leader of the Holy Order, now suddenly wrapped in disgrace, even hunted down…
How must my words have sounded to him?
Thinking that way, I understood his reaction.
“…”
For a long moment, we simply stared at each other in silence.
It felt as though we were speaking without words.
We watched the complex emotions flicker in each other’s eyes, until finally, he spoke again.
“Thank you.”
The end of his low voice trembled slightly.
“Thank you for saying that. Honestly… while running, avoiding capture after letting him escape… the thing I feared most was that. That you, too, would feel betrayed like everyone else. That I might have hurt you. That I’d never see you again…”
He let out a quiet sigh.
“…Fine. What more is there to hide? Even after losing everything, even with my life in danger… all I could think about was you. No matter how much I told myself this wasn’t the time for such thoughts, it didn’t matter. I think… I must love you.”
“…”
My heart slammed loudly in my chest.
Surely he could hear it too—
But apparently not.
He lowered his gaze slightly and continued.
“I don’t even know when it started. At first, I admired how you faced every crisis so steadfastly… and then I realized you were also afraid, fragile in your own way… and after that, there was no turning back. The more I tried to deny it, the bigger it grew. Now I can’t control my feelings anymore.”
Then he shrugged lightly.
“So… do what you want.”
With what?
Ah… with his heart?
“…”
I couldn’t say anything. I just stared at him.
Despite the way he tried to act indifferent, his brow was twisted.
As though this emotion—something he had never experienced before—was not just anguish, but pain.
Unable to hide his feelings any longer, he looked as though he were simply waiting for judgment, like a man awaiting a death sentence.
“…”
My heartbeat thundered in my ears.
It had already been racing, but now it was even stronger.
Of course, I…
I remembered the time, right after the Founding Festival began, when the Empress summoned the two of us into her chambers.
After the commotion of me hiding behind Ruelian, we had stepped outside and spoken.
Back then, when I saw his holy mark dye itself the same color as my eyes, I had thought—
Maybe this man… likes me?
That thought hadn’t been unpleasant.
In fact, it made me curious. I wanted to step closer.
But I had held myself back, thinking I was only a possessed soul, that I should know my place.
But now…
There was no need for that anymore.
So I wanted to tell him how I felt.
The problem was—I didn’t know how.
This is my first time too…
I was confused for a moment, unsure what to say, but eventually, I opened my mouth.
“Um… I’ve been wanting to tell you. The engagement is broken.”
Ruelian lifted his eyes at once. A flash of astonishment crossed his violet gaze.
I continued.
“It was a temporary contract from the beginning. His Majesty thought it was best for my safety, and everyone—including me—agreed. But it turns out we were wrong. We made the wrong judgment without knowing the truth. The palace was actually one of the most dangerous places.”
“…”
“But even if that twist hadn’t happened… I think I would’ve made the same decision.”
Looking straight into his eyes, which trembled faintly, I said,
“I didn’t realize it, but an engagement ceremony is much more serious than I thought. Exchanging family heirlooms, receiving blessings from elders… Even if it’s fake, I don’t want to do something like that with someone I don’t truly feel for. I think it should be done with someone… I genuinely want.”
That person is you.
I still couldn’t make my tongue move smoothly enough to say it outright.
It couldn’t be helped. This really was my first time.
The villainess Aristina had always been honest with her emotions.
But after crossing into another world and struggling for twenty years, I had lived with my voice buried low.
I was too busy surviving to pay attention to what I felt.
Somewhere along the way, I became clumsy at expressing emotions.
But thankfully, the world has things that speak in place of words.
The way I looked at him.
My cheeks, burning hot without realizing it.
My trembling hands, tight with nervousness.
They conveyed my feelings for me.
“…”
A reddish flush slowly spread across Ruelian’s face as well.
A blush signaling emotions even he couldn’t control.
He stared at me intensely, then suddenly asked,
“…Can I hug you? Just once?”
“…”
I nodded.
Ruelian stepped toward me. Then he opened his arms and pulled me tightly into an embrace.
“Aristina…”
His whisper of my name came from a broad, solid chest.
Both of us were still damp, our clothes not fully dry, and the cold lingered—
But quickly, warmth replaced it.
“Ruelian.”
I whispered his name too, resting my head against his shoulder, letting out a small sigh.
In that moment, the chaos outside, the fate awaiting us—
All of it disappeared cleanly from my mind.
It felt as though, after a long, endless drifting…
I had finally found somewhere to lean.
