~Chapter 54~
Aisha froze at Killian’s sudden confession.
Right. In the original story, Killian’s past was…
She remembered it clearly—the backstory of Killian Winters.
He was born as an illegitimate son of the Winters family, growing up under endless abuse. Later, he earned merit after countless battles on the battlefield.
Most people either pitied or admired him. But because he had killed his abusive father and older brother to become the head of the family, there were also those who judged him harshly.
But the novel never explained how exactly Killian had been abused. It was just mentioned briefly, only in a few lines…
So what exactly had happened to him?
Aisha stayed silent and waited for Killian to continue.
“Now, I act shamelessly as head of the family. But the Winters house… was a nightmare to me.”
Then he went on slowly.
“I never understood it. Why did they torment me so much? Why couldn’t they love me? Why… why were they always so cruel?”
“….”
“What’s your first memory in life, Aisha Ashton?”
“My first memory?”
She thought for a moment, then spoke softly.
“Being in the arms of the one I mentioned before. The person most precious to me.”
Yes—her grandmother’s embrace. So warm.
“I see,” Killian said.
“And you, Duke?”
“My first memory… was my father kicking me in the stomach. I must have been about four.”
“….”
“It happened all the time. There were more days I was kicked than days I wasn’t—whether by my father or by my half-brother.”
What…
That’s child abuse.
Aisha had expected something like this, but still, wasn’t it too much?
“Winters has a dungeon underground. The place you were so afraid of being locked in.”
Of course, Aisha knew it well. It was mentioned many times in the novel.
She had always cursed Killian for using it—locking people inside, torturing them for information.
“It really is a horrible place. Bugs crawling everywhere, damp walls, dried blood stains… Why do you think I know it so well, Aisha? Because I locked people there? Because I tortured them?”
“….”
“No. It’s because I was the one locked inside.”
…What?
Aisha bit her lip hard.
“For weeks, sometimes months. Living off scraps of trash not even dogs would eat.”
“Why…? Why would they do that?”
“I don’t know.” Killian’s answer was short.
“I can only guess. Maybe they just hated the illegitimate bastard who suddenly appeared in their lives.”
“That’s impossible…”
“…”
“No matter what, you can’t treat someone like that. That’s wrong.”
“Perhaps. But to them, it wasn’t.”
Yes. Otherwise, why would they have said things like—
“Filthy brat. Lower than a beast. You should be grateful we even let you live!”
Why did they call him filthy, when he was his father’s blood?
“Killian, bark. Like a dog.”
Why did his brother always try to trample him?
“What? You’re worse than a dog. You should be thankful we treat you as one.”
Killian’s eyes trembled as he recalled the memories.
“Everything Sunday’s Exposé wrote about my family… was true. At least that part.”
“….”
“When I became an adult, I killed them. With my own hands.”
“You…! How dare you…!”
Even now, he sometimes heard his father’s screams tearing into his ears. That voice, filled with curses.
“I asked myself many times. Was I wrong?”
“That’s…”
“But my conclusion was always the same. To survive, I had no choice.”
“….”
“It was only natural.”
Yet even as he said it was natural, his face carried nothing but sorrow.
“And my father… even at the very end…”
“Pathetic. You know nothing, and you don’t even understand the debt of being raised… hah… hahaha…”
That day, with a sword through his stomach, his father laughed. A mad, genuine laugh.
“Do you think you belong to the Winters family? No… never. Your filthy blood… cough…”
“What do you mean by that?!”
“You don’t even know whose blood runs in your veins… or who your mother is… pathetic…”
Killian had shouted, grabbed his father by the collar, demanded answers.
But it was too late.
What did those words mean?
That he wasn’t really of the Winters family?
Then why had they taken him in? Why torment him?
Killian was still searching for that answer.
“…Anyway, that’s why I was surprised. When I saw Sunday’s Exposé.”
“….”
“And… seeing you, Lady Aisha—knowing everything, yet treating me so casually. Even daring to act reckless around me. I thought it was amazing.”
“Oh my, a compliment? I feel shy—it’s been so long.”
Not a compliment…
Killian looked at her in disbelief as she smiled awkwardly.
“…Hah.”
And then, unexpectedly, he laughed too.
Whenever he was with her, it was always like this. No matter how serious or dark things became, in the end there was laughter. Like now.
“Anyway, if justice was the driving force in your life, then maybe revenge was mine.”
“….”
“That’s why I never wanted anyone close. I hated people’s attention. Everything felt dangerous.”
From the side, Aisha realized he was indeed defensive and avoidant. Now, she finally understood why.
He couldn’t risk being hurt again. Not when he was already covered in scars.
“You know, Duke, I really hated you.”
“What?”
“Of course, it’s not like I like you much now, either.”
“…Are you picking a fight with me right now?”
“No. I just wanted to say—I understand.”
“What?”
“I understand. I’ve also felt that way before. Not wanting to be tied to anyone in the world. I know what that feels like.”
Killian didn’t reply. He just looked at the sky, deep in thought.
Aisha also turned her head, gazing at the stars pouring down through the tangled branches.
After some time, she asked softly—
“Do you think we’ll be okay?”
“….”
“I’m just… worried.”
“You really don’t know, Aisha Ashton.” Killian gave a small laugh.
“I’ve been in crises like this many times.”
“Well, that’s oddly reassuring.”
“I still have things left to do. So I can’t die like this.”
“Things to do?”
What did that mean? Was he planning something reckless?
She wanted to ask more, but after their long talk, drowsiness overcame her. Her eyelids drooped.
“Yes…”
“….”
“Then… goodnight.”
Mumbling strangely, she fell asleep just like that.
She didn’t notice Killian turning to watch her, a faint smile on his lips.
And the next day—
Killian began to move.
Fast, silent, and precise.
