Chapter 57
Leponia froze at the blunt, straightforward apology. When she turned her head, she saw Havelian’s face twisted in pain.
It looked strikingly similar to the expression Leponia herself used to make as a child whenever someone hit her.
Was he beaten by the director?
No. That didn’t make sense. An Aura Master being beaten by a mere orphanage director was an absurd premise.
He doesn’t even look injured, so why does he look like someone who’s been beaten half to death? I was the one who almost got hit.
Havelian didn’t seem to expect an answer from her. He continued apologizing on his own.
“I was wrong. This… this wasn’t what I wanted. I—I… no. I’m sorry. I was wrong. This is my fault.”
It felt strange.
In all of Leponia’s life, Havelian was the first person who had ever apologized so sincerely for his own wrongdoing.
She had heard people say “sorry” lightly before—but never like this. Never like someone begging, pleading, as though asking for her forgiveness.
So Leponia couldn’t say anything.
Not that it was okay.
Not that she forgave him.
“I regretted sending you away, Leponia.”
“……”
“I was so trapped in self-pity that I didn’t realize sending you to the orphanage was the same as abandoning you. I just… I don’t even understand why I thought that way.”
Havelian pulled Leponia tightly into his arms.
Seeing a man who normally looked like he could sleep perfectly upright without a single hair out of place now murmuring in such a careful, aching voice felt oddly pitiful.
When Leponia let out a small sigh, Havelian flinched.
He gently set her down and knelt on one knee in front of her.
“I never wanted you to be hurt. When the carriage carrying you disappeared from sight, I suddenly came to my senses and realized what I had done.”
Muttering self-mockingly, Havelian fastened the buttons of Fellens’ coat around Leponia to keep her warm.
Then he added his own coat on top of it.
“I was just a scared coward. Accepting you as my sister… as family terrified me.”
…Huh?
As a sister? As family?
Leponia searched through her memories of living with Havelian.
They had studied side by side. When she asked questions, he answered them properly.
…That counted as accepting me as a sister?
For a moment, she seriously wondered whether Havelian simply ignored anyone he didn’t acknowledge.
“I thought doing that would be betraying my lost sister.”
After fastening the last button, Havelian took Leponia’s small hands in his trembling ones.
“If I accepted you like this—if even I accepted you…”
He leaned his forehead lightly against her small body.
“I was afraid no one would remember my lost sister anymore.”
His hollow murmur trembled.
“I thought it would be fine if you were out of sight… but when you actually disappeared from in front of me—”
Havelian swallowed hard.
“I couldn’t breathe.”
The slight weight of his body against hers calmed the chaos that had been raging in Leponia’s heart just moments earlier.
“I don’t know why. I really don’t. I was anxious because I felt like I’d regret it if I lost you like this.”
He spoke rapidly, his voice shaking.
“Just like when I lost my mother without being able to do anything… just like when I lost my sister.”
“……”
“I was scared of losing you too—without being able to protect you.”
Havelian raised his lowered head. Leponia gasped.
“Ah—”
The man whose expression had never once changed no matter what happened was quietly crying.
H-he’s crying?
Without thinking, Leponia reached out her small hand and covered his wet eyes.
She glanced around. Thankfully, no one seemed to be watching.
Havelian Krytan—the prodigy heir raised hearing nothing but praise, now an instructor at the military academy—shouldn’t have this side of him seen by others.
“…I’m sorry.”
The small hand covering his eyes quickly grew damp.
“You can curse me. You can hit me.”
That wasn’t really something you should say to a five-year-old.
“You can hate me. That’s fine. But Leponia, let me keep apologizing to you. That’s enough for me. I was wrong.”
“……”
“I know I should let you go now. I know I’ll have to stop someday. I—”
“Teacher.”
Leponia cut him off with a small voice.
“You don’t have to stop.”
She whispered softly.
“This isn’t an exam problem. You don’t have to cut it off so cleanly. Come see me until you won’t regret it anymore. That way, you won’t have lingering regrets later.”
“……”
“And also…”
Leponia trailed off and cleared her throat softly. Lowering the hand that covered his eyes, she lightly patted his disheveled platinum-blond hair.
“I’m right here.”
Her reflection was visible in his moist, reddened eyes.
“I’m not lost. You came to get me.”
Leponia understood Havelian. She always had.
His suspicion. His wariness. His constant pushing her away.
Of course, I didn’t expect him to dump me at an orphanage.
She had been furious when he abandoned her there—but as time passed, she came to understand.
To Havelian, Leponia was a usurper who had taken everything that belonged to his missing sister. Not accepting her easily meant he truly loved his lost sister and still believed she might be alive somewhere.
That’s why—
When Leponia would eventually be disowned and leave this place,
She believed Havelian would remember the space she had filled for a long time—just like now.
And so, she understood all of his actions.
Understanding didn’t mean trusting him, of course.
“Leponia.”
Tears dripping down, Havelian tightly grasped her small hand.
“Let’s be siblings. Older brother and younger sister.”
“……”
“I want you to be my sister… no, I want to be your brother. I don’t know how to explain it beyond that. You may never forgive me… but I swear, never—never again will I let something like this happen.”
He hugged Leponia tightly, patting her back.
“I’ll protect you. Please—just give me one chance.”
The Leponia he had once abandoned was gathered back into his arms.
Held there, Leponia hugged him back and nodded.
“…Okay.”
Of course, abandoning someone once makes it easier to do it again—but for now, something like this wouldn’t happen again.
Her expression didn’t change much.
I’m tired.
It was over now, right? Leponia closed her eyes.
* * *
The moment Leponia’s body went limp like a shed husk—
Havelian shouted in shock, as though the world had collapsed.
Only after the duke approached and told him she was merely asleep did he finally calm down.
Leponia slept in Havelian’s arms as the Krytan family’s knights arrived.
The moment the duke received the threatening letter claiming Leponia had been taken, he mobilized the knights without even confirming its authenticity.
Losing something once was enough. He had no intention of repeating the same mistake twice.
“Hand the children over to the orphanage Havelian mentioned. Tell them I’ll visit personally to confirm everything.”
“Yes, Your Grace.”
“If they say they can’t accept so many children at once, tell them I’ll make a donation. And make sure they know the donor will be the young lady.”
“Yes.”
Some of the Krytan knights escorted the children from the orphanage back to the capital by carriage and horseback.
After finishing his tasks, Fellens quietly approached Havelian.
“If Ponya’s asleep, hand her over. I’ll carry her.”
“She’ll wake up if I hand her to you. There’s no need.”
“You’re not close with Ponya yet anyway. Did you apologize properly? I don’t even need to see it. Good little Ponya probably forgave you.”
Havelian’s face tightened slightly.
“I asked her to be siblings. She nodded. And as for the apology… I did apologize, but I plan to keep asking for forgiveness. I never thought I’d be forgiven all at once.”
Fellens let out a hollow laugh.
“Siblings? Hah. Brother—have you ever heard Ponya call you ‘oppa’?”
Havelian flinched. He had heard it—once. Right before putting her on the carriage to abandon her.
“I hear it every day.”
“If I’d arrived at the mansion before you, I’d be closer to her than you are now.”
“Then you should’ve come sooner.”
At Fellens’ casual words, Havelian fell silent and lowered his gaze.
“…You’re right.”
What had he been so afraid of all this time?
Havelian looked at Duke Krytan, who was inside the ruined orphanage collecting ledgers and adoption documents.
It was clear he intended to punish the director properly—socially as well.
“Fellens.”
Fellens turned at Havelian’s call.
“I’ve never felt this way about any child. It feels like when I first awakened my aura. Every sense is screaming at me not to let go.”
Fellens looked calmly at Havelian—no, at Leponia sleeping in his arms.
“It doesn’t feel like it’s just because she resembles Mother. Others claimed to be the young lady and resembled her too, but I never felt this way. This fear of losing her… do you feel it too?”
“…That feeling you’re describing.”
“……”
“That strange sensation you can’t put into words. The one screaming that you have to hold on.”
Fellens clenched his fist.
“My father felt it too. So did I.”
Havelian swallowed.
“If the two of us felt it, it could be coincidence. But if even Father did too… is it really coincidence?”
Five years old. An age that could never belong to the lost sister.
And yet—three Aura Masters feeling the same inexplicable pull.
Havelian tightened his hold around Leponia.
