Chapter 21
The wooden horse, drained of its light, dropped to the ground with a dull thud. Still bound to it, Leponia plummeted with it into the abyss.
She struggled desperately to escape, but there was no way out. The darkness pressing down from above felt like the pope’s massive palm sealing her fate.
She never should have sunk to this place in the first place.
No matter how desperately she’d wanted to escape, no matter how much she’d wanted to live, this was the one place she should never, ever have fallen into.
—Do you think anyone out there wants you to stay alive?
From the very bottom of that darkness, the hands of dead children reached up and dragged Leponia down.
—This is where you belong anyway.
Whispering endlessly, cursing her as if reminding her not to forget.
—What are you going to do once you finish the mission and leave?
Once she finished the mission and left that place, she wanted to go somewhere no one would look for her and live like everyone else, normally.
Not because she was ordered to, but because she wanted to—things she had never once been able to enjoy.
—Do you really think you could ever be happy?
Rustle.
Leponia slowly opened her eyes at the gentle hand brushing her forehead. Unlike the dream of falling into the abyss, she was still in the bedroom of the Kraytan mansion.
Was that fortunate, or unfortunate?
Staring blankly up at the chandelier, she felt a breeze brush her skin. Leponia subtly turned her head.
“…You.”
Her eyes widened. Right beside the bed stood the boy from before—
The boy who said he was alive.
The terrace window was open; he must have come through it.
How did I not sense someone this close…?
Looking down at her indifferently, the boy reached out and brushed aside the hair stuck to her forehead.
It was the same touch that woke her from her nightmare.
Those golden eyes looking down at her, so casually, seemed to hold a brilliant light within them.
“…Were you the one who reported I was home alone?” she whispered softly, afraid someone else might overhear. The boy’s hand froze mid-motion.
I knew it.
From that tiny hesitation, Leponia was certain. She tried to sit up, but her cursed five-year-old body simply wouldn’t cooperate.
Frowning, she reached out with difficulty and grabbed his sleeve.
She had too many questions.
Whether he had switched the potion in the cabin—if he did, then why. What he meant by what he said last time. If he intended to kill her, why hadn’t he. Why he was watching her. Who he even was.
So many questions that she didn’t even know where to start.
She had lived her whole life doing only what others ordered and had never questioned anything—it was natural she didn’t know how.
“You—”
The boy’s eyes met hers, as if saying All right, I’ll answer at least one.
Of all the countless questions rising in her mind, the one Leponia ended up asking first was…
“…What’s your name?”
A completely useless question. Judging from his startled expression and widened eyes, he hadn’t expected that.
He didn’t make a sound, but the way his eyes curved gently made her feel strangely warm.
“Ludeum.”
The boy answered softly. She hadn’t expected he would actually tell her.
Leponia blinked, rolling the name on her tongue.
Ludeum.
It was unfamiliar—she’d never heard it before.
“Then, Ludeum, you…” she started.
“I don’t know what I should do with you, Leponia.”
Ludeum murmured calmly, his quiet voice making her unconsciously hold her breath.
He knows my name…
Well, if he could sneak in and out of her bedroom like this, of course he’d know her name.
“There was a fire last time, wasn’t there.”
“Huh?”
“And this time, you fell into the lake.”
How did he know everything that had happened?
“Maybe everything happening to you is… my fault.”
“…?”
Leponia tilted her head at Ludeum’s serious tone.
“I—”
“Aren’t you… a bit full of yourself?”
“What?”
“Do you… happen to think you’re the protagonist of everything that happens in the world?”
She asked sincerely, almost worried. Ludeum furrowed his brows in disbelief.
Oh. At that age, he might actually think he’s the center of the world…
Feeling like she had just crushed a child’s dreams, Leponia hurriedly tried to fix it.
“No, wait, I mean—it could be true! You could be the protagonist! Yes. Right.”
“…It’s not like that. Stop.”
Ludeum sighed and gently stroked her hair.
Both the duke and Phelens patted her head sometimes, but for some reason, it felt completely different coming from him.
“You’ll be alright.”
“Huh?”
“Because I’ll help you from now on.”
What was he even talking about? Do children always say incomprehensible things so suddenly?
“There’s a lot I can do now.”
“I don’t understand a single word. Are you going to explain, or just keep saying weird stuff?”
Ludeum only chuckled softly and kept patting her head.
This kid is treating me like I’m younger than him…
Strangely, though, she didn’t dislike it. Why?
“Your nightmare’s gone now, right?”
“Huh?”
Ludeum withdrew his hand. Leponia instinctively sensed that he was about to leave.
“Wait!”
She grabbed his sleeve desperately. Ludeum looked down at her in surprise.
She still had so many things to ask.
“…Will you… come again?”
Ludeum slowly took her hand, gently released his sleeve from her grip, and tucked her hand back under the blanket.
“We’ll meet soon.”
“Soon?”
“That time… you come. Leponia.”
He let out a faint exhale of laughter.
“So stay alive. No matter what.”
Last time he’d said I’m glad you lived. This time, it was live.
“What does that—”
Before she could finish, Ludeum turned away, her hand falling from his grasp.
“Wait! How do I come? Where do I—”
She called out, but he didn’t stop. He headed for the open terrace window and, just like before, leapt onto a silver wolf and soared away.
Staring at his retreating back, Leponia repeated his name in her mind.
Ludeum. Ludeum.
He definitely doesn’t mean to kill me…
Then who was he? Someone who seemed to know her, yet didn’t.
Why did he keep coming to check on her and telling her to live?
He doesn’t seem like a bad kid…
To make sure she wouldn’t forget, Leponia whispered his name repeatedly in her mind.
If he could have come openly, he wouldn’t be sneaking through the terrace window—he would have come in broad daylight.
It was probably best not to tell the duke or Phelens about Ludeum.
Live…?
It was the first time in her life she’d ever heard those words.
Leponia let out a faint, incredulous smile. Oddly, the tension drained out of her, and sleep washed over her.
She felt like she wouldn’t have nightmares tonight.
* * *
When she opened her eyes again, it was morning. Leponia groggily looked around. The first thing she saw was the Duke of Kraytan, sitting next to the bed with his upper body slumped forward.
“…Duke?”
She expected Buddy and Becky to be there, like during the fire incident. Seeing the duke instead startled her.
He lifted his head at her voice.
“Ponya.”
A cracked sound escaped him, like something inside him breaking. Since she had slept deeply, her body now carried strength again, unlike the night before.
Leponia slowly sat up. In the corner lay the wooden horse, soaked—likely pulled from the lake.
Maybe he was angry.
She tried to gauge the duke’s mood. It was like the fire incident all over again—but this time, there was no culprit.
Then, he could at least vent his anger on the ones who tried to kill her. But now, no one had tried to kill her.
The duke was clearly angry because the “fake daughter” he’d created to fill the void of his dead child had nearly died.
Which meant there was only one person he could take it out on now.
“…I’m sorry.”
Leponia bowed her head respectfully. The duke’s face twisted painfully.
She glanced down at her body. Should she offer her hand, so he could hit the back of it? Or roll up her pant leg for a cane? …Or maybe turn around for him to strike her back?
Anywhere would hurt less than that huge hand hitting her face.
After much consideration, Leponia planted her hands on the table and turned her back.
“What are you doing.”
His voice was low, jaw clenched.
Since she was technically a noble child, he probably wouldn’t like leaving marks on her hands or legs, so she chose her back.
“I figured it’d be better if you hit my back. Clothes will cover it, so no one will notice.”
“What?”
“…Is this not right? Should I offer somewhere else?”
Had she chosen wrong? Leponia glanced back nervously.
“Leponia.”
He gritted his teeth as he spoke—calling her Leponia, not Ponya.
She flinched. The nickname Ponya had always felt awkward, yet suddenly she missed it.
“Come here.”
He spoke through what sounded like barely controlled restraint. Leponia hesitated, then stepped toward him.
“You think you should be hit?”
Why was he even asking? Leponia nodded.
“Why?”
“Because I made you angry.”
“Do I look angry?”
She lifted her eyes slightly. His face was terrifying.
“…Mm-hm.”
“If I’m angry, why does that mean you should be hit?”
“Because I made you angry.”
“What exactly did you do wrong?”
He kept questioning her like he was cornering her. She wanted to tell him Just hit me already, but his face was too scary, so she answered as best she could.
“I dropped the gift you gave me… and I wasn’t careful.”
“I was the one who gave you that horse. I should’ve added more safety charms, but I didn’t. How is that your fault, Leponia?”
…Wait, was it?
“Tell me something else you think you did wrong.”
“Um… I fell into the water…”
“I gave you the horse. You fell because of the horse. That’s also my fault.”
Leponia bit her lip.
Then what did I do wrong?
She wracked her brain. The duke must be angry because she had messed up somehow.
That was always how it was in the orphanage, in the poorhouse, and in the place the pope gave her.
But every time she tried to name something she did wrong, the duke claimed responsibility instead.
Then what had she done wrong?
She fidgeted with her fingers.
“…Ha. Ponya.”
Hearing him use that nickname again made her feel an unexpected surge of relief. For some reason, she almost cried. She’d forgotten these emotions for so long that she didn’t even know what she was feeling.
She clasped her hands tightly, holding it in.
“Whatever you did wrong, it is never a reason for you to be hit. No one has the right to lay a hand on you. Not even me.”
She didn’t know how to respond. It was the first time she’d heard anything like that—she had no idea what she was supposed to say.
“If anyone tries to hit you, don’t stand there like you did before. Hit them first. I don’t care who they are—I’ll deal with the consequences.”
“….”
“And if you can’t… come to me.”
Leponia looked up at him.
“I’ll hit them twice as hard. So don’t ever stand there and take it again.”
“But… I still… did something wrong—”
“You did nothing wrong.”
