Episode 11
The Villainess’s Theory of Happiness
Tap, tap!
Even the sound of someone knocking on the door was cute. I gestured for them to come in, and Rona opened the door. Jasmine peeked her head around and ran toward me.
“Your Highness!”
She called me in her adorable little voice. Behind her, Ren appeared. Like the good sisters they were, they held hands and ran toward me.
Jasmine and Ren kissed my forehead before greeting me.
“Good morning.”
“Good morning, Your Highness.”
After greeting me, the two children also acknowledged the Children standing behind me before settling down. Jasmine sat on my lap, while Ren took the seat beside me.
As I poured tea for the children, I watched the Children standing respectfully.
The test to choose my guardian finally began three days after that incident that had thrown the Knights’ Order into chaos.
Honestly, I hadn’t expected the Children to apply.
He had said himself that such positions didn’t interest him, and those noblemen who had tormented him had already been punished.
But to my surprise, he applied for the position and passed with ease.
I didn’t know why—but from my perspective, it was hardly a bad thing.
When our eyes met, I felt caught staring. Feeling a little embarrassed, I cut a piece of cake and offered it to him.
He accepted it with a bright smile.
How adorable.
To me, both the Children and the kids all looked young—though in his case, he could probably swing his hand at my neck when grown.
I smiled as I watched him eat the cake, my eyes sparkling.
My neck seems safe, then.
I sipped my tea and took a bite of a cookie. The sweet taste spread through my mouth.
Having eliminated all threats in my way, I was now enjoying life in the Duke’s household. The children were endlessly cute, and the Duke’s house offered every luxury. Fine clothing, exquisite meals, massages, and skincare treatments—all a daily routine of opulence. And since I wasn’t yet engaged, I didn’t have to do any work.
This is what a rich idle person must feel like.
For the next three years, I could simply enjoy life, then get engaged later and become the children’s tutor.
Just thinking about them calling me “teacher” made me smile in advance.
Hehe…
I had just cut a forkful of cake when the door suddenly swung open. Lemon and Green dashed into my room, each carrying a wrapped box. Behind them, four maids followed, looking unsure of what to do.
The twins ran to me as soon as our eyes met and immediately thrust the boxes toward me without letting me speak.
On the top of the boxes, “Chocolate” was written.
“Your Highness! Do you want to eat this?”
“Good day, Your Highness.”
I nodded politely—good day, yes, but what is all this?
Flustered by the twins’ sudden appearance, I patted their heads to calm myself and said:
“Hello, kids.”
It was clear the children wanted to feed me the chocolate. Their sparkling eyes and expectant expressions made it impossible to refuse.
Just as I was about to open the box, Jasmine jumped up and grabbed Lemon’s dress.
“Me too!”
Seeing Jasmine’s bright, determined eyes, Lemon finally noticed the guest already in my room. Green, already sitting beside Ren, was finishing the last pudding, making Lemon pout in frustration.
She handed the chocolate box to Jasmine, then angrily stomped over to Green and snatched the pudding right from his fork.
“Yum!”
Green watched his pudding disappear into Lemon’s mouth and cried in despair:
“My pudding!”
“Tsk, that’s unfair.”
The twins began squabbling. Ren sipped her tea quietly, and Jasmine watched their argument while nibbling her chocolate.
Chaos.
The children were always cute, but when they got noisy like this, it was enough to drive one mad. Even the Children seemed to feel it, subtly covering their ears.
The squabble only ended after a maid brought another cake and chair for Lemon. Lemon and Green finally sat down and started eating properly. Peaceful tea time resumed.
I picked up the untouched piece of cake and returned to my own treat. At that moment, a knock sounded, and the door opened to reveal Toma.
“Your Highness.”
…My cake.
I set my fork down, unable to speak with my mouth full, and looked at him. He extended a small box toward me. When I tilted my head, he spoke in frustration:
“It’s a gift.”
I let out a small exclamation and carefully accepted the light box.
“Thank you.”
I placed it on the vanity beside me—opening it here would be impolite.
Toma seemed to have finished his business and tried to leave, but the twins held onto him.
“Where are you going? Come play with us!”
“Sit, big brother.”
Ren smiled faintly, and Jasmine silently tugged at Toma’s arm, looking at him as if to say, Don’t go.
So Toma joined us naturally, and the tea party resumed. The children chatted while sipping tea, and I smiled as I watched them.
Honestly, it was a little noisy, but everything about them was cute.
Tap, tap.
Another knock sounded. I gestured for them to enter. Lena opened the door, and Crimson stepped inside.
As he opened his mouth to greet me, Lemon shouted:
“My cookie!!!!”
I turned toward the kids and saw Green puffing his cheeks as he chewed a cookie, reigniting their argument.
The problem was that even usually calm Toma and Ren took sides in the fight.
“Lemon, that’s not okay. Apologize.”
“Green, this time you were wrong. Apologize to Lemon.”
The twins puffed their cheeks in response. The argument escalated from small voices to loud, and I realized speaking would be futile. I finally spoke:
“Kids, quiet… please.”
But the children ignored me. I glanced at Crimson, who sighed as if used to this, staring blankly at them.
Since I was the only one who could control the kids, I decided to use my favorite technique from kindergarten.
“Let’s become hermit crabs! Hermit crabs, shoo!”
Instantly, the children quieted down. Normally, this involved ducking under a desk, but the idea got through well enough.
Watching the calm children, I smiled. Though they didn’t fully understand, they got the gist and sat quietly, looking at me.
“From now on, when I say ‘Let’s become hermit crabs,’ you shout ‘Shoo!’ and stay quiet, okay?”
The children nodded silently, which was too cute—I couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Shall we try? Let’s become hermit crabs. Hermit crabs, shoo!”
“Shoo!”
All the children shouted in unison—except Toma. He muttered softly after Jasmine tugged his sleeve:
“…Shoo…”
His quiet, flushed face made the other children laugh, excluding Jasmine. I patted Toma’s head for being so cute and continued:
“Good job. When I say ‘Hermit crabs, done!’ then you can talk again, understood?”
The children nodded again.
“Hermit crabs, done!”
Immediately, they opened their mouths, laughed, and looked at each other. My heart was thoroughly stolen.
The maids and Crimson watched me with wide eyes, clearly amazed at how easily I had calmed the children. For them, it must have been as difficult as controlling a certain cartoon character.
I looked at Green and Lemon, still glaring at each other, and said:
“Now, hold hands and make up.”
It wasn’t the ideal method, but since they had each taken a snack from the other, both were at fault.
Green was the first to soften, offering his hand.
“I’m sorry.”
“…I’m sorry too.”
They clasped hands and smiled brightly. The children resumed chatting, now much quieter. I turned to Crimson.
“Impressive.”
I smiled awkwardly. Compared to a kindergarten class of twenty children, calming five was trivial.
“It’s nothing. But, what brings you here?”
Crimson’s face shifted to realization.
“The Duke has announced he will hold a banquet this weekend.”
…Ugh, I don’t want to go.
I almost let my expression slip but quickly replaced it with a polite smile.
“Please tell the Duke I’ll attend.”
It was obvious why the Duke was holding the banquet—likely to formally introduce me to the other nobles.
Once Crimson left, I let go of my forced smile.
So troublesome…
I brushed my hair back impatiently, already anticipating a very tiring day.
