Chapter 8
No matter how kind he was, no matter how brightly he smiled in front of her, Grace felt anxious that if she stayed in this house, she might end up dying someday.
She examined her body inch by inch, wondering if she had really fallen ill, but aside from having gained some weight, Grace’s body was healthy.
With a deep sigh, Grace stepped out into the garden.
“Huh?”
Benjamin was nowhere to be seen today.
Before she knew it, Grace found herself scanning her surroundings.
“Well, he doesn’t have to come out every day. I said it was just a coincidence until now.”
Besides, she had come out later than usual today.
As she followed one thought after another, Grace realized she sounded like she was making excuses just to avoid being disappointed.
In the end, as Grace began walking alone, something strange caught her eye.
“What is this?”
In front of the garden bushes, small signs had been planted here and there.
“……”
Every single one had the name of a flower written on it.
A strange, ticklish sensation spread across Grace’s chest.
As she looked down at the signs, it was only natural that she recalled her conversation with Benjamin.
“I see. I hadn’t considered that issue.”
“…No way.”
It hadn’t been long since he’d said that.
Thinking it might be possible, Grace asked the maid standing nearby.
“Were these signs put up by the gardener this time?”
As if she had been waiting for the question, the maid answered promptly.
“Yes! The master ordered it this time!”
“His Excellency?”
“Yes!”
“Why?”
Was it because she said she didn’t know much?
Her thoughts tangled together and surged chaotically.
“But really, why?”
She knew that Benjamin was, at the very least, a kind person.
But this felt far removed from ordinary kindness.
Seeing him catch even an offhand remark and take care of it piece by piece made her heart inevitably stir.
At that moment, a voice whispered inside Grace’s head.
<Wake up.>
<What kind of delusion are you trying to indulge in? How embarrassing.>
As if cold water had been poured over her, Grace flinched, her mind instantly clearing.
The maid who had explained the signs asked,
“Madam, are you feeling chilly?”
“…Mm, I think a little.”
“Then how about going back in early today? You might catch a cold.”
Grace glanced around and nodded.
“I think I should.”
Even when she looked toward the main building of the mansion, there was no sign of Benjamin coming out. For some reason, she felt a little disappointed.
“Have I already gotten used to this?”
As Grace stood gazing toward the mansion for a long time, Sally brought over a warm blanket and draped it over her shoulders.
“I’m worried because you’ve been looking quite thin lately, Madam.”
“Thin….”
Grace touched her cheek.
“Do you have something on your mind? I know it’s not my place to interfere, but…”
Sally spoke with a face full of genuine concern.
“Sally has always been friendly toward Grace.”
Before Grace had possessed this body, Sally had been the maid who spoke to her most warmly. The other maids were kind as well, but there was always a sense of distance.
Because of that, Grace couldn’t help but feel fond of Sally.
Grace smiled.
“It’s nothing. I think I just suddenly started losing weight.”
“…Has someone perhaps said something unkind to you, Madam?”
“Hm?”
Someone saying something unkind? Grace blinked, her eyes wide.
“Unkind things are being said by most of the empire’s citizens… and if I don’t get divorced, I’ll be found as a corpse in the duke’s household….”
She thought of words she couldn’t possibly say out loud.
Unaware of Grace’s thoughts, Sally continued worrying.
“You haven’t even been going to the study lately, so I wondered if something had happened.”
“The study?”
Grace thought, What does she mean? Then it dawned on her that the original Grace used to hole herself up in the study at the slightest excuse.
“Oh, right.”
At first, she’d been busy adjusting to this body; after that, she’d been preoccupied with figuring out how to survive. She’d completely forgotten.
“Come to think of it, I used to read books endlessly too.”
Grace recalled her life before possessing this body.
Back then, her health had been poor, and she was constantly in and out of the hospital.
Because of that, she was always close to books. She couldn’t run around or even go outside.
“Lately, I just prefer moving around like this.”
“……”
“If I stay cooped up in my room, I get depressed.”
At Grace’s words, Sally’s expression grew even more gloomy, likely because Grace had lived an almost reclusive life until now.
But what Grace was thinking of was her life before possession.
That life wasn’t very different from Grace’s current one.
Her family was wealthy, but they neglected her. When she fell ill and was hospitalized, they barely showed their faces, only sending a few books at a time.
*The Saintess’s Wish.*
That book had been tucked in among the ones she received one day. It was quite different from the usual books her family sent.
Grace had always liked romance fantasy, but her family dismissed such novels as worthless trash and strongly disliked her reading them.
So when she received *The Saintess’s Wish*, she found it fascinating and read it over and over.
“What a pointless reminiscence.”
Grace shivered again and clutched the blanket tightly.
“Are you very cold?”
“I guess so. I think I’ll go to the study today, like you suggested. Could you bring some warm tea there?”
“Yes, of course.”
Grace trotted off toward the study.
“Could the diary be in the study?”
Isn’t there a saying that the best place to hide a tree is in the forest? Thinking that the original Grace might have hidden her diary in the study, she headed there without hesitation.
“Maybe it would’ve been easier if I remembered nothing at all….”
If she had forgotten everything, she could’ve pretended to have amnesia. Instead, bits and pieces of common knowledge about this world and Grace’s past actions lingered in her mind.
For example, useless things like “how much Grace’s heart had fluttered when she saw Benjamin at the wedding.”
“Is it this way?”
Arriving at the study door, Grace hesitated briefly before opening it.
The moment she did, her mouth fell open at the sheer scale.
“Th-this is insane.”
The study she remembered wasn’t small. She knew there were many books.
“But this is completely different from my memory.”
Facing the real thing, its overwhelming size left her flustered.
“I really downsized this in my memory.”
The bookshelves were so tall they were divided into levels, with staircases placed here and there.
Books sorted by genre were packed tightly in alphabetical order, immaculate even from a distance.
Despite having never visited since possessing this body, the warm study felt fresh rather than stuffy.
The carpeted floor was spotless, as if it were cleaned daily.
Grace couldn’t hide her amazement as she looked around.
“I love the smell of books.”
The smell of books in the hospital had sometimes felt nauseating, but here it was strangely fragrant.
Without realizing it, Grace smiled brightly.
“This is wonderful.”
So wonderful that, unlike in the annex where negative thoughts and voices overwhelmed her if she let her guard down, she couldn’t hear any of them here.
In the sunniest spot of the study was a wide, plush sofa—the place where Grace always sat to read.
“The windows are well maintained too.”
Grace trotted toward the window beside the sofa.
Looking out, she could see the main building.
The moment she saw the main building where Benjamin stayed, Grace’s mood soured, and she frowned deeply.
“The view’s not very nice.”
Leaving that brief comment, she grabbed a random book and leaned back on the sofa.
A little later, Sally brought in the tea. Small white flowers floated gently on the surface.
“How cute.”
“It’s the latest trend.”
“The tea?”
“Yes. More precisely, at dessert shops. It’s hard to do this properly at home—the process of brewing tea correctly is quite complicated.”
Seeing Grace’s positive reaction, Sally beamed.
“I hear desserts with flowers in them are popular too. Should we bring those in as well?”
“No.”
“……”
“Desserts make you gain weight.”
At Grace’s firm refusal, Sally’s expression darkened. But Grace, busy admiring the flowers in her teacup, didn’t notice.
“Then you may go. I think I’ll stay here until mealtime.”
“Yes. Enjoy your reading.”
Gathering her somber expression, Sally calmly left the study.
After sending her off, Grace glanced at the table of contents of the book—then snapped it shut.
“Now’s not the time for this.”
Grace lifted her head.
Her desk came into view.
“The diary.”
She needed to find the diary.
She didn’t remember where it was hidden.
“But my body remembers.”
As soon as Grace entered the study, her body had naturally wanted to move toward three places.
First, the window; second, the sofa she was sitting on now; and finally, the desk.
Grace walked straight to the desk.
“Not here.”
The first drawer was filled with writing tools, paper, and bookmarks.
“Not here either.”
The second drawer held sealing wax and candles. The third contained envelopes, stationery, and several exchanged letters.
“Why isn’t it here?”
Thinking, Was I wrong?, Grace scrunched up her face and slammed her hand down on the desk with a bang. She was frustrated by all the futile searching.
