To the Villain I Loved
Chapter 1
Crash!
The early evening dinner table fell into a suffocating silence.
With the sound of shattering porcelain, the Princess collapsed heavily onto the floor.
Her eyes rolled back as if she had lost consciousness, their focus fading. Soon her entire body began trembling violently, shaking like the leaves of an aspen in the wind.
Watching the spectacle, Lindenel furrowed his brow slightly.
“What are you trying to pull this time?”
The Princess—whose mind was far from sound—had begun having another seizure.
It had already been two years since the former Emperor passed away.
Although various circumstances had delayed the formal coronation, leaving the throne vacant for a long time, the true owner of the imperial seat was none other than the woman who had just collapsed.
Yet despite her noble status, none of the attendants rushed to help her up. Instead, they only glanced nervously around.
That was because Duke Haimenwar, seated across from her, had given no orders.
The servants were confused. Should they respond to the Princess who seemed to be staging another dramatic episode, or follow the will of the Duke who despised disturbances?
Even when the Princess’s eyes rolled back completely, Lindenel remained calm. He simply wiped his mouth with a napkin and pushed his meal away.
The Princess still could not regain control of her body.
Here we go again.
Whenever something displeased her or she was in a bad mood, the Princess often pretended to be ill as a way of venting her frustration.
Lindenel assumed today was one of those days.
“I’d usually be willing to indulge you,” he said coldly, “but I’m busy today. That’s enough—get up.”
Unable to bear the Duke’s mockery any longer, the head attendant spoke despite his fear.
“Your Grace… what if Her Highness is truly unwell—”
Lindenel raised a hand, cutting him off.
Then he stared coldly at the Princess lying on the floor.
He had never thought her a foolish woman. Yet recently her behavior had become impossible to understand.
Wasn’t she the one who despised the disgrace of being called insane more than anyone else?
But lately she had been behaving as though her mind had truly deteriorated—almost as if the madness he himself had forced upon her had finally consumed her.
Looking down at her trembling body, Lindenel called her name as if issuing a warning.
“Princess.”
It had been a long time since the Princess last heard an honorific from Lindenel.
Ever since the banner of the House of Haimenwar had been planted beside the imperial throne, she had never once received proper respect from him.
The Princess understood her own position well. Usually when he scolded her like this, she would feel humiliated and end the act.
But today the performance continued unusually long.
Gradually the trembling subsided.
Her rolled-back eyes slowly closed as well.
Just as the attendants—who had been on the verge of dragging her away—were about to breathe a sigh of relief—
“Cough!”
A violent cough burst from the Princess’s lips, followed by a gush of dark blood.
There was far too much of it to dismiss casually.
“Y-Your Highness!”
The suppressed cries finally erupted.
One maid rushed forward and turned the Princess’s head so the blood would not flow back into her airway.
For a moment Lindenel simply stared blankly at the blood pooling on the floor. Only then did he snap back to his senses.
“What…?”
Seeing the Princess stiffen like a corpse after vomiting blood, Lindenel shot to his feet and shouted.
“Head attendant! What are you doing just standing there?!”
“Call the royal physician immediately!”
The attendants, finally realizing something was terribly wrong, began moving in frantic unison.
While they hurried to bring a stretcher and wet cloths, Lindenel supported the Princess’s limp body.
“Princess.”
“….”
Her body felt strangely light in his arms.
He had always thought of her as thin and frail, but today she felt so weightless it made him uneasy.
It felt as though he were holding an empty shell whose substance had vanished.
Hesitating briefly, Lindenel called a name he had buried long ago.
“Astrid.”
It was a name he had repeated countless times in his heart throughout his life.
How deeply he had hated that name.
And how desperately he had longed for it.
Yet the last time he had spoken it aloud was nearly the first year they met.
After so many years of silence, even the pronunciation now felt unfamiliar.
“Wake up.”
Astrid did not respond.
Lindenel stared with unsteady eyes at the blood soaking through the chest of her plain white muslin dress.
Then he lifted her in his arms and strode out of the dining hall.
The head attendant gasped in alarm and hurried after him.
“Your Grace! If you carry Her Highness like that, the Council of Nobles will surely—”
“Be quiet.”
The dark, chilling tone in Lindenel’s voice silenced him instantly.
“I’m taking the Princess to her chamber. Bring every physician in the castle.”
“Y-Yes, Your Grace.”
The head attendant turned to leave but suddenly stopped, remembering something.
“And summon Caleb.”
“Yes!”
Even amid the chaos, the head attendant looked slightly relieved.
Pulling Secretary Caleb away from the busy succession preparations meant only one thing: the Duke intended to do everything possible to save the Princess.
The elderly attendant—who had never once run even if the imperial palace were on fire—now sprinted with all his strength, repeating desperately in his mind:
Please live, Your Highness. No matter how miserable this world may be, it is still better than death.
But the pale hand hanging limply from beyond the Duke’s broad back showed not the slightest movement, as if unaware of the desperate hearts around her.
* * *
Late at night, when everyone in the imperial palace held their breath in silence.
The central courtyard was so quiet that not even the bark of a dog could be heard.
That was because Lindenel had killed them all.
Over the past few days, anyone who had whispered about the life or death of Princess Astrid—regardless of rank—had lost their heads to Lindenel, who needed somewhere to vent his fury.
Within that icy stillness, Astrid slowly opened her eyes.
Her bloodless complexion, cracked lips, and the dark red blotches spreading from her body to her neck—left by the poison—were grim proof that her life would not last much longer.
Yet her eyes burned brightly, as if igniting the final flame of her existence.
Lindenel had taken everything from her.
Even her father’s death had been shrouded in unresolved suspicion.
Still, the terrible emotion she could never cast away now felt like a curse.
At first, she had simply wondered where his gaze was directed.
A man whose heart was always far away, even when standing beside her.
Born as the Princess of an empire and never lacking attention, Lindenel had been a curiosity to her.
“Aren’t you curious about me, Your Grace? Because I’m curious about you. Where are you looking? Who are you thinking about…?”
When she had spoken those words honestly, she had been an innocent girl who feared nothing in the world.
She believed that if she tried hard enough—if she embraced him with the love overflowing from her heart—it would return to her someday.
Perhaps not exactly the same love, but something close.
It had been a naïve, optimistic wish.
Astrid stepped down from the bed barefoot.
Her toes were stiff and unmoving, as if the paralysis had not yet faded, and she could feel nothing beneath her feet.
Still, she had to go.
There was something she wanted to say to Lindenel one last time.
Leaning against the wall, she staggered forward.
At any moment she felt she might faint again, but she forced herself onward through sheer willpower.
Step by step.
She could clearly feel that her body had reached the very end of its lifespan.
As she walked, Astrid recalled what had happened before she collapsed.
* * *
When the soup containing poison had been served to her—on top of the disgraceful title of “the Mad Princess”—cold sweat ran down her back and her lips dried instantly.
Astrid thought:
Is Valdemar truly trying to make me drink this?
“I’m sorry, Your Highness.”
He had once been her late father’s most loyal retainer.
But after the Emperor died and the empire fell into the hands of Duke Haimenwar, his once warm and upright personality changed completely.
He had tried everything to free Astrid from Lindenel’s grasp, willing to sacrifice anything.
But when all methods failed, he spoke those final words during their last meeting before disappearing.
“I will free you from that place.”
