[CHAPTER 86]
After hearing Dianu’s declaration, Rision fell silent.
The suffocating stillness made her want to run away.
But the words she had painfully forced out could not be allowed to fade into nothing, and Dianu endured with that single thought alone.
Rision finally opened his mouth when even the birds that had filled the garden with chirping had grown quiet.
“If you do not accept my proposal, what do you plan to do going forward?”
It was not a reproachful tone.
His voice was gentle, his expression calm.
It was far too composed for the reaction of a gentleman rejected before he had even properly proposed to his lover.
She had not expected him to lash out in anger or openly grieve, but this response was beyond her expectations.
Suppressing her confusion, Dianu answered as calmly as she could.
“What would I do?
I would live as I do now.”
“As you do now?”
“Yes.
As I do now.”
“Until when?”
At that question, she had no choice but to fall silent.
Rision pressed on in an utterly detached and rational voice.
“Tell me, Dianu.
How long can Dianu Ortensa continue to live ‘as she does now’?”
“……”
“Did you not say it yourself,
that ‘now’ Dianu Ortensa is someone whom others may mock and insult at will?”
Having one’s own words return as arrows was an unpleasant experience for anyone.
Dianu felt her face grow hot.
“I meant that it would be resolved if our relationship were made public.”
“There is no way to make our relationship public without an engagement.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have no intention of placing that dishonor upon you.”
“I was already prepared for that.”
“Prepared?
To be treated as a courtesan?”
At that word, even Dianu faltered.
A courtesan.
Unmarried women who lived comfortably under the patronage of wealthy gentlemen.
They enjoyed refined and luxurious lives, yet could never step forward proudly as members of high society.
The former emperor’s openly acknowledged mistresses had been able to move freely within society only because they were, at least in name, noble ladies.
Courtesans, on the other hand, might be envied or resented for their beauty and wealth, but they were never invited to respectable gatherings.
Their very existence was considered immoral.
For Dianu, who had lived as a modest and exemplary young lady despite her poverty, it was a life she had never even imagined.
At least, not before meeting Rision.
She forced together a rebuttal, but her voice lacked strength.
“It’s different from being a courtesan.
I would only remain by Your Majesty’s side.”
“Is that how you would explain yourself to those who belittle you?”
Dianu closed her mouth.
She knew better than anyone that she could not.
As Dianu stood with her head lowered in silence, Rision quietly called her name.
“Dianu.”
“……”
“Dianu.
Look at me.”
She did not want to show him this face.
But before she could refuse, a hand reached out, grasped her chin, and lifted her head.
When she reluctantly met his gaze, a faint smile rested on Rision’s face.
“I am a cautious man.”
“……”
“And I have decided to spend my entire life with you.”
Her heart dropped.
He had not said that he wanted to spend his life with her.
He said he had decided.
It was the decision of Rision the man, and of Rision the Emperor.
A decision made after the consideration such words demanded.
And yet, he was saying it.
That he would make her his Empress.
Under the overwhelming weight of that devotion and certainty, it felt as though her throat were being crushed.
Holding Dianu’s unusually pale cheeks in his hands, Rision leaned down.
Forehead pressed against hers, he whispered.
“Do you want to be with me?”
“……”
“Tell me.
Do you want to be with me?”
How could she lie to that question, to that face?
Biting her lip, Dianu nodded.
At least in that, there was not a shred of falsehood.
Rision kissed her forehead, the corner of her eye, and her cheek in turn.
The kisses were as light as a bird’s footsteps.
Dianu closed her eyes tightly.
If she kept looking at his face, she felt she would agree to anything he said without hesitation.
“All the reasons you cannot accept my proposal are trivial matters to me.
Status and family background pose no problem.
I am someone who can do a great many things.”
An unseen gaze pricked at Dianu like thorns.
“…But you already know that, don’t you?”
Dianu weakly shook her head.
It was a meaningless act of resistance.
The unspoken truth was something Elpenlira clearly understood.
Seeing her nod in agreement, Dianu felt a sense of betrayal she could not explain.
If you knew, you could have warned me in advance.
She knew it was an unreasonable accusation.
And yet, she was angry.
Not at Elpenlira, but at this entire situation.
…Perhaps the one she resented most was herself.
Unable to proudly accept the proposal of the man she loved.
And unable to trust, without reservation, a man who claimed even that was fine.
“Please, Lady Elpenlira, stop him.”
“Me?
Stop whom?”
“His Majesty.
He doesn’t seem to be thinking logically right now.
Someone around him has to stop this.”
Elpenlira’s face twisted.
“Teacher.
Aren’t you happy to be proposed to by my brother?”
“I haven’t been proposed to!”
Not yet.
Not yet, so it could still be undone.
Dianu tightly clasped Elpenlira’s hand and spoke in a half-pleading voice.
“You understand, Lady Elpenlira.
I’m a tutor.
How could I possibly, how could I dare…”
Being a lover was acceptable.
The world would condemn Dianu, but she could endure that.
But being Empress was not.
She would become a stain Rision could never erase.
If he forced an insignificant woman onto the throne and bore the consequences, would he truly be able to keep loving her?
If he came to regret ruining his reign by installing an unworthy Empress, and in doing so lost even his affection for her…
The rest of her life would be hell.
She could not bear it, even in imagination.
“I can’t destroy His Majesty’s reputation,
his reign,
his legacy.
Please, help me.”
As Dianu rambled desperately, Elpenlira, who had been watching with a stiff expression, suddenly raised one hand.
Dianu instinctively fell silent.
“Teacher.
My brother is the kind of ruler who appears once in a thousand years, if that.
Marrying you will not ruin his reputation.”
“Precisely because he’s a ruler like that,
he must not leave such a stain!”
“Then should my brother live his entire life alone and brilliant,
unable even to marry the person he loves?”
Elpenlira looked angry as she sprang to her feet.
“If he can’t even love,
what use are reputation and legacy?”
A mind consumed by fear and confusion could not think as it normally did.
Dianu knew well that in situations like this, it was better to stay silent.
But she was desperate and more impatient than usual.
The words slipped out before she could stop them.
“You can say that because you’re a princess, Lady Elpenlira!
You can never understand my position!”
