Chapter 22
When Vivian slowly opened her eyes…
“Judging by the grain, this must be ginkgo. Since the color hasn’t changed, it seems it was dried well in the shade.”
She saw Kalts closely examining the bookmark.
“The scent of ginkgo repels insects. Good for preserving books. Quite useful.”
“……”
“You have a good eye for objects.”
Only then did Vivian realize.
That a moment ago, when she thought he had misunderstood her intentions, it was actually just Kalts teasing her.
“I’ll make good use of it.”
And that his praising the item’s merits was, in his clumsy way, his method of giving her a compliment.
Vivian, who had been blinking in confusion with her big round eyes, finally erased her worries and smiled brightly.
“You’re very welcome!”
Then she seized the opening to slip in a question.
“Then, can I come read books with you from now on, Your Grace?”
Caught off guard by the sudden turn of conversation, Kalts raised one eyebrow.
“…How did the topic end up there?”
“My etiquette teacher said, if you look at the books someone reads, you can tell what kind of person they are.”
“You want to know about me? Why?”
“Because I want to become friends with you, Your Grace.”
At Vivian’s reply, Kalts furrowed his brow.
“So the gift really was just a bribe, then.”
Not wanting to prolong unnecessary chatter, he went straight to the point.
“What is it that you desire?”
At his blunt question, Vivian blinked.
“If you honestly tell me what you want, I might grant it.”
Since Vivian’s arrival, the mood in the household had changed.
Not only Rachel, but even the unsettled servants, restless in this unfamiliar town, seemed to have lightened up because of her.
Thinking of the changes the child had brought, he thought: even if her intentions were bold, granting her wish might not be impossible.
After all, whatever she asked for, it couldn’t be anything too difficult from his perspective.
And more than anything, once someone tasted the sweetness of power, they would only become more loyal.
For the one in command, it was never a bad idea to train obedience early.
But…
“I don’t want anything. The only thing I wish for is to become friends with you, Your Grace.”
The child’s mischievous eyes shone with unwavering sincerity.
That only made Kalts more unsettled.
“Why, exactly?”
“Because you seem like a good person.”
Not frightening, but good?
That was an odd word to hear applied to him.
“…And?”
“My philosophy teacher said, ‘When you gain a good friend, it’s like living another life entirely.’”
“……”
“So I want to be friends with you, Your Grace.”
Kalts stifled a laugh.
He had arranged for her lessons to be useful to him, but in the meantime, the girl had already grown sharper.
A duke, becoming friends with a commoner child two generations his junior?
As if she had read the thoughts tumbling through his head, Vivian smiled innocently and declared her ambitions.
“If you become my friend, it’ll be fun! I already have lots of friends your age, Your Grace.”
“Ha.”
She even emphasized that he wouldn’t be her first friend of his age group.
Kalts let out an incredulous chuckle.
This child was far more clever—no, more dangerous—than he had expected.
After that day, whenever Rachel went to her heir’s lessons, Vivian would visit Kalts.
She had worried he might drive her away as a nuisance, but Kalts accepted her visits.
His attitude was dry, but there were small signs that made Vivian think he didn’t entirely dislike her.
For example…
Oh, today it’s apple juice!
Like now, when snacks were prepared at just the time she would come find him.
Vivian took that as a positive sign.
Of course, it was probably the butler who set them out.
But since Kalts never touched the refreshments himself, the fact he hadn’t ordered them removed meant he tacitly allowed them.
“Thank you for the food!”
As Vivian eagerly ate, Kalts looked at her and asked,
“So, what book do you want to discuss today?”
Their conversations usually went that way—Vivian bringing up a book she had read or studied, and Kalts responding.
Could it really be that His Grace has read every book in the ducal library?
At first, Vivian doubted his claim.
But no matter what book she mentioned, he always understood it immediately.
“Today in philosophy class, I read Life Is a Series of Regrets. I want to discuss it with you, Your Grace.”
Kalts gave a dry laugh.
At only nine years old, the books she was reading were rather profound.
Still, he was curious what thoughts a nine-year-old would have about it.
“Have you ever regretted something deeply in your life?”
“Yes. That’s why this book made me think about it all over again.”
“That matter?”
Just then, a small bird sang on a branch outside the window.
Staring at it, Vivian began her story.
“Once, my father brought home a baby bird he found in the forest. It had lost its mother. It was so cute. I took care of it, and when it grew strong, we released it back into the woods…”
Kalts quietly watched her eyes cloud over.
He didn’t need to hear the end to guess what had happened.
“Not long after, I found it dead in front of our house. I think it had been bitten by a snake and fled back to us.”
“You must have regretted letting it go.”
“A lot. I kept thinking, if I hadn’t sent it back to the forest, maybe it would still be alive with me.”
“An act done with good intentions doesn’t always bring good results.”
“……”
“But that wasn’t your fault.”
“……”
“At that time, you didn’t know the future. You simply made the best choice you could.”
“That’s true.”
“And it was also that bird’s choice. In the end, it was the one who left your care and flew away.”
“But… if I hadn’t let it out in the first place, it wouldn’t have flown away, right?”
“If you had caged it, feeding it treats every day, maybe it would have spent its whole life yearning for the outside world, dying with resentment toward you.”
Kalts knew too well that a beloved creature locked away could never be happy—he himself had once raised Isela like that.
He continued.
“If you keep spinning ‘what ifs,’ there will be no end. Just look at what actually happened.”
“What actually happened…”
“The bird was happy during the time it spent with you, and afterward, it enjoyed freedom in the forest. I’m sure of that.”
“……”
“Of course, in its final moment, it might have regretted its choice. But that was its burden, not yours.”
His words might have sounded harsh, but it was his way of offering comfort.
“No matter how sad it is, you must let go of the past that can’t be changed. That bird wouldn’t want you shackled to old regrets.”
Vivian gazed at him intently.
Feeling her eyes on him, Kalts glanced back.
Only then did he realize his words might have sounded too cold and risked hurting her feelings.
But contrary to his expectations, Vivian broke into a big smile.
“Your Grace, you really are a grown-up.”
“…A real grown-up?”
“Yes! I think a real grown-up is someone who knows much more than a child. And you understand my thoughts so well.”
Kalts gave a small chuckle.
But there was bitterness in it.
For despite his polished words, he had never truly felt like an “adult.”
Even at his age, he still made wrong choices, still lived with regrets.
He told her to let go of the past—yet he himself still lingered in his own.
Just then, Vivian looked at him with her bright, earnest eyes and asked,
“Have you ever regretted something too, Your Grace?”
Already caught in his memories, Kalts froze at her question.
“You listened to my story, so I want to listen to yours too.”
