Chapter 20
Inside the carriage returning to the mansion, loaded with gifts.
As Rahel gazed out the window at the passing scenery, lost in thought, she suddenly flinched at the weight pressing against her shoulder.
“Hmmnya…”
It was Vivian’s small head, fast asleep.
The little girl who had eaten desserts so heartily was now smacking her lips even in her dreams, as though she were still tasting something sweet.
Rahel chuckled quietly at the sight, then noticed that even in sleep, Vivian’s hand was still firmly holding her own. She fell silent, simply watching the child.
[I’ll stay by your side, milady.]
It was the first time.
That someone—other than her mother or her nanny—had taken her hand first.
No, to be precise…
It was the first time she hadn’t shaken off someone’s touch. Always fearful her secret might be discovered, she had pushed away every hand that reached for her.
But with Vivian, it was different.
Strangely, she couldn’t bring herself to reject this girl’s touch.
In that moment, those honey-colored eyes had sparkled so brilliantly that Rahel had simply forgotten to pull away.
The little hand clasped with hers was soft and warm. She didn’t want to let go, not even for a moment.
Yet other people’s touch still scared her—still repulsed her.
Only Vivian was special.
Because this child was on her side.
No matter how frightening things became, Vivian wouldn’t abandon her and run.
Or so she had thought…
[Then you like him too?]
[Of course. Peter’s my friend.]
Recalling the scene earlier at the general store—Vivian with Peter—Rahel’s eyes grew cold.
“To Vivian, I’m not special.”
Among countless friends, she was just one.
If there was anything that set her apart from the rest, it was her unreachable status. Nothing more.
But that wasn’t uniqueness. It was a barrier.
Yes, she had allowed Vivian inside that barrier… but it wasn’t enough.
“I don’t want to be just anyone’s friend.”
She didn’t want to be liked the same way Vivian liked other children.
She wanted Vivian to look only at her. To hold only her hand.
“No one else. Just me.”
Like Rahel was unique to Vivian… she wanted to be unique in return.
As she pondered how to make herself someone special to Vivian, Rahel remembered something the girl had once said—
[Friends share their true feelings, you know. Even secrets they can’t tell others. That’s how you become closer friends.]
Sharing secrets would make them closer.
Turning that thought over, Rahel realized there were still things she hadn’t told Vivian.
The first was—
“Vivian doesn’t know my condition yet.”
If she revealed that simply holding her hand kept Vivian’s illness at bay…
“Would she stay by my side forever?”
Rahel knew it was wrong to exploit her friend’s sickness.
But even if her mind said so, her heart couldn’t help but rejoice at the excuse to keep Vivian near.
And the second was—
“If she finds out I’m actually a boy… will she hate me?”
She hesitated briefly, then decided it would be all right.
After all, even knowing that the Emperor was watching Rahel, and that staying by her side meant danger, Vivian had still chosen to remain.
“I’ll tell her when she wakes.”
With that resolve, Rahel gripped Vivian’s sleeping hand more tightly.
When I blinked awake from a nap, we had already arrived at the villa.
After asking the knights to bring in the gifts we’d carried from the carriage, I went upstairs with Rahel at an unhurried pace.
“I hope my sisters like their presents.”
Then maybe they’d warm up to Rahel too.
Buoyed with excitement, I was halfway up the stairs when I finally noticed Rahel’s expression.
She was staring fixedly at me, deep in thought.
I tilted my head and asked, “What’s wrong, Rahel?”
She hesitated for a moment, then spoke with sudden resolve.
“I have something to tell you later.”
“Something to tell me?”
“Yes. Before we go back home.”
What could it be? She was making me curious on purpose!
“Can’t you just tell me now? I want to know.”
“Not now.”
Her eyes swept toward the passing servants, and her voice cut firmly.
I was dying of curiosity, but since she insisted, I let it go.
“Besides, there’s something more important right now!”
We reached the door to my room, where two maids were waiting.
“Welcome back, young lady.”
As usual, Rahel would have walked past them without a word, but since I was holding her hand tightly, she stopped with me.
I squeezed her hand in encouragement.
“Go on, Rahel—do what I told you earlier in town! Step one of getting close to the maids!”
With clear reluctance, Rahel lowered her gaze and muttered softly, “…Yes. I’m back.”
That’s it! Good job!
The first step to building rapport is always a proper greeting.
Of course, as a noble lady, Rahel could have ignored them and they still would have obeyed her.
But true relationships are built on reciprocity.
Until now, the maids had served her one-sidedly. This was the first small step toward something mutual.
Feeling proud, I glanced at the maids’ faces.
As expected, they stared at Rahel in wide-eyed surprise.
But Rahel, flustered and embarrassed, rushed into the room without looking back.
“She should’ve invited them in to receive their gifts too…”
Well, I supposed Rahel still felt awkward with them, so it couldn’t be helped.
Smiling, I turned to the maids.
“Could you spare me a moment, sisters?”
“Do you need something?”
“Not exactly. The young lady prepared gifts for you.”
“Gifts?”
Puzzled, they followed me into the room.
Rahel stood by the boxes the knights had delivered earlier.
I approached and pulled out two bottles—clear glass filled with transparent liquid.
Handing one to each maid, I explained, “This is a beauty tonic that’s really popular in the village these days. You wash your face and apply it, and your skin becomes smooth and soft.”
“Oh! I was thinking of buying this myself.”
The maids’ faces lit up with delight.
Naturally.
Though Rahel had paid for them, I had chosen the items carefully.
When I’d first suggested them, Rahel hadn’t understood why of all things I’d picked these.
[True, food is an easy gift when you’re not close to someone. But in a ducal household, there’s already plenty to eat.]
[So maybe a local specialty?]
[That works, but food disappears quickly.]
[That’s true.]
[But a gift they can use every day? Every time they see it, they’ll think of the giver!]
And my prediction was correct.
From now on, every morning and evening when they washed their faces, they’d be reminded of Rahel.
Step one in building friendship—complete.
“Hmm, things are going well. Maybe I should take it one step further.”
I added, “The young lady felt bad she couldn’t prepare these sooner, since the trip from the capital to here must have been tiring.”
Rahel shot me a startled look.
“When did I ever…?”
But the maids, oblivious to the truth, were moved.
“You didn’t need to trouble yourself like this… Thank you so much, young lady. We’ll serve you even better from now on.”
Rahel’s eyes wavered faintly as she watched them.
Though she’d bought the gifts at my insistence, she clearly hadn’t believed such a small thing could change anything.
At a loss for how to react, she looked to me.
“Poor Rahel…”
The surprise written all over her face said it all—
That she hadn’t expected, not even a little, that anyone would respond warmly to her.
That she had been so lonely, she had given up hope entirely.
